jujuju Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 I've had feelings for this girl for several months. We made out one time but that's it. She's told me times before she's thought about having sex with me. We've gone out for drinks about once every week or two for the last few months. At some point tonight we ended up talking after we had a few drinks. She knows I have a lot of feelings for her. I know right now she's seeing someone even though it's not serious. I told her tonight I wanted to make out with her (she asked what was on my mind). She told me she wouldn't have let me, but I should have tried it anyways (??). I finally had the balls to tell her I wasn't interested in just being friends with her. She said that was stupid. I asked why she went out with me that night knowing I wanted something more. She said she did it because she likes me and that I'm a good friend, but that she likes this other guy too. I told her I wouldn't be able to move on to date other people if I just kept hanging out with her. Again, she said that was stupid and yelled for me to get out of her car (??). She started crying. After she calmed down, again I reiterated I was not interested in hanging out with her just as friends, but we can still be friendly at work. She said she's still going to flirt with me, and she's sure we'll have this talk again. I asked her not to do that anymore, but again she said she was going to. I just left after that. I could see she was crying as I drove off. I could see the entire time we were out for drinks the dude she was seeing kept texting her and calling her. And no matter how many different ways I tried to explain it, she couldn't understand why we couldn't continue hanging out if I had feelings for her. I feel like I'm going crazy- Am I the bad person for trying to move on from this situation?
The Urbanyst Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 Wow.. you have a lot to learn about the dating game lol. For starters, you've had feelings for this girl for several months? You know when the time to make a move was? The first DAY you had feelings. What were you waiting for? lol. The guys who win at this game are the guys who make moves without hesitation. You snooze you lose. Hanging out as friends with a girl you want to date is corny and makes you seem insecure. On the other side of the issue.. you need to learn better how women operate. A lot of women collect "orbiters" which is just a term for male friends they flirt and hang out with to boost their ego, but have no sexual interest in. Don't be one of these chumps. 1
Cobra_X Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 I could see the entire time we were out for drinks the dude she was seeing kept texting her and calling her. And no matter how many different ways I tried to explain it, she couldn't understand why we couldn't continue hanging out if I had feelings for her. I feel like I'm going crazy- Am I the bad person for trying to move on from this situation? Ok... you acted like you wanted to marry her, which to her feels like taking her freedom away. Instead you should have acted like you wanted to have sex with her... which will feel like passion to her. By acting effeminate and gushing your feelings she responded by friend-zoning you. Breaking it off was the only play you really had left. If you get another opportunity with another girl... do not act clingy and needy.
Miss Spider Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 (edited) I'm sorry. She was just not into you from the beginning. Her saying she could see you two hooking up was future faking/leading you on to garner validation,, attention,(favors, perhaps $?). That's why girls keep guys in friend zone most of the time. Just move on and find somebody interested. Very sorry but you made the right decision Edited October 12, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
hercules22 Posted October 12, 2017 Posted October 12, 2017 these women are a waste of time dont be someone hangout buddy always make your intentions clear from the beginning so you dont catch feeling if she isnt even into you 1
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