Cupcake Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Hi everyone. I just recently meet a guy who lives in the UK. Well, I am currently living in the US. We met and had lunch for the first time a few weeks ago while he was visiting the US for company business. We have been interacting through phone calls and emails quite frequently since the time we met. We get along great over the phone. He will be traveling back to the US sometime soon. We are planning to spend some more one on one time together. So my question for all of you is..... What cultural traits should I expect from a UK man? I just want to be prepared so that I don't offend him accidently or be offended by him. This is probably a stupid question. But it just seems that people in different countries have different values, and ways of thinking. For example, I've dated African men who seemed to be very dominate and whose culture allowed them to have multiple wives at the same time. The general American culture allows only one spouse at a time. I'm just wondering what are UK peoples general beliefs and values. Thanks !!!!!
country gal Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I lived in England for about 7 months a few years ago ... what I can tell you is that they are very similar to us, so you arent going to run into some major cultural issues, particularly concerning values. I lived in a northern rural area as well as in the city of Newcastle, so things may be different in other places.... or it may have just been my experience. However, one of the differences that I did see there is that UK women tend to be behind on the times when it comes to women's lib ... not that they are all barefoot and pregant, but from my experience men are given a lot more respect and the women dont seem to mind all that much (the women at my school were more in search of a husband than a degree). Similarly, their women are not really encouraged into sports as they are here, so if you are sporty, be prepared for him being surprised at your ability. Other than that, everything there is just much smaller .... cars, meal portions, houses, even the muscles on the men are smaller! I dated a great guy from there too .... ahh, memories! good luck!
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 everything there is just much smaller .... cars, meal portions, houses, even the muscles on the men are smaller! Having visited the US, I'd tend to go along with that. Country Gal's right - other than some linguistic and minor cultural differences, we're pretty much like you. You sound as if you're fairly sensitive and respectful towards other cultures...so by that alone, you've pretty much got everything covered. Have a nice time with your guy when he visits.
Aimée Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I've heard that kissing in Britain is considered to be part of the foreplay, the ouverture to sex and not just some fun pastime as for Americans. I remember reading this story about American soldiers who thought British gals were easy to have because they had sex so soon while the British women thought the Americans were pigs who only thought about one thing. It turned out that Americans just kiss much earlier than the British, so when girls got kissed so early on they assumed the guys wanted to have sex and some of them then just went for it even when they initially hadn't planned it.
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by Aimée I've heard that kissing in Britain is considered to be part of the foreplay, the ouverture to sex and not just some fun pastime as for Americans. I remember reading this story about American soldiers who thought British gals were easy to have because they had sex so soon while the British women thought the Americans were pigs who only thought about one thing. It turned out that Americans just kiss much earlier than the British, so when girls got kissed so early on they assumed the guys wanted to have sex and some of them then just went for it even when they initially hadn't planned it. Ok - I'm confused If I'm out with someone, the kiss seals the deal as to whether there's chemistry or not. I've certainly never felt pressurised to sleep with someone simply because they've kissed me. It's the usual," kiss, grope...ok, can sense things are about to get a little heated, and I'm not sure what I really think about this guy yet... so time to pull away." That will happen on a few more dates - then if it gets to the stage where trust has developed and you've become very attracted to the man then it may well be time to have a waxing session, get some new underwear and get down to it. After that, kissing does tend to be part of foreplay - but isn't everything when you're in that heady stage of a relationship?
Aimée Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I was talking about the time of WWII, now things may have changed. The times they are a-changing...
Houdini's Sweetie Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Cupcake, I have a question for you. How did you meet your UK guy? I'd love to meet/date an English or Scots guy, but how do you go about that with the Atlantic Ocean in the way? I'm currently emailing/phoning a man who lives in Oregon (and I'm on the east coast) and even that seems pretty hopeless sometimes when I consider the distance. I have friends who think I'm an idiot for even considering it, but I'm willing to give it a try. How did you do it?
alphamale Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Originally posted by country gal Similarly, their women are not really encouraged into sports as they are here, so you mean Sport Spice was just an illusion?!? WTF....thanks a lot for bursting my bubble
clandestinidad Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 even the muscles on the men are smaller! okay, i'll go ahead and ask...... ALL of the muscles are smaller??? even the male member??
big_girls_rock Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Now correct me if im wrong but I got this from an article explaining dating, love, marriage, and even baby carriage. This article features all of these things on France, England. Argentina, and India. Heres the downlow on England: Dating is very Ambiguous in England. Dating multiple guys is totally acceptable. People tend to keep their options open and date casually until they've completely made up their minds. Iterracial dating is fairly common- especially in London, which is a very cosmopolitan city. Any negative comment about an iterracial couple would really be frowned apon. People are still very sniffy about May-December romances, though, especially if the man is much older than the woman. Its very commom for unmaried couples to live together. The number of marriages is decreasing, since many couples are now moving in together and leaving it at that. American women seem to be more focused on finding a husband; here, the only societal pressure to get married comes from elderly aunts. The man still proposes to the woman, with few exceptions. The rest of the article goes in to the children and family portion which I didn't think was really arrelivant to the topic. Hope this helped! Anna Maxted, author of Being Commited- Figure Magazine
lindya Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by big_girls_rock Now correct me if im wrong but I got this from an article explaining dating, love, marriage, and even baby carriage. This article features all of these things on France, England. Argentina, and India. Heres the downlow on England: This reminds me. Note to the the OP about cultural matters. Remember to avoid referring to the UK as England. Not sure that they're frowned upon, but I'd say that old men with young women (or vice versa) are liable to be regarded as a bit foolish. Interracial dating is fine unless you happen upon some members of the illustrious BNP (British National Party). I think every country in Europe probably has its nationalist, racist thugs, and sadly we're no exception. Also, people over 65 who live in rural areas might still comment. As for dating multiple people until you're certain about which one you're with. I'd say that we have the same "are we exclusive, when do I know and how do I check?" dilemmas as you do in the US. In fact, my impression has always been that the US is more of a dating culture which permits people to keep their options open, whereas we often tend to fall into relationships a bit here (eg opposite sex friends suddenly develop a thing for eachother and the next thing you know they seem to have moved in together or a pregnancy is announced).
Pendawn Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by lindya Remember to avoid referring to the UK as England. As for dating multiple people until you're certain about which one you're with. I'd say that we have the same "are we exclusive, when do I know and how do I check?" dilemmas as you do in the US. In fact, my impression has always been that the US is more of a dating culture which permits people to keep their options open, whereas we often tend to fall into relationships a bit here (eg opposite sex friends suddenly develop a thing for eachother and the next thing you know they seem to have moved in together or a pregnancy is announced). As a Scot, I SAY AMEN to the first sentence. But yes I agree, i actually think the Uk really doesn't have such a "dating" culture as the US, in my experience I've NEVER known anyone date multiple people at once openly. People either tend to be single and just having one night stands or the odd date etc. Most people tend to assume exclusivity once you've been on more than a couple of dates with someone.
alphamale Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 hey....I was born in London....does that make me a "UK man"?
clandestinidad Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 its hard to answer that alpha....we cant see 'all' of your muscles
Author Cupcake Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 How did you meet your UK guy? I met him at work. I work at the frount desk of the VIP lounge at an airport in the US. He as one of the VIP guest in the lounge. Normally the guest checkin with me, and they disburse throughout the lounge. I don't see them again untill they leave, or if their flights cancel or delay. There are other people inside the lounge to provide general assistance to the guest. However, this guy insisted upon having me assist him with every little detail. Once he approached the desk and asked, "Does this lounge have internet access?" Then he came back and asked, "How do I get access through the internet provider? Do I need a special code?" Then he came back and said, "I'm really sorry to bother you but it's not working." I was a little annoyed because he seemed to be really stupid, or just trying to annoy me on purpose. I thought he was attractive the moment he walked into the lounge. After he walked away, I checked his travel record just to see how old he was or if anyone else was traveling with him. I remained professional. There was no way for anyone to know that I was interested in him. When he approaced the desk for the 4th time, I volunteered to go into the lounge with him where his computer was set up. Turns out, his laptop computer was not wireless compatible. I'm not sure if he knew that or not. But after I called the computer company for him and discovered the fact, he apologized for my inconvience. Then he started complimenting me and asking me personal questions. He let me know that he was interested in me. We had lunch together while I was on break and he was still waiting for his flight back to the UK. We exchanged information. Now we are getting to know each other.
country gal Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by kat23 okay, i'll go ahead and ask...... ALL of the muscles are smaller??? even the male member?? well, i only "ran into" one in England, but what i can tell you is that the gentlemen there are generally not circumcised.
shesays Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by Aimée I've heard that kissing in Britain is considered to be part of the foreplay, the ouverture to sex and not just some fun pastime as for Americans. I remember reading this story about American soldiers who thought British gals were easy to have because they had sex so soon while the British women thought the Americans were pigs who only thought about one thing. It turned out that Americans just kiss much earlier than the British, so when girls got kissed so early on they assumed the guys wanted to have sex and some of them then just went for it even when they initially hadn't planned it. I lived in London and Brighton for a year, and I really think that is an ancient characterization of the role of kissing. Here's what I saw (with the university-aged people I hung out with): Go out in a group to a club, drinking, dancing. See someone you like, then makeout with them (maybe more than one a night). If sufficiently exciting or pleasant or whatever, exchange names and cellphone numbers and maybe start to talk and begin dating. The makingout session is called "pulling", and so it wouldn't be uncommon to hear "I pulled three times last night" from someone out for brekkie the next morning. Pulling used to just mean attracting someone, but now there almost always has to be something physical for it to be pulling. Older people probably don't pull as much, but I still would never say that kissing is more sacred an act in the UK than here. Just like here, i think it depends on the person how much kissing means to them. Definitely more uncircumcised men. Which I prefer. Enjoy your UK man, and his accent!
room101 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 well im sorry to say it but guys in the UK vary just as much as those in the US. u can get the gentleman type that fits into the old stereotype of british men right the way through to those who r just total sh*ts! it sounds like the guy u found was closer to the first side of the scale. typical trying not to be too obvious but requesting u to help him with things - trying to be able to make conversation with u. so i say, go for it! see how it all goes. u never know what could stem from it.
Author Cupcake Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Hey everyone! I acutally got the nerve to ask him during our last conversation if he was circumcised or not. Well, he isn't circumcised. But he seemed to be very confident that sex would be no different that with a circumcised man. His exact words were, "I can show you better than I can tell you." My favovrite phrase!!!!!
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