Running into Ex and New Boyfriend Now Inevitable -- How to handle?

[jackofmany]

How are things Jack

 

usa1ah . . . I know you were of the mind to write her and tell her to back off. I still see the wisdom of that. And I still don't want to really interact. But there is a part of me (perhaps not a particularly smart part) that has been letting radio silence be the message.

 

This leads to things like the above, clearly, but I haven't there is a part of me that doesn't mind just letting her wonder.

 

Also, to answer one of your earlier questions, yes, she was that good in bed. Maybe it's shallow, but I am not inexperienced and that was something else. Not enough to sacrifice my self-respect, but it was some next level stuff.

Edited November 14, 2017 by jackofmany

[usa1ah]

usa1ah . . . I know you were of the mind to write her and tell her to back off. I still see the wisdom of that. And I still don't want to really interact. But there is a part of me (perhaps not a particularly smart part) that has been letting radio silence be the message.

 

This leads to things like the above, clearly, but I haven't there is a part of me that doesn't mind just letting her wonder.

 

Also, to answer one of your earlier questions, yes, she was that good in bed. Maybe it's shallow, but I am not inexperienced and that was something else. Not enough to sacrifice my self-respect, but it was some next level stuff.

 

The problem with radio silence is that you can’t explain there is a no physical or any other contact rule between the two of you. The silent treatment is not working apparently or she wouldn’t be showing up at your restaurant.

 

I would have handled the restaurant differently though, even if it killed me to do so. Your friend knew what was up, you should have enjoyed yourself with her and not ran away. I’m pretty sure she would have helped you through it.

 

You need to stop running and when you see her remember, she is not who you thought she was. She is a low life cheater who has no regard for the ones she hurts. Be angry then indifferent towards her. Her beauty is only skin deep.

[jackofmany]

Well, I hear you on the idea of not running away at the restaurant. However, even though my friend who I was with did know what was up, she was not too keen on running into her either.

 

On some levels that's just as well, as she is a spitfire and god only know what she might have said.

 

My hope is that the getaway was clean and that she never even knew I was there. If that's the case, then I'm fine with it. Had she already been sitting down, or known I was there, I'd have gutted it out, though there would have been some awkwardness.

[Chi townD]

Okay, dude. You only dated for two months. That's a drop in the bucket compared to others. Now, I'm not trying to minimize your pain. But, you need to start thinking with your head and not your heart.

 

1. She did you wrong. Plain and simple. Dropped you for another guy. And if she could do that so effortlessly, she's showing you who she really is.

 

2. The "I've been thinking about you and I miss you text". They decided that she was going to move back there. One thing MOST girls hate is thinking that there's someone on this planet that doesn't think that they are a good person or that someone on this planet hates them. So, she sent a breadcrumb to see if this is the case. Bravo to you for not answering.

 

3. If she could do this to you within 60 days, then she was talking to this dude the whole time and finally decided to curb you for this dude. Therefore, she was cheating on you this whole time! Either emotionally cheating, physically cheating or both! Bottomline? She was never dedicated to you.

 

4. So, if she was never dedicated to you, why are you hung up on a girl that treated you like dirt!

 

So, you need to start thinking logically about this whole trainwreck and what it was. And Thank your lucky stars it was only 2 months versus 2 YEARS! You dodged a bullet my friend. And trust me on this, there are girls out there that know how to treat their men right! My grandfather once gave me some great advice. You treat the right girl with just three things. Kindness, love and respect and she's going to give that back to you and a HELL of a lot more!

[kgcolonel]

Okay, dude. You only dated for two months. That's a drop in the bucket compared to others. Now, I'm not trying to minimize your pain. But, you need to start thinking with your head and not your heart.

 

1. She did you wrong. Plain and simple. Dropped you for another guy. And if she could do that so effortlessly, she's showing you who she really is.

 

2. The "I've been thinking about you and I miss you text". They decided that she was going to move back there. One thing MOST girls hate is thinking that there's someone on this planet that doesn't think that they are a good person or that someone on this planet hates them. So, she sent a breadcrumb to see if this is the case. Bravo to you for not answering.

 

3. If she could do this to you within 60 days, then she was talking to this dude the whole time and finally decided to curb you for this dude. Therefore, she was cheating on you this whole time! Either emotionally cheating, physically cheating or both! Bottomline? She was never dedicated to you.

 

4. So, if she was never dedicated to you, why are you hung up on a girl that treated you like dirt!

 

So, you need to start thinking logically about this whole trainwreck and what it was. And Thank your lucky stars it was only 2 months versus 2 YEARS! You dodged a bullet my friend. And trust me on this, there are girls out there that know how to treat their men right! My grandfather once gave me some great advice. You treat the right girl with just three things. Kindness, love and respect and she's going to give that back to you and a HELL of a lot more!

 

Awesome post here Chi-Town!!!

[jackofmany]

Okay, dude. You only dated for two months. That's a drop in the bucket compared to others. Now, I'm not trying to minimize your pain. But, you need to start thinking with your head and not your heart.

 

1. She did you wrong. Plain and simple. Dropped you for another guy. And if she could do that so effortlessly, she's showing you who she really is.

 

2. The "I've been thinking about you and I miss you text". They decided that she was going to move back there. One thing MOST girls hate is thinking that there's someone on this planet that doesn't think that they are a good person or that someone on this planet hates them. So, she sent a breadcrumb to see if this is the case. Bravo to you for not answering.

 

3. If she could do this to you within 60 days, then she was talking to this dude the whole time and finally decided to curb you for this dude. Therefore, she was cheating on you this whole time! Either emotionally cheating, physically cheating or both! Bottomline? She was never dedicated to you.

 

4. So, if she was never dedicated to you, why are you hung up on a girl that treated you like dirt!

 

So, you need to start thinking logically about this whole trainwreck and what it was. And Thank your lucky stars it was only 2 months versus 2 YEARS! You dodged a bullet my friend. And trust me on this, there are girls out there that know how to treat their men right! My grandfather once gave me some great advice. You treat the right girl with just three things. Kindness, love and respect and she's going to give that back to you and a HELL of a lot more!

 

Chi-Town you got some laser vision for someone so far away.

 

I think you are right on every count. There is some wiggle room in the she cheated on you department, just in the sense that we did have one converstation where we agreed if you meet someone else, then you do. I can't say that didn't happen. But either way, you are generally right.

 

Since you see with such clear vision, I am curious about that text from last night, the one with "You're beautiful . . . I think of you every day . . . blah blah blah."

 

The timing of that had been strange to me, because she must have sent it to me from that restaurant that I go to, a place she knew she might run into me. Now, thinking about what you said about her previous text, a thought which had occured to me too, I wonder about this interpretation of the more recent one:

 

She knew she might run into me there. She also may have been with her dude there. So it was a pre-emptive strike. A way to lure me into saying, "It was nice seeing you too," and then whatever gravy I might have thrown on top of that, like "I think of you and am grateful too." Or whatever. A way for her to wrap the possibility of us all running into each other in a context she defined.

 

What do you think?

 

And the thing about it only being two months, and the relative pain associated with it, I get that too. As time goes by I see this more and more in terms of ego, when it comes to how long I have been suffering. I have had harsh breakups from much longer relationships, and I have gone through these feelings before. They always end, and they usually have ended by now. Like I said, I am friends with most of those exes.

 

This difference is this: They did not genuinely do me wrong. They did not embarrass me in public. In short, they did not crush my ego so badly. I think that is the part of me that is still upset. Too much pride.

 

I think I am hung up on how it went down and the depth of rejection it made me feel, not her.

 

She's just the instrument of it. Beautiful as she is, and as much as she has my number, trust is impossible. I am not looking to get her back. There is just a way in which -- pride motivated -- I do not want her to have the satisfaction of knowing she still has an effect on me.

 

That day will come. It hasn't yet, but it will.

Edited November 15, 2017 by jackofmany

[jackofmany]

So I wrote up a potential reply. It's probably too long, and no doubt shot through with the skewed perspective of the heartbroken, but its this. I would appreciate any opinions:

 

Ex,

 

With all due respect, it wasn’t real. When you dropped all that information on me in such a short time, I had no time to process it. I have had that time now, and we see things differently. There is no judgment there. I do think you are a good person, but when it comes to me, you ****ed up.

 

Actions speak way louder than words, and I don’t care what kind of conversation we had in San Francisco. You knew something was going on with (your ex), and it had to have been going on way longer than you were honest with me about. It could be that you were hiding it from yourself, and therefore were hiding it from me unconsciously. But that is not my problem. You were hiding it from me. And it became conscious after your birthday.

 

I asked you when you told me (your ex) was out there whether or not there was something deeper there. You said no. We talked on the phone while you were in that very hotel you slept with him in and you still said nothing. You sent me pictures saying, “Just a reminder. I love you,” after the fact. You came back and apologized and asked to stay here, repeatedly. These are actions.

 

I want to say again, I think you are a good person. I don’t judge you for going after your happiness. I do want you to be happy.

 

I am glad things ended, for you and for me. Whatever that was, I don’t want.

 

I’ve thought too about how we have interacted in the brief time that you’ve been back. I think a hug was appropriate the first time we saw each other. Though the reasons may be different, we did matter in one another’s lives and its right to acknowledge that. But for now, I think just being cool around each other at an arm’s distance is good enough.

 

You do not have an enemy in me. But you and me, we have reached a separate peace, and there is nothing wrong with that. Hide less from yourself, and you will hide less from others.

 

It could have been different, but its not. We are not friends. I do however wish you all the best of luck.

 

Later.

Edited November 15, 2017 by jackofmany

[usa1ah]

So I wrote up a potential reply. It's probably too long, and no doubt shot through with the skewed perspective of the heartbroken, but its this. I would appreciate any opinions:

 

Ex,

 

With all due respect, it wasn’t real. When you dropped all that information on me in such a short time, I had no time to process it. I have had that time now, and we see things differently. There is no judgment there. I do think you are a good person, but when it comes to me, you ****ed up.

 

Actions speak way louder than words, and I don’t care what kind of conversation we had in San Francisco. You knew something was going on with (your ex), and it had to have been going on way longer than you were honest with me about. It could be that you were hiding it from yourself, and therefore were hiding it from me unconsciously. But that is not my problem. You were hiding it from me. And it became conscious after your birthday.

 

I asked you when you told me (your ex) was out there whether or not there was something deeper there. You said no. We talked on the phone while you were in that very hotel you slept with him in and you still said nothing. You sent me pictures saying, “Just a reminder. I love you,” after the fact. You came back and apologized and asked to stay here, repeatedly. These are actions.

 

I want to say again, I think you are a good person. I don’t judge you for going after your happiness. I do want you to be happy.

 

I am glad things ended, for you and for me. Whatever that was, I don’t want.

 

I’ve thought too about how we have interacted in the brief time that you’ve been back. I think a hug was appropriate the first time we saw each other. Though the reasons may be different, we did matter in one another’s lives and its right to acknowledge that. But for now, I think just being cool around each other at an arm’s distance is good enough.

 

You do not have an enemy in me. But you and me, we have reached a separate peace, and there is nothing wrong with that. Hide less from yourself, and you will hide less from others.

 

It could have been different, but its not. We are not friends. I do however wish you all the best of luck.

 

Later.

 

Remove everything in bold.

[usa1ah]

Keep anything that can stroke her ego out.

 

Keep your pride, remember you did nothing wrong in this. It was her that did all of it.

[HiCrunchy]

Don't reply. Just block her number and delete.

Move on, with the way she treated you she doesn't deserve your attention or even your friendship.

The more you give her the cold shoulder, she will get the message that she shouldn't be contacting you.

 

If you do want to send her a message:

 

Hey,

I no longer wish to be in contact with you.

I will be blocking your number and please don't speak to me in public.

Please respect my wishes. Thank you.

 

This will teach her a better lesson, more than anything in that long response will.

[Highndry]

Don't reply. Just block her number and delete.

Move on, with the way she treated you she doesn't deserve your attention or even your friendship.

The more you give her the cold shoulder, she will get the message that she shouldn't be contacting you.

 

If you do want to send her a message:

 

Hey,

I no longer wish to be in contact with you.

I will be blocking your number and please don't speak to me in public.

Please respect my wishes. Thank you.

 

This will teach her a better lesson, more than anything in that long response will.

 

Yep. That long-winded letter is best relegated to the "drafts" folder in the computer or phone, to be read later by yourself then deleted. She doesn't deserve any of that, and you're only showing her you're still emotionally invested in, and acutely aware of, the details of the past you two shared. Don't give her that satisfaction. The cold, brief version HiCrunchy has drafted is much better.

[Been]

Guess what? SHE ISNT A GOOD PERSON.

Do not respond. She is a waste of your time and to be honest she doesn't deserve any response.

She basically monkey branched you and your telling what a good person she is?

My ex tried this. We can be "friends". She still cares. Friends DONT hurt or lie to their friends. They watch out for them. If she couldn't be a decent girlfriend how is she going to be a good friend?

[Chi townD]

 

Since you see with such clear vision, I am curious about that text from last night, the one with "You're beautiful . . . I think of you every day . . . blah blah blah."

 

The timing of that had been strange to me, because she must have sent it to me from that restaurant that I go to, a place she knew she might run into me. Now, thinking about what you said about her previous text, a thought which had occured to me too, I wonder about this interpretation of the more recent one:

 

She knew she might run into me there. She also may have been with her dude there. So it was a pre-emptive strike. A way to lure me into saying, "It was nice seeing you too," and then whatever gravy I might have thrown on top of that, like "I think of you and am grateful too." Or whatever. A way for her to wrap the possibility of us all running into each other in a context she defined.

 

 

 

This difference is this: They did not genuinely do me wrong. They did not embarrass me in public. In short, they did not crush my ego so badly. I think that is the part of me that is still upset. Too much pride.

 

Okay, you may not think that they did you wrong. But, she dumped you for another guy. Girls almost never leave the nest unless that already have another one ready to move into. Meaning, that they already have another relationship to move onto or they already have a support network in place for when they pull the trigger. But, bottomline, she left you for another person. That hurts and it hurts bad. Therefore, you don't do that to the people that you care about. Hence, it's wrong.

 

Well, there's so many variables to your story. Why she was at the restaurant that you frequent often with the new guy? Maybe to rub your face in it. But, I like to think that sometimes our Ex's want us to see the other person because they are under the delusion that if you met the other person, you wouldn't think that they are so bad. I can't tell you the stories I've heard of Ex's saying, "You know, he's a really nice guy. I think you would like him if you met him."

 

Another thing to factor in is that our Ex's want us to be cool with them to ease their own guilt. Our Ex's already know they're going to end the relationship long before they actually pull the trigger. So, they've already started to pull away and mourn the loss of the relationship and you. So, when they actually pull the trigger, they are leaps and bounds ahead in the healing process when they break up with us. That's why they always look confused or hurt when we don't respond well to the "I hope we can still be friends" line they usually use. Because they've healed up to the point where they only view you as a friend. And they are confused on why you wouldn't want to be.

 

Now with the texting. Sometimes our Ex's don't want us, but they don't want anybody else having us either. So, she tries to keep you on the hook. Or she may not be too sure on this dude. I mean, I think you mentioned that this dude was her Ex? Well, if this is the case, our Ex's are our Ex's for a reason. So, she's pulling on the leash to make sure the dog is still there. If the dog is gone...she goes looking for the dog. Thus, keeping you on the sidelines. But, how is that even remotely fair to you?

[jackofmany]

Oh, I don't have any doubt SHE did me wrong. I meant my other exes, the one who I am still friends with. Sure, there was pain in those breakups, but they weren't like this.

 

The other guy, I barely know him, but I doubt she cares if I meet him. He seems like a good guy by most account of mutual friends. This is one of those situations me and my ex move in the same social circle to some degree. I am not even sure she was there with him. But the timing of the text is still odd; it came in right when I would normally have been headed there.

 

What is messing with my head is the "I think about you every day" part, because of course that's exactly what I want to hear. The "It was real and I'm grateful for that" part I don't like so much, because of the past tense, and it seeming like she is trolling for me to say something similar, to get a positive sense of closure from me, which I don't think I am willing to give.

 

To be embarrasingly honest, she did a pretty good job of messing with my head with this one. It got me thinking of the times when I at least thought we had something real.

[kgcolonel]

Oh, I don't have any doubt SHE did me wrong. I meant my other exes, the one who I am still friends with. Sure, there was pain in those breakups, but they weren't like this.

 

The other guy, I barely know him, but I doubt she cares if I meet him. He seems like a good guy by most account of mutual friends. This is one of those situations me and my ex move in the same social circle to some degree. I am not even sure she was there with him. But the timing of the text is still odd; it came in right when I would normally have been headed there.

 

What is messing with my head is the "I think about you every day" part, because of course that's exactly what I want to hear. The "It was real and I'm grateful for that" part I don't like so much, because of the past tense, and it seeming like she is trolling for me to say something similar, to get a positive sense of closure from me, which I don't think I am willing to give.

 

To be embarrasingly honest, she did a pretty good job of messing with my head with this one. It got me thinking of the times when I at least thought we had something real.

 

 

Jack, I was in a similar situation as you several years ago....she is saying that she's thinking about you everyday and the "it was real" comment is nothing more than trying to relieve her guilt on her part. She's not looking to get back or to make you feel better, she has proven that it is all about her and her alone. It may be masked by the sweet and kind personality but her actions speak louder than her "texts" or "hugs". She's doing this for her.

 

Also, I do disagree with earlier poster in that the heads up you're getting is helping you to maintain or at least to begin to establish a NC. You really need this...you should go ahead and block her so that the texts and calls don't hinder your healing. You'll also begin to see her for what she is and for what she's done.

 

JMTCs

[jackofmany]

Jack, I was in a similar situation as you several years ago....she is saying that she's thinking about you everyday and the "it was real" comment is nothing more than trying to relieve her guilt on her part. She's not looking to get back or to make you feel better, she has proven that it is all about her and her alone. It may be masked by the sweet and kind personality but her actions speak louder than her "texts" or "hugs". She's doing this for her.

 

Also, I do disagree with earlier poster in that the heads up you're getting is helping you to maintain or at least to begin to establish a NC. You really need this...you should go ahead and block her so that the texts and calls don't hinder your healing. You'll also begin to see her for what she is and for what she's done.

 

JMTCs

 

This strikes me as accurate, and thankfully I fought off the urge to reply. It is pretty selfish when it comes down to it, if not a little mean in a strange way, her text.

 

What it does for her is alleviate guilt. What it does for me is tug me backwards from acceptance. And it was very effective at that. It may be necessary, as usa1ah, suggested to let her know I am not interested in any form of contact at all. I'm mulling that over.

 

What stops me from doing that is I feel like any show of strong emotion from me lets her know she still has power over me, and whether its selfish on my part or not, I don't want to give her that. And if she is feeling guilty enough now to be sending me that text, then good.

 

She should feel guilty. This is a woman who no one ignores. She is beautiful, funny, and smart. Men fall all over themselves for her. One thing I have never done is that. I didn't pursue her in the first place, and I'm not going to now.

 

When you were in this situation, did you go totally NC? For how long? My head is telling me it may be necessary in this case to go NC forever. Unless I get to the point where she means absollutely nothing to me. I realize every situation is different, but I'm curious did you ever make it to total indifference?

Edited November 16, 2017 by jackofmany

[Fever of love]

So I wrote up a potential reply. It's probably too long, and no doubt shot through with the skewed perspective of the heartbroken, but its this. I would appreciate any opinions:

 

Ex,

 

With all due respect, it wasn’t real. When you dropped all that information on me in such a short time, I had no time to process it. I have had that time now, and we see things differently. There is no judgment there. I do think you are a good person, but when it comes to me, you ****ed up.

 

Actions speak way louder than words, and I don’t care what kind of conversation we had in San Francisco. You knew something was going on with (your ex), and it had to have been going on way longer than you were honest with me about. It could be that you were hiding it from yourself, and therefore were hiding it from me unconsciously. But that is not my problem. You were hiding it from me. And it became conscious after your birthday.

 

I asked you when you told me (your ex) was out there whether or not there was something deeper there. You said no. We talked on the phone while you were in that very hotel you slept with him in and you still said nothing. You sent me pictures saying, “Just a reminder. I love you,” after the fact. You came back and apologized and asked to stay here, repeatedly. These are actions.

 

I want to say again, I think you are a good person. I don’t judge you for going after your happiness. I do want you to be happy.

 

I am glad things ended, for you and for me. Whatever that was, I don’t want.

 

I’ve thought too about how we have interacted in the brief time that you’ve been back. I think a hug was appropriate the first time we saw each other. Though the reasons may be different, we did matter in one another’s lives and its right to acknowledge that. But for now, I think just being cool around each other at an arm’s distance is good enough.

 

You do not have an enemy in me. But you and me, we have reached a separate peace, and there is nothing wrong with that. Hide less from yourself, and you will hide less from others.

 

It could have been different, but its not. We are not friends. I do however wish you all the best of luck.

 

Later.

 

IMO DO NOT SEND. It's really a letter to yourself. I should know, I write enough of them.

[HumanMachine]

So I wrote up a potential reply. It's probably too long, and no doubt shot through with the skewed perspective of the heartbroken, but its this. I would appreciate any opinions:

 

Ex,

 

With all due respect, it wasn’t real. When you dropped all that information on me in such a short time, I had no time to process it. I have had that time now, and we see things differently. There is no judgment there. I do think you are a good person, but when it comes to me, you ****ed up.

 

Actions speak way louder than words, and I don’t care what kind of conversation we had in San Francisco. You knew something was going on with (your ex), and it had to have been going on way longer than you were honest with me about. It could be that you were hiding it from yourself, and therefore were hiding it from me unconsciously. But that is not my problem. You were hiding it from me. And it became conscious after your birthday.

 

I asked you when you told me (your ex) was out there whether or not there was something deeper there. You said no. We talked on the phone while you were in that very hotel you slept with him in and you still said nothing. You sent me pictures saying, “Just a reminder. I love you,” after the fact. You came back and apologized and asked to stay here, repeatedly. These are actions.

 

I want to say again, I think you are a good person. I don’t judge you for going after your happiness. I do want you to be happy.

 

I am glad things ended, for you and for me. Whatever that was, I don’t want.

 

I’ve thought too about how we have interacted in the brief time that you’ve been back. I think a hug was appropriate the first time we saw each other. Though the reasons may be different, we did matter in one another’s lives and its right to acknowledge that. But for now, I think just being cool around each other at an arm’s distance is good enough.

 

You do not have an enemy in me. But you and me, we have reached a separate peace, and there is nothing wrong with that. Hide less from yourself, and you will hide less from others.

 

It could have been different, but its not. We are not friends. I do however wish you all the best of luck.

 

Later.

 

Deary me what a load of drivel.

[aliveagain]

Time to stop pain shopping. Leave her in your past where she belongs. She moved to your town with a boyfriend, she is in a relationship, stop doing this to yourself. Silence, crickets, there is nothing you need to explain to her. People that cheat on you make really bad partners. She is not the prize and as long as you think she is you will never meet the woman your supposed to meet because your too focused on her. You will never start the healing process unless you take her out of the forefront of your thinking. Stop thinking of her as someone that dumped you and start thinking of her as someone that cheated on you. The other man got your leftovers, she is not worth the time and effort you are giving her.

 

Every time you think of her automatically think of a big red stop sign in front of her face. Why would you want a cheater back in your life, why would you want to be friends with someone that cheated on you? Cheating on someone is the greatest form of disrespect one person can show another. She needs to become another face in the crowd because this woman is bad girlfriend/wife material. Crickets, crickets, crickets.

[jackofmany]

Deary me what a load of drivel.

 

No kidding. Thank god I didn't send it.

[kgcolonel]

This strikes me as accurate, and thankfully I fought off the urge to reply. It is pretty selfish when it comes down to it, if not a little mean in a strange way, her text.

 

What it does for her is alleviate guilt. What it does for me is tug me backwards from acceptance. And it was very effective at that. It may be necessary, as usa1ah, suggested to let her know I am not interested in any form of contact at all. I'm mulling that over.

 

What stops me from doing that is I feel like any show of strong emotion from me lets her know she still has power over me, and whether its selfish on my part or not, I don't want to give her that. And if she is feeling guilty enough now to be sending me that text, then good.

 

She should feel guilty. This is a woman who no one ignores. She is beautiful, funny, and smart. Men fall all over themselves for her. One thing I have never done is that. I didn't pursue her in the first place, and I'm not going to now.

 

When you were in this situation, did you go totally NC? For how long? My head is telling me it may be necessary in this case to go NC forever. Unless I get to the point where she means absollutely nothing to me. I realize every situation is different, but I'm curious did you ever make it to total indifference?

 

Hi Jack

 

When i was in this situation the relationship was out of balance and i did all the wrong things. I tried the friends thing and it was too painful to acknowledge their relationship. What worked for me was to simply never acknowledge her presence. The last straw was her attempt to draw me back in by offering to leave her Fiance and come back to me. This allowed me to see who and what she really was that she'd do that to her F. I also happen to believe that she was preggers at that moment. I told her she needed to go back to her F and leave me alone.

 

I did hear from / about her a few times later but it never had the same meaning as before.

 

I strongly suggest you go NC and do not even acknowledge her presence....it is about your need to heal and put her behind you. Don't worry about her or what it looks like as she wasn't too worried about you or your feelings. If someone asks you about it, tell them the truth....she backstabbed you and left you to die....emotionally of course.

[HumanMachine]

No kidding. Thank god I didn't send it.

 

Good decision mate. Stay strong.

[jackofmany]

This is a possibility, but the night in question is already several days ago, Friday night. So, not sure that would make sense. Maybe it would. Curious on anyone's opinion.

 

I think I have decided to do nothing for now. I don't like the fact that she probably feels like she did me a favor by saying things like you're beautiful, and etc . . . and especiallly the "it was real" part.

 

I think she thinks what she did was generous, despite the fact that it was actually kind of insulting. I'm not going to send that piece of drivel I quoted above. I'm just going to play it by ear for a while, continue to avoid the encounters I can, and let her wonder what I think.

 

She has to be at least wondering that, or she wouldn't have sent the text. So let her. I'll get over this and there may be an occasion in the future where I do tell her how I felt during this time, but for as long as she has power over me, I am not going to feed it.

 

If she keeps it up, that will change things. But -- with a TON of help from you guys -- I have come to the conclusion that I am going to do the one thing she can't stand, and that is ignore her.

[Marc878]

Why haven't you blocked her. Nothing but breadcrumbs.