Author AnnaN88 Posted October 26, 2017 Author Posted October 26, 2017 Quick update guys: I have not texted the guy and I have not heard from him until yesterday when he texted me apologising for not getting in touch sooner because he was " not sure how we left things after coffee". What should I do? It's been two weeks now, he had plenty of time to text me if he was really interested. On the other hand, I feel I was quite cold and maybe seemed uninterested as well. After all, I cancelled that date twice.
heavenonearth Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 Quick update guys: I have not texted the guy and I have not heard from him until yesterday when he texted me apologising for not getting in touch sooner because he was " not sure how we left things after coffee". What should I do? It's been two weeks now, he had plenty of time to text me if he was really interested. On the other hand, I feel I was quite cold and maybe seemed uninterested as well. After all, I cancelled that date twice. He was probably dating other women in the meantime and maybe did not have a good click with either of them so now he wants to see you again to see if the sparks are flying? Or maybe he just wants sex? Could be either. IF I were you, I'd go on a second date and find out.
Imajerk17 Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 I think this thread should be required reading for at least a few guys on here who are dealing w a woman who seems reserved. What is often (no not always but often) happening is that she doesn't think *you* are interested, so she is pulling back herself. So guys, let's be very careful taking the 'Play It Cool' advice! She often won't express interest back at us unless she thinks we are interested in her, and a woman expects a man who is interested, to act interested. Anyway OP maybe he will text you on his holiday. You can always text him and ask him how it is going too. I mean, if you are borh shy, then one of you has to break the impasse...
Rali Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 Quick update guys: I have not texted the guy and I have not heard from him until yesterday when he texted me apologising for not getting in touch sooner because he was " not sure how we left things after coffee". What should I do? It's been two weeks now, he had plenty of time to text me if he was really interested. On the other hand, I feel I was quite cold and maybe seemed uninterested as well. After all, I cancelled that date twice. It's been two weeks but also he was on vacation for part of it, right? If you want to see him again I'd give it one more shot and see how it goes, decide after that.
Imajerk17 Posted October 26, 2017 Posted October 26, 2017 (edited) This thread is two weeks old I just realized that, and I didn't see that writing my other post here. I need to do a better job checking dates! Quick update guys: I have not texted the guy and I have not heard from him until yesterday when he texted me apologising for not getting in touch sooner because he was " not sure how we left things after coffee". What should I do? It's been two weeks now, he had plenty of time to text me if he was really interested. On the other hand, I feel I was quite cold and maybe seemed uninterested as well. After all, I cancelled that date twice. Are you still interested/curious? Just text him back then. If *you* came across cold then that may be a reason he held back--and then had second thoughts about (as he contacted you again) Edited October 26, 2017 by Imajerk17
Author AnnaN88 Posted November 28, 2017 Author Posted November 28, 2017 Well that's actually a good sign. He's only asking you that for one reason. Guess what it is? Hint: A date. It's entirely possible. That may have been why he didn't pull the trigger on asking you out for a second date with a little more gusto than "keep in touch". He might have been worried about rejection/unsure of your interest level. I say do the "text him on Sunday or Monday" routine I described above if he hasn't contacted you before then. This gives you an opportunity to show him that you are interested in the event he's unsure. If his interest level is there as well then hello second date. If not, then you've made no wrong moves by thanking him again for a nice time and/or asking him how his weekend went. Good luck! I wanted to give you an update about this for a while now. We went on a few dates, but then he said he had some important update to give me: he resigned from his job back in September and he goes back home ( he is American ) next month. So we decided to see each other and keep it casual!
Purepony Posted November 28, 2017 Posted November 28, 2017 I thought he has nice. I am not sure if I like him or not in a romantic way, but I wouldn't mind meeting again. I will wait for him to make a move if he wants to see me again. If not, oh well, it is not the end of the world Nevermind just saw update
Author AnnaN88 Posted December 1, 2017 Author Posted December 1, 2017 I wanted to give you an update about this for a while now. We went on a few dates, but then he said he had some important update to give me: he resigned from his job back in September and he goes back home ( he is American ) next month. So we decided to see each other and keep it casual! This is not going well for me. We have seen each other a lot lately, but the problem is that he is moving back home in about 3 weeks time. He did not mention this on his first date and his hesitant behaviour was due to him leaving and not wanting anything serious. I told him I am fine with spending time together, having no expectations, but in reality it is not like this, I feel like I am getting emotionally attached. We saw each other 3 times this week. He finished with work already so has plenty of free time in the weeks to come. Should I back off maybe? I really enjoy the time spent together but I am afraid I might make it harder for me when he is finally gone. I went on many disappointing dates recently and with this guy I can finally feel some sparkle Any advice?
mortensorchid Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 Due to the circumstances around it, I would say it's time to move on from him. He's moving and he is not making any gestures towards you saying he wants you to at least visit him or even keep in contact once he is gone. I'm sorry he's leaving and you obviously like him, but these things happen. If he was at all serious about you he would be saying things like "I wish I wasn't leaving" or "I want you to come see me" or the like.
Author AnnaN88 Posted December 1, 2017 Author Posted December 1, 2017 Due to the circumstances around it, I would say it's time to move on from him. He's moving and he is not making any gestures towards you saying he wants you to at least visit him or even keep in contact once he is gone. I'm sorry he's leaving and you obviously like him, but these things happen. If he was at all serious about you he would be saying things like "I wish I wasn't leaving" or "I want you to come see me" or the like. I totally agree, I am aware that I will probably never see him again. He will move to New York and I am in Europe, so slim chances, even if there was a small interest from his side. One part of me is saying “ have fun and enjoy the time with him” but then I will probably be a bit too invested.
threeofone Posted December 1, 2017 Posted December 1, 2017 I've actually had a similar situation. My version was the opposite. TL;DR, met foreign girl, was only going to be in states for 3 months, she didn't speak much english at first, first date was awkward but funny. Told myself if I continue to see her I wont take it seriously. FF 2 months and I caught mega feels for her. Everything was good, good sex and even though we didn't speak each other language much, I still feel like we connected. However I messed up and told her I loved her, then the following day I cried/teared up at the end of a movie that basically depicted our relationship. A week later she ended things with me and it devastated me because we had planned for her to come over for the last 3 days and I'd take her to the aiport. She cried the entire video chat. Her reason for ending things with me was because she started talking to her "ex" back home who broke up with her, her mother was sick and was going back home early. Only the ex thing ended up being true. So my point is, I think it would better to just stop seeing him now if you feel like you are starting to get too attached. It is only going to get worse and you are only going to feel worse when he is gone. Which I like to think happened with my oriental girl. Maybe she legitimately liked me but knew (we both knew) it was never going to work out. So she ended things with me early and accepted her exbf of at least 4 years back.
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