SirBeanStein Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 (edited) Hello everyone, I met this girl on tinder that lives near me, we spoke for a few days, conversation went really well. We then went for a date for 3 hours at two bars, it went amazing, we kissed a few times, I walked her back to hers and had a goodbye kiss before I headed back to mine. Her mates were telling me how much she really loved the date and wants a second one, which the girl in question also told me herself. We texted the next day and then we both coincidentally went to the same pre drinks that night. She was very quiet with me. She left to go home with her flatmates but messaged that she wanted to speak to me outside. The next hour we spoke (both of us were drunk) about different things, how she's into me but also has this other guy slightly on her mind. She said she wanted to cancel the second date but never said if she wanted to go any further with me or not. I walked her halfway back to hers before I turned around walked back to mine. She messaged me a few minutes later saying she needs to concentrate on her last year at university rather than focus on a relationship with anyone. The next morning we discussed about having a break as we both felt things were escalating faster than what felt comfortable, and we have both planned to meet up either next week or week after for a coffee, and to 'refresh'. The break in question is minimal contact, no less than 5 texts all together during the period. Was just wondering what could happen from here. I feel a great connection with her but I'm not sure what her actual intentions are with the week/2 week break, what are peoples thoughts? Thanks Edited October 12, 2017 by SirBeanStein
d0nnivain Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 Her statements about wanting to concentrate on school & having another guy on her mind are white lies women tell men when the women don't want to date those men. If she was really into you, neither of those excuses would stop her from dating you. Assume she's not interested & move on. You can't take a "break" from one date. 2
soyou Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 She's NOT that into you. Delete her number and move on. I'm a woman and I can tell you with 100% confidence that SHE IS NOT INTO YOU. 1
Author SirBeanStein Posted October 12, 2017 Author Posted October 12, 2017 (edited) So what about the secret snaphat videos I received from her flatmates of her saying she cant wait for a second and third date with me? Surly that means somthing? :/ Edited October 12, 2017 by SirBeanStein
d0nnivain Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 So what about the secret snaphat videos I received from her flatmates of her saying she cant wait for a sec9nd and third date with me? Surly that means somthing? :/ How drunk was she when she said those things? Personally I would believe what she told you in person rather than secret videos her friends took of her & sent you. If you met her on tinder why are you in contact with her friends already? Why would they would think it's OK to send you -- some guy she went on 1 date with -- secret videos of her? I think these friends are pretty disloyal individuals who can't be trusted.
Author SirBeanStein Posted October 12, 2017 Author Posted October 12, 2017 The videos were the next morning after the first date. Two of her flatmates are in the same uni course as me who I know well. She did message me saying that we both said things that may or may not have been true due to both of us being drunk. I feel the space may help with me and her trying the dating again, after all, she was really keen for future dates as she was saying stuff that she wants to do on the second and third date, then less than 48 hours later she acts weird about it all.
Cobra_X Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Distance makes the heart go wander! So what about the secret snaphat videos I received from her flatmates of her saying she cant wait for a second and third date with me? Surly that means somthing? :/ 90% chance she is sleeping with another guy from Tinder. When she says she doesn't want a relationship, that means you failed. You acted like you want to marry her and have kids on the first date. Epic fail. You came across as needy and clingy. Women hate that crap. Whatever her friends say is garbage. Ignore it. Perhaps they dislike the man who is providing her sex right now.
Cobra_X Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 The next hour we spoke (both of us were drunk) about different things, how she's into me but also has this other guy slightly on her mind. She said she wanted to cancel the second date but never said if she wanted to go any further with me or not. You know what this means!! High chance there is a guy who is sleeping with her, but won't commit to a relationship.
Author SirBeanStein Posted October 12, 2017 Author Posted October 12, 2017 She told me that to be blunt, she thinks he's no good, and she doesn't want anything to do with him but yet she cant completely remove him from her mind. It's such a weird situation
trailwolf Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 i think you should move on , i dont think anything good is going to come out of this !
d0nnivain Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 It's not that weird. College girls like unattainable bad boys, which is what this other guy is.
Cobra_X Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 She told me that to be blunt, she thinks he's no good, and she doesn't want anything to do with him but yet she cant completely remove him from her mind. It's such a weird situation No, it's not weird... it's predictable and common. This other guy comes across as masculine and strong. You come across as effeminate and needy. You lose. Listen to me right now. If you ever want to be successful with women you have to understand their psychology. Because the whole world is going to lie to you and tell you to act like a bitch... and it's just going to break your heart over and over. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201301/do-pick-artist-techniques-really-work It's not that weird. College girls like unattainable bad boys, which is what this other guy is. Bingo!
act00 Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 My thoughts is she is not interested in you as a priority. I give credit that she laid it on the line that there's another guy in the picture, leaving you to make your own choices on if this works for you or not. She's wishy-washy at best. You don't seem fully invested in pursuing anything long-term and serious either, as you initiated and agreed to "take things slow" and are accepting of her "other guy," and presumably you're seeking other women. If you want exclusive and serious, this woman is not for you. She doesn't know what she wants, and this other dude is still in the picture. I think you need to be clear on what you want as well, and start learning how to build boundaries. Taking "a break" when you barely even started dating is not a good sign. The "break" is never a good sign, but with this much conflict, which includes another guy, so early on in dating, is not worth your time...she's in or she's out...and the same goes for you, as she has laid it all out on the table. Accept the protocol she has presented or move on....I say move on. The bottom line is she's not into you...enough.
Kamille Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 (edited) Well yes things have escalated quickly if you both felt the need to have a "serious conversation" about where things were going after one date. How the hell did that happen? Doesn't bode well. Step back and try to be fun and lighthearted. Avoid intense conversations this early on. May I also suggest you avoid talking about her with her flatmates? That snapchat should not have been shared with you this early on. Edited October 12, 2017 by Kamille 1
Omei Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 Date high I myself have gotten a few drinks in have felt hopeful and lovey dovey towards a guy then when all is said and done and you're not feeling that date high and you're not really into the guy just into the idea. That's probably what happened for her
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