Is he a bad texter or is he not into me?

[Tbree]

I recently started talking to this guy who I met on a dating app called “Soul Swipe”, which is similar to Tinder. You can only message someone if they like your profile as well. Well he liked my profile and he didn’t message me right away. I’m very shy so I didn’t want to send the first message, so I waited a day and then messaged him. He responded quickly and then after that his replies go slower and slower. He mentioned that he’s very bad at texting and I said that’s fine. However he stopped relying after a while and I was anxious because I wanted to meet up with him before I moved (because I was moving from the area in a couple of days and I wanted to seize the opportunity to see him). I waited and waited and he never responded so I just let it go. He followed me on Instagram and he’d like my pictures, but never made messaged me on there. I kinda got the idea that maybe he wasn’t interested. Fast forward to a couple of days ago, I finally mustered up the courage to message him on instagram (because I literally could not stop thinking about him) and he responded back and asked if I was still in town. I told him that I wasn’t and he replied “Damn I was hoping I could finally ask you out”. I was really upset when he said that, but I did tell him that I have to make a trip back anyway because I have a storage unit there and I’d let him know. We continued to have a casual conversation and he seemed genuinely interested and he responded quickly. I finally gave him my number and he text me and after two responses he stopped texting back. So I waited the next day to hear back from him and he didn’t text me until that night. He also made sure to remind me again that he’s a bad texter. I told him that he can always call if he wants to because I also prefer to talk on the phone or in person. Once again after two texts, he stopped responding. So I waited the next day to hear from him and I just gave up and text him myself and he responded quickly, again. It’s been a day since I’ve spoken to him, but I’ve noticed that he keeps his phone on “do not disturb mode” (because he posted a screenshot on IG) which explains a lot about his habits. I feel like he’s into me, but I also have my doubts because it’s always said that if someone is really into you, they’d make the effort to keep up with you. I also don’t want to come off as needy or too attached because I’m always the one initiating conversation. I’ve been told to just try to call him, but I feel like I’m scared he’d blow me off or not really want to talk to me. I like him a lot and I want to talk to him as much as possible but it’s hard when he’s not much of a texter and we live 2-3 hours away from each other. I don’t know how I can make much of an impression on him if we barely talk. Especially if it seems like I’m the only person making an effort. I thought maybe he’s just shy or because he’s in grad school, he’s too busy? It’s also confusing because he’ll like my picture on Instagram, but won’t text me back. Should I stop overthinking and continue to pursue him? Or just let it go? I don’t want this to be a missed opportunity.

[WonderWoman911]

I honestly think that you should let it go. He has way too many excuses when it comes to communication with him. Just like you mentioned, if he REALLY wants to be involved with you, he would put more effort into reaching out. With all of this phone tag, and you just started talking to him, it'll get more annoying as time goes by. One or two texts,like you said, then you wouldn't hear from him again until days later, is a no go. But also, he may be involved with someone already and only contacts you periodically when it's convenient for him. And his "Do not disturb" can explain that as well. I would say move on and find someone else. Good luck with everything.

[ExpatInItaly]

I wouldn't bother with this guy.

 

A man who really wants to meet you will make more effort to talk to you, and eventually, to meet you. He's too much work for next to no reward.