codelock Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Recently an ex who dumped me (I was the dumpee) 9 months ago (short relationship of 4-5 months) unfriended me. Just for your information I am in a very happy relationship of 5 months. I met him unexpectedly and things are going amazingly. So I have 0 desire to get with my ex. Also I'm publicly in a relationship with my guy on Facebook for over a month and we've had pictures and tagged stuff together all over social media since June. I noticed he unfriended me because of a couple odd things. His best friend contacted me a few weeks ago asking how I am and about my life. It was totally random and I never talk to this guy so I didn't understand why he contacted me. I went to my exes page and noticed he relocated to a different city a month ago which also seemed weird for him. I'm currently volunteering abroad for a few weeks and his friend replied to my message yesterday. I went to my exes page and noticed he defriended me. Seems odd after so long. Just curious what the reason are? He's also Still friends with all my friends that never speak to him so it seems weird he defriended me but not our mutual friends. Since normally I'd attribute that to cleaning out Facebook. Just seemed weird right after his best friend asking about my Life and what's new. Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 If you are in a happy and new relationship, why do you care? But I think it can be because perhaps he saw you are in a new relationship, and it hurts him to see? A guy I dated last year, who I am now friends with, unfollowed me on Instagram, because he does not like to see pics of me and my boyfriend. He said he is a bit jealous, but also envious, since he is still single (and has been for five years), so he wants to avoid being triggered. I think it makes sense. Doesn't necessarily mean your ex still wants to be with you or is still in love with you... he just is insecure, maybe lonely, etc. I would not take it personal, but to be honest, why should you bother? You two are not in touch and you are 'supposedly' happy with your new partner. So move on and stop thinking about it. You probably will never see the guy again, so what's the point? 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 I think it is because sometimes people hold on just a bit for a quite a while, even if they were the dumper. You were probably on his mind in a way for some of that time and now that you seem to be in a solid relationship, he doesn't like to be reminded of it. Now he truly considers you an ex, he is not looking to reconnect with. Whereas previously you were on his back burner. That might be why his best friend did the recon to check how you were doing in your life (i.e. see how serious or happy you were with new bf and that info probably traveled back to your ex). Enjoy your new relationship and don't worry too much about social media & exes (more trouble than it's worth most of the time). ps he remained friends with mutual friends of yours because they don't deserve to be unfriended-the nature of their relationship is less intense with them and it's harmless to remain friends. It totally makes sense to me. Goodluck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 Recently an ex who dumped me (I was the dumpee) 9 months ago (short relationship of 4-5 months) unfriended me. Just for your information I am in a very happy relationship of 5 months. I met him unexpectedly and things are going amazingly. So I have 0 desire to get with my ex. Also I'm publicly in a relationship with my guy on Facebook for over a month and we've had pictures and tagged stuff together all over social media since June. I noticed he unfriended me because of a couple odd things. His best friend contacted me a few weeks ago asking how I am and about my life. It was totally random and I never talk to this guy so I didn't understand why he contacted me. I went to my exes page and noticed he relocated to a different city a month ago which also seemed weird for him. I'm currently volunteering abroad for a few weeks and his friend replied to my message yesterday. I went to my exes page and noticed he defriended me. Seems odd after so long. Just curious what the reason are? He's also Still friends with all my friends that never speak to him so it seems weird he defriended me but not our mutual friends. Since normally I'd attribute that to cleaning out Facebook. Just seemed weird right after his best friend asking about my Life and what's new. There's nothing mystifying about this. He no longer wants to be your friend on facebook. And really, if you're so happy in your new relationship, why do you care that your ex has moved on? Does he owe you attachment still? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author codelock Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 You guys are right! I just noticed he defriended me a couple hours ago. His friend replied to my message yesterday so I replied just now then checked my exes account and noticed. Honestly it's good he defriended me so I'm happy he did. I'm terrible with defriending anyone (exes, strangers, people I'll never talk to again) and did feel a little bad when I went public with my relationship as I'm sure he's been unlucky with finding someone. Now I can post without wondering if I'm hurting someone's feelings even though they dumped me. I think it's natural to Wonder why especially when his best friend contacted me so recently. Your reasons make perfect sense! Just my curiosity but this year has been great so far and I'm looking forward to what the future brings! Amazing how you can be heartbroken over someone but it was the step you needed to find someone more compatible and right for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author codelock Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 There's nothing mystifying about this. He no longer wants to be your friend on facebook. And really, if you're so happy in your new relationship, why do you care that your ex has moved on? Does he owe you attachment still? Understood! I brought this up mostly cause his best friend messaged me out of the blue and we haven't talked since the break up. Seemed like very odd timing. If it was an out of the blue unfriending I wouldn't be posting this. But this combined with his close friend asking how I am on Facebook seemed weird Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 13, 2017 Share Posted October 13, 2017 If it was an out of the blue unfriending It was--you said you had no idea until his boy contacted you and you went to look at his account. But this combined with his close friend asking how I am on Facebook seemed weird His boy was sniffing to see if you're free. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 There's nothing mystifying about this. He no longer wants to be your friend on facebook. And really, if you're so happy in your new relationship, why do you care that your ex has moved on? Does he owe you attachment still? Exactly this. And you know what would solve issues like this? Get rid of your Facebook. No noticing un friending. No wondering about updating relationship status (why anyone does this is beyond me) I'm serious actually. If something (like Fakebook) is such a cause for ruminating, get rid if it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Just look at the ramifications and emotional effects of a single key strike when it comes to social media. It is an unhealthy medium, and I am so thankful I never bought into it, and I actually thank FB for not allowing me to even look since I don't subscribe. It is a completely unnatural situation where people are able to construct a facade and also have "friends" who really are nothing even remotely resembling such. I could go on but I've said enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Just look at the ramifications and emotional effects of a single key strike when it comes to social media. It is an unhealthy medium, and I am so thankful I never bought into it, and I actually thank FB for not allowing me to even look since I don't subscribe. It is a completely unnatural situation where people are able to construct a facade and also have "friends" who really are nothing even remotely resembling such. I could go on but I've said enough. I agree with the bolded. It adds a whole extra layer of mental debate into everyday life that is unnecessary and tends to prevent people from truly living life. I know some good stories where it has brought people together in good ways but there is a lot of bad as well on both romantic and friendship side of using social media. Spending energy worrying about having been defriended by someone you really don't want in your life anyway or a person who continues to hurt you is wasted time/energy. Idk, but at least having it happen has given you clarity out what you want from this guy (nothing) and how you liked to move forward. I like how you spun it into the positives that you could see and take from it. That is growth and something positive to come out of something that on surface seemed negative. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Why would he stay friends with a girl he dated briefly 9 months ago is the better question 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JellyTot Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Maybe he met someone else and didn't want her to feel uncomfortable about him still being in touch with an ex. Maybe the new gf insisted he unfriended his ex. Maybe he wanted to draw a line under that part of his life and move on. Maybe he felt it would be mean to cut you off immediately and it felt kinder to do it slowly after you'd moved on. Maybe he felt awkward seeing your relationship with someone else. There are lots of possible reasons and you'll never know why. Forget about it and focus on yourself and your new relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Maybe he just noticed that you were in a serious relationship. His friend (or it was your ex using his friend's account) contacted you just out of curiosity and thought it would be respectful to delete himself off your list. I doubt very highly he was carrying a torch for you and got jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 14, 2017 Share Posted October 14, 2017 Recently an ex who dumped me (I was the dumpee) 9 months ago (short relationship of 4-5 months) unfriended me. Just for your information I am in a very happy relationship of 5 months. I met him unexpectedly and things are going amazingly. So I have 0 desire to get with my ex. Also I'm publicly in a relationship with my guy on Facebook for over a month and we've had pictures and tagged stuff together all over social media since June. I noticed he unfriended me because of a couple odd things. His best friend contacted me a few weeks ago asking how I am and about my life. It was totally random and I never talk to this guy so I didn't understand why he contacted me. I went to my exes page and noticed he relocated to a different city a month ago which also seemed weird for him. I'm currently volunteering abroad for a few weeks and his friend replied to my message yesterday. I went to my exes page and noticed he defriended me. Seems odd after so long. Just curious what the reason are? He's also Still friends with all my friends that never speak to him so it seems weird he defriended me but not our mutual friends. Since normally I'd attribute that to cleaning out Facebook. Just seemed weird right after his best friend asking about my Life and what's new. Now that you are dating someone else and public about it, your ex is not interested in being friends. I really feel that people who make a habit of being friends with their exes are asking for trouble. I just had a nice date with a beautiful, intelligent woman who seems to maintain friendships with every buy she dates or ever dated. Ugh. She may have boundaries, which is questionable, but some of her exes do not. I am no way pursuing someone like that. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted October 15, 2017 Share Posted October 15, 2017 why does a woman who dumped me and blocked me on facebook at the same time unblock me a few months later? who knows? who cares? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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