Springsummer Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 Every time I logon to pof and see all these msgs from those turnoff men, I cringed and depressed. Thinking putting myself out there with all these pics. and any weirdo can just look at you, read your profile makes me feel uneasy. I don't know...what exactly is the perception of society with women putting themselves out there? do we automatically devalue ourselves this way?
Cersei Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 I am kind of at a cross roads with OLD but it may just be my age. (46) Part of me feels it's a desperate attempt at love. But I know that the times have changed and It's the new normal. I hear of successful stories and never think less of people that do it but I personally can't bring myself to post my profile because I don't want creepies and pervs wasting my time. I actually set up an account and searched "hidden" for a guy that way. I sent a few messages and had a few chats but no meet ups. (They could see my profile but only after I contacted them,) I think it is fine as long as you are careful and don't get yourself into predicaments. 1
OatsAndHall Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 I've used OLD off and on for the last few years and it is a hit-or-miss endeavor. But, I don't think a woman is "devaluing" themselves as long as their profile pictures are tasteful and their bio is well-written. I won't message a woman who has a bikini picture in their profile picture or even message someone who's profile is filled with revealing pictures. One picture showing a little bit of leg or cleavage is kosher but that's about it for me. I'm certainly turned off by a woman who bares a lot over the internet. But, it's not just limited to OLD dating; it's in RL as well. An acquaintance from high school got in touch with me via FB a few months ago, was flirty and wanted to meet up for a coffee date. She's a nice enough woman but she is continually posting selfies where she isn't leaving much to the imagination (gym pics with a ton of cleavage, bikini pics, etc..etc..) and I'm just wary of that as it seems like she is seeking attention. 2
Miss Spider Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 More acceptable than it was 10 years ago, but still not acceptable to the point that you're not at least a little embarrassed to tell your friends how you met 2
No_Go Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 Every time I logon to pof and see all these msgs from those turnoff men, I cringed and depressed. Thinking putting myself out there with all these pics. and any weirdo can just look at you, read your profile makes me feel uneasy. I don't know...what exactly is the perception of society with women putting themselves out there? do we automatically devalue ourselves this way? What kind of pics do you put so you feel uneasy? I use the same pics in my professional profiles and OLD, so I don't find my OLD profiles any more exposing than my LinkedIn profile. Also, if you job search online, you don't feel embarrassed, right? But your grandparents were job searching via common contacts etc?! Well, same for OLD. It is just a convenient way to expand your network. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 I have heard people making comments like "Jane wouldn't need OLD, she is far too attractive" and such. So there is still a perception that you are somewhat less desirable if you need OLD to get dates. 1
Author Springsummer Posted October 8, 2017 Author Posted October 8, 2017 What kind of pics do you put so you feel uneasy? I use the same pics in my professional profiles and OLD, so I don't find my OLD profiles any more exposing than my LinkedIn profile. Also, if you job search online, you don't feel embarrassed, right? But your grandparents were job searching via common contacts etc?! Well, same for OLD. It is just a convenient way to expand your network. nothing revealing. just 2 selfies above the neck and 1 whole body from afar . ok, if you put it that way. that makes me feel better:) 1
Author Springsummer Posted October 8, 2017 Author Posted October 8, 2017 I have heard people making comments like "Jane wouldn't need OLD, she is far too attractive" and such. So there is still a perception that you are somewhat less desirable if you need OLD to get dates. yup, I know there is stigma. but I guess I have to do it. I don't know how else to meet people.
grays Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 More acceptable than it was 10 years ago, but still not acceptable to the point that you're not at least a little embarrassed to tell your friends how you met I dunno. I think we may have reached the tipping point. People keep asking me how i met my new guy and when I tell them I met him in a parking lot (ummm, how romantic, lol) the reaction is ALWAYS, "so cool you met him in real life! nobody meets IRL anymore."
rightondude Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 But, it's not just limited to OLD dating; it's in RL as well. An acquaintance from high school got in touch with me via FB a few months ago, was flirty and wanted to meet up for a coffee date. She's a nice enough woman but she is continually posting selfies where she isn't leaving much to the imagination (gym pics with a ton of cleavage, bikini pics, etc..etc..) and I'm just wary of that as it seems like she is seeking attention. Could you send her my way? Thanks man
coolheadal Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 More acceptable than it was 10 years ago, but still not acceptable to the point that you're not at least a little embarrassed to tell your friends how you met Really? Again friends don't live your life you live it. Shouldn't matter how you met the guy in your case that you like so much, just maybe have fallen in love with. Even if you met him outside or from you den laptop still you met someone.
coolheadal Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 Every time I logon to pof and see all these msgs from those turnoff men, I cringed and depressed. Thinking putting myself out there with all these pics. and any weirdo can just look at you, read your profile makes me feel uneasy. I don't know...what exactly is the perception of society with women putting themselves out there? do we automatically devalue ourselves this way? Choices are: 1. Meet stranger outside (park, jogging, riding your bike, walking, walking the dog, etc. 2. Going online using dating sites, face book etc.. 3. Try those you work with at work, ask them out for breakfast or lunch or even early dinner depends on your schedule. For me number 2 works but today I could get by asking someone from a Party this year early on I did that. Just talking to a woman I got her so interested in me she had reached out to me from my friend who hosted the party. But in the end that woman didn't work out she turned out to be way to married and divorce 4 times that's wasn't the issue it was she wasn't stable mentally to even be with. Going with 3 now has worked but it's a slow process because unlike the 2 where you can share stories and talk about what you both had wanted in long-term relationship. From the job and dating takes longer to develop what you could do with 2 than with 1. I just taking it day by day.. Those on 2 well you have to deal with all sorts on there. I am surprise you haven't come across the fake men from Western African yet. Who are only after your hard earn money.
Peachland Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 I've been on OLD off and on for the last 3 years. I just took my profile down today after being up for 3 weeks because I'm tired of messages from people I have nothing in common with and who can't make the effort to string a few sentences together. It seems the quality has deteriorated since the last time I used OLD over a year and half ago. For the time being, I'll be alone or met someone in person. 1
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