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my bf's gay friend?

telly1

By telly1
in Dating

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telly1 New Member

telly1

Posted
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So my boyfriend (we've been dating for a year) has a gay friend who's asked him out for drinks. I'm not really sure how to feel about this because it means a couple things:

1. his friend doesn't know that he has a girlfriend

2. my boyfriend attracts gay men? A situation like this has happened before where a gay man in a bar bought him a drink and tried to take him into the washroom :lmao: I thought it was hilarious at the time, but thinking about it now doesn't it kind of imply that:

3. I'm attracted to feminine men? I'm not really sure what that means in terms of my sexuality but I've always thought of myself as straight.

 

I'm just super confused as to what I should feel or do in this situation lol.

 

I've tried talking to my bf about it but he doesn't really seem to take it seriously or see it as a real problem

 

I'm not really sure if I'm overthinking this situation or if it's just the beginning of another problem haha. Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

-telly

rightondude Established Member

rightondude

Posted
Posted

Is your boyfriend BI/Curious? If not I don't think you have much to worry about. Is your boyfriend effeminate? Or does he just have a gay guy friend?

  • Like 1
basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted
So my boyfriend (we've been dating for a year) has a gay friend who's asked him out for drinks. I'm not really sure how to feel about this because it means a couple things:

1. his friend doesn't know that he has a girlfriend

2. my boyfriend attracts gay men? A situation like this has happened before where a gay man in a bar bought him a drink and tried to take him into the washroom :lmao: I thought it was hilarious at the time, but thinking about it now doesn't it kind of imply that:

3. I'm attracted to feminine men? I'm not really sure what that means in terms of my sexuality but I've always thought of myself as straight.

 

I'm just super confused as to what I should feel or do in this situation lol.

 

I've tried talking to my bf about it but he doesn't really seem to take it seriously or see it as a real problem

 

I'm not really sure if I'm overthinking this situation or if it's just the beginning of another problem haha. Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

-telly

 

I reckon you're overthinking.

 

1. Why do you assume that going out for drinks has romantic overtures? This is more than likely just two guys going out for drinks. My hubby will go out for drinks with a mate and it means nothing. If you hung out with a lesbian friend, it wouldn't mean that she's hot for you.

 

2. Why do you assume the male friend doesn't know about you?

 

3. Your boyfriend has been hit on one time. This doesn't equate to him *attracting* gay men.

 

4. What makes you say your boyfriend is feminine?

 

5. If you're believe you're straight, then you're straight.

 

6. You wonder if this is the beginning of *another* problem. What other problems are you having in the relationship?

  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

Why not meet this said gay friend?

  • Like 1
Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted

Gay men hit on men they find attractive. They don't necessarily have to be feminine

  • Like 2
clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted

If he's his gay friend, why do you think there is anything romantic about it? I ask my girl friends to grab a glass of wine all the time, and it's definitely not a date. It's just friends going out for a drink.

  • Like 3
RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

Posted
Posted

Can gay guys not have straight friends?

 

I know gay guys (not effeminate at all btw) with tons of straight friends.

 

I am straight, and have lesbian friends, I even go out on the town with them - as friends. Not everything is a date.

 

Gay people are just people. Unless your BF is also gay, I wouldn't worry.

  • Like 3
Cobra_X Established Member

Cobra_X

Posted
Posted
So my boyfriend (we've been dating for a year) has a gay friend who's asked him out for drinks. I'm not really sure how to feel about this because it means a couple things:

1. his friend doesn't know that he has a girlfriend

2. my boyfriend attracts gay men? A situation like this has happened before where a gay man in a bar bought him a drink and tried to take him into the washroom :lmao: I thought it was hilarious at the time, but thinking about it now doesn't it kind of imply that:

3. I'm attracted to feminine men? I'm not really sure what that means in terms of my sexuality but I've always thought of myself as straight.

I'm just super confused as to what I should feel or do in this situation lol.

I've tried talking to my bf about it but he doesn't really seem to take it seriously or see it as a real problem

I'm not really sure if I'm overthinking this situation or if it's just the beginning of another problem haha. Thanks in advance for any advice.

-telly

 

No data you present here even raises the question of your BF's sexuality. It's clearly your overactive imagination at this point.

 

Gay guys hit on straight guys all the time. Also... you seem to be suggesting that straight guys can't be friends with gay guys??? :confused:

  • Like 2
loverboy69 Established Member

loverboy69

Posted
Posted
Can gay guys not have straight friends?

 

I know gay guys (not effeminate at all btw) with tons of straight friends.

 

I am straight, and have lesbian friends, I even go out on the town with them - as friends. Not everything is a date.

 

Gay people are just people. Unless your BF is also gay, I wouldn't worry.

 

This is me. Other then being told I have a "pretty face," I am gay but all man.

loverboy69 Established Member

loverboy69

Posted
Posted
So my boyfriend (we've been dating for a year) has a gay friend who's asked him out for drinks. I'm not really sure how to feel about this because it means a couple things:

1. his friend doesn't know that he has a girlfriend

2. my boyfriend attracts gay men? A situation like this has happened before where a gay man in a bar bought him a drink and tried to take him into the washroom :lmao: I thought it was hilarious at the time, but thinking about it now doesn't it kind of imply that:

3. I'm attracted to feminine men? I'm not really sure what that means in terms of my sexuality but I've always thought of myself as straight.

 

I'm just super confused as to what I should feel or do in this situation lol.

 

I've tried talking to my bf about it but he doesn't really seem to take it seriously or see it as a real problem

 

I'm not really sure if I'm overthinking this situation or if it's just the beginning of another problem haha. Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

-telly

 

Nothing wrong with being cautious.

 

But I say trust your BF here. Now if his friend crosses the line then take it from there but for now give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

I have lunch or drinks with my straight married guy friends. I don't have any issues with their wives.

 

Yes there are gay men and straight men who disrespect others' relationship boundaries. That's the world we live in. But unless your BF gives you real reason to question his intentions just let it be.

loverboy69 Established Member

loverboy69

Posted
Posted
Why not meet this said gay friend?

 

I agree. Not a bad idea.

 

Although I stand by my word that gay men and straight men can be friends I can see a straight woman's perspective too.

 

To her a gay man going out for drinks with her man might be on the same level as a girl doing the same.

 

It's complicated.

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