Bekki47 Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 so me and my partner fell out over the weekend he totally blanked me all day Sunday and switched his phone off then Monday he comes and meets me from work to talk and says that he switched it off because he didn't want to talk to anyone and he wanted to experience what life would be like for both of us without each other for a day then he goes on to say he doesn't want to break up with me but we can't keep arguing but he's not going to be coming to my house at weekends for the foreseeable he has been the last 10 months as he doesn't like the way I do things at my house ie having the dog sit on the sofa and how he cant watch what he wants on tv and other things he moans about so now we gotta meet out. I feel quite offended about this he's been coming round over 10 months and now wants to take a step backwards. it's kinda put me off and think what's the point
Miss Spider Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 (edited) I'm not asking to be critical, just genuinely curious. You guys never have a day where you aren't together or talking? I can imagine that driving people mad and causing them to argue even if they are the best of friends. Maybe he is angry right now and needs some space. I think you both could use some space. Then when things cool off you guys can have a rational discussion about coming over on weekends etc Edited October 10, 2017 by Cookiesandough
PegNosePete Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 I feel quite offended about this he's been coming round over 10 months and now wants to take a step backwards. Yes, I agree. Relationships are meant to move forward, not backwards. It would make me question what future he (and you) see in this relationship? If he is still playing childish "turn my phone off" games then that's another problem.
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 When I met my bf, him and I had different ideas on how to manage a pet in a home. He loved dogs but from a distance, to him dogs should live outside. To me dogs are part of my daily life, I want my dog with me, sitting next to me on the couch, following me around when possible. This is who I am, you take it or you leave it. My bf asked if it's possible to keep my dog off my bed, I said sure! I can compromise on that. We are now 2 years later and we never fight about my dog. In my living room I have an armoire full of blankets for the couch. When my bf comes home he gets a clean blanket from that armoire and put it on the couch so this way he's not sitting on dog's hair. When you met 10 months ago did you try to make compromise? Did you negotiate what would be good for the both of you in your home? Or you've been fighting about your dog for 10 months? If it's just been fighting about your dog for 10 months then break up. Being a dog owner is a life style. It's a responsibility you'll have for 13-14 years. The person with you need to understand this and be on board with you otherwise you don't date them. Blocking you without warning you first he needs time off is cruel and manipulative. You should break up just for that alone. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 Blocking you without warning you first he needs time off is cruel and manipulative. You should break up just for that alone. They were fighting and it's one day?!?!? One day? This kind of stuff makes relationships sound so suffocating 1
Author Bekki47 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Posted October 10, 2017 it's only really become an issue now...I guess he feels comfortable to bring these things up now but he's starting to moan about little things and now telling me he's not coming round because if them
Author Bekki47 Posted October 10, 2017 Author Posted October 10, 2017 the thing that annoys me the most is when we do argue he will either do what he did at the weekend and switch his phone of for 24hrs or cut me off completely block and delete me saying we are done I just want to talk things through and sort it.
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 I am sensing you two are discovering incompatibility. This is why a lot of people fight after about the 6 month mark when the honeymoon stage is over. Maybe you two are just too different, and this is a sign that the relationship has ran it's course. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 I agree with Smacky. You guys seem incompatible?. Maybe it is always been this way. Now that the initial googly eyes have faded these incompatibilities are more problematic and you guys pick on each other. Your 'conflict resolution' styles clash too. Not everyone likes to talk things out when mad or upset 1
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 the thing that annoys me the most is when we do argue he will either do what he did at the weekend and switch his phone of for 24hrs or cut me off completely block and delete me saying we are done I just want to talk things through and sort it. He's giving you the silent treatment. It's pure manipulation meant to take revenge on you. Only emotionally immature people use the silent treatment. Anyone with a bit of integrity and self-respect would simply indicate to the other person he's in need of some time alone BEFORE closing his/her phone. YOU are responsible for what you allow into your life.
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 They were fighting and it's one day?!?!? One day? This kind of stuff makes relationships sound so suffocating You cannot threaten someone of a break up and block them each time the going gets tough! You speak up! You ask for time alone to think but you don't use silent treatment and blackmail. Not even for 1 day, no. 2
Miss Spider Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 You cannot threaten someone of a break up and block them each time the going gets tough! You speak up! You ask for time alone to think but you don't use silent treatment and blackmail. Not even for 1 day, no. I see. I agree threatening to break up is immature. But I can see someone getting mad and snapping if Bekki is like nonstop arguing' or in her view trying to work things out. I never saw turning off phone as that bad but I see
coolheadal Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 so me and my partner fell out over the weekend he totally blanked me all day Sunday and switched his phone off then Monday he comes and meets me from work to talk and says that he switched it off because he didn't want to talk to anyone and he wanted to experience what life would be like for both of us without each other for a day then he goes on to say he doesn't want to break up with me but we can't keep arguing but he's not going to be coming to my house at weekends for the foreseeable he has been the last 10 months as he doesn't like the way I do things at my house ie having the dog sit on the sofa and how he cant watch what he wants on tv and other things he moans about so now we gotta meet out. I feel quite offended about this he's been coming round over 10 months and now wants to take a step backwards. it's kinda put me off and think what's the point Simple buy an additional UDTV 50 or higher. For him to watch his shows. Without you and your dog on the couch/sofa/lazy boy chair. That is what you like to do have the dog with you. He has to understand that but get him his own TV so he can watch what he wants too. Your hogging up the TV for your own self and not giving anyone a chance to watch something else. Listen everyone likes to fight/argue I am not doing.. It's peach or nothing said...
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 I see. I agree threatening to break up is immature. But I can see someone getting mad and snapping if Bekki is like nonstop arguing' or in her view trying to work things out. I never saw turning off phone as that bad but I see What is wrong is him not warning her will turn his phone off. If he needs time to think, if he expressed so and she won't leave him alone THEN yes, all he needs to say is Bekki I am turning my phone off right now, I will speak to you again Monday. I need this time off. Then he turns his phone off. 1
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 Simple buy an additional UDTV 50 or higher. For him to watch his shows. Without you and your dog on the couch/sofa/lazy boy chair. That is what you like to do have the dog with you. He has to understand that but get him his own TV so he can watch what he wants too. Your hogging up the TV for your own self and not giving anyone a chance to watch something else. Listen everyone likes to fight/argue I am not doing.. It's peach or nothing said... I don't know about that coolheadal. A 50'' inch tv? That cost like $1,000 over here. For a boyfriend of 10 months? that blocks and threaten me? Again it's called compromise. I only have 1 TV. My bf is European so he's soccer crazy. I could not care less about soccer but I let him watch it. That's called compromise. I read once that when you get a second TV that's when your relationship reach the end. You're never together, you're both in your rooms watching your favorite shows.
knabe Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 the thing that annoys me the most is when we do argue he will either do what he did at the weekend and switch his phone of for 24hrs or cut me off completely block and delete me saying we are done I just want to talk things through and sort it. Yes, this is manipulative and childish, and quite frankly it is something that a 13 year old girl would do! And no...do NOT buy him a TV! Good grief!
LovelyRose Posted October 10, 2017 Posted October 10, 2017 so me and my partner fell out over the weekend he totally blanked me all day Sunday and switched his phone off then Monday he comes and meets me from work to talk and says that he switched it off because he didn't want to talk to anyone and he wanted to experience what life would be like for both of us without each other for a day then he goes on to say he doesn't want to break up with me but we can't keep arguing but he's not going to be coming to my house at weekends for the foreseeable he has been the last 10 months as he doesn't like the way I do things at my house ie having the dog sit on the sofa and how he cant watch what he wants on tv and other things he moans about so now we gotta meet out. I feel quite offended about this he's been coming round over 10 months and now wants to take a step backwards. it's kinda put me off and think what's the point Why can't you go to his place sometimes? But whatever your reason may be, it doesn't even matter. This relationship is super toxic. I read your other two threads about this guy. He has a habit of breaking up with you and he was chatting with his ex wanting to meet up, etc. This guy doesn't care about you and treats you like $hit. I'm not really usually advising people to leave and run away, but in your case I would say RUN! Have some self worth and love yourself first. You've been chasing this guy for a while now. If he just needed some time alone and space, switching his phone off and blocking you is not necessary. That's way too dramatic and childish. Do you harass him and blow up his phone whenever he needs space? Whatever the case may be, I believe it's time to accept this guy is not the one for you. You may feel like it's hard to move on. But you lived before this toxic guy. You can definitely do it again. Time to focus on yourself and start fresh. Going on and off must be so exhausting and mentally draining. This time you let him go for good. Pull the cord and let this relationship flatline. 1
Author Bekki47 Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 yes I do feel emotionally drained...i have never been to his house because he's says it's not in great condition inside so he doesn't invite anyone round so he's been coming to mines instead but now that's changed. Then tonight we had a chat about out relationship I was telling him about things I'm not happy with and he started shouting and getting wound up saying I'm nagging at him hung up the phone and took our pic down and blocked me and then sent me a text telling me to find myself another man hes had enough have a nice life. its just constant and childish and this happens all the time like i cant tell him how i feel or moan about something cus i know this will be the end.
Miss Spider Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 You've been seeing this guy over 10 months and you've never been to his house? He could be married, dude!?
Author Bekki47 Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 I did think that at first but he's not I go there but sit out side or we just sit in the car...I know he's not married he's ashamed of his place and it's crazy because I don't care about it if anything I'd help him but he won't have it. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 Oh man, is he one of those hoarders. Yeah, but this seems too difficult to make work. You guys seem incompatible and he's not hearing your side let alone making plans to compromise. Frankly he sounds immature,
MajesticUnicorn Posted October 11, 2017 Posted October 11, 2017 Anyone who thinks that giving the silent treatment and randomly turning their phone off for 24 hours with no warning is a good way to deal with problems is not worth being with. That alone in my mind is enough reason to call things off with someone. And that's just the beginning, it seems like there is a compatibility issue. He sounds manipulative and into mind games and you shouldn't put up with it.
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