poindimie Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I have been seeing this guy for about 2 months now. It was going well until one day he told me he couldnt have sex with anyone, and then was distant from me for 3 weeks (didnt see him for 4 until today). He was freindly on the phone and reiterated he didnt want to just be freinds the 2 or 3 times when I asked, and said he was busy with work (but never made any suggestions of other times we could see each other). I since found out that he was lying when he told me he could not have sex (he was quite active prior to when we met), I tried to be understanding and not make a big issue over it. The truth is that it supports my assumptions built over 4 weeks of not seeing him that he is scared off a bit. I think when he thought I was angry or hurt he made effort to see me, so he dosen't want to break up - but I still feel like he is hesitant or even disinterested, so tonight I sent him a message; "Hey I didnt get to tell you today, but you can always feel comfortable talking and being open to me about anything. if you didnt feel right with things dont be afraid to tell me! Its totally cool, ill always listen to you and you can count on me even as a freind. Im just saying this in case you didtn want to have sex with me or see me much becuase youre not sure of what you want or just arent that into it, which is really ok, you can talk to me about it. A lot of mind games were played between **** (first and last boyfreind before we met) and I, and he was dedicated for only about 2 of the 7 months i saw him before he went off with his ex-girlfreind, so nowadays im just very cautious and try to take any hints. Im sorry for being wierd about it, I hope you can understand." Would you think I were a psycho if you received that? Im trying to be open and honest with him, as I don't think he knows i feel this way and I may have come off as clingy in the last few weeks and pushed him away, and I would like to clear things up. Would this push someone away more?
JS17 Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I would be interested to hear what the guys have to say about this. It's probably something I would do....and probably have said similar things.
Art_Critic Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 He is thinking things through .. there is most likely someone else that is confused about in his life. ie: An Ex or a New girl.. He is witholding sex because he isn't sure who he wants to be intimate with. A one woman guy..
Author poindimie Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 yeah...he has reassured me multiple times when ive asked if he would say if he wanted to just be freinds with me, so I think it may becoming annoying if that is the case. Im just worried that if everything is in fact ok, and he is just busy and not the clingy type, that this text would drive him away.
april Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by poindimie A lot of mind games were played between **** (first and last boyfreind before we met) and I, and he was dedicated for only about 2 of the 7 months i saw him before he went off with his ex-girlfreind I don't get it Originally posted by poindimie on July 19th 2005 Well, thing is I'm gay so my whole life I have had to supress my feelings. So I guess I have been looking for someone I can just be open with and not worry about treading on egg shells with. It's not really about the sex, it's more about the intimacy and closeness factor. I just worry that there will always be this wall there... I'm starting to think maybe he has something like HIV. In that case, I wish he'd tell me but I can understand why he would be hesitant to say in fear of scaring me off. It must have been something pretty bad that happened as whilst he is quite shy in some ways about sex, in others he is open (he's no prude). Then again it could be a moral thing. Its very strange.
Author poindimie Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 ^^ Yep, thats right...he ran off with his ex-girlfriend! And this post-dredging scares me! Stalkers! :-p By the way, we broke up. I could see it coming. He had too much work and couldnt give me enough time, Im very sad. People like him are very hard to find
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