SmileEmptySoul Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I went out today with one of my girlfriends and i saw a cut on her arm. I looked in her purse went she went to the bathroom and found a razorblade i. Shes going through alot somethings i dont want to mention. When i hink about this i feel like im going to throw up. I dont understand why shes doing this all the guys go for her and shes beautiful. Im trying to get her to stop im trying to spend time with her. It may not sound very manly of me but when I try and talk to her about it i feel like im going to cry. I dont want her to scar herself up and do this. I was going to take it and keep it and then throw it away but something was telling me not too. I dont know what to do Im not going to tell her parents it would make her more depressed.. I love her as a friend and I would rather take pain then her have it i dont know what to do
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 I dont know what to do Im not going to tell her parents it would make her more depressed.. That is what is called "enabling". By hiding her behavior, you are allowing her to continue doing it. If you were to tell her parents, she would be angry and depressed but... her parents would (hopefully) make sure that she gets the help she REALLY needs.
Author SmileEmptySoul Posted August 16, 2005 Author Posted August 16, 2005 i cant do that its too hard i hope her parents find out for themselves but im going to try and get her to stop i only found out tonight...
lindya Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Are you and your friend at school together? Maybe there's a teacher or counsellor you could approach about this. I think that if you feel unable to talk to her about it without crying, then you're correct to avoid raising the subject with your friend. I think there's a risk that talking to her about an issue like cutting might unleash a disclosure that you aren't mentally prepared to hear. When someone's disclosing something painful, it's very important that the person they're speaking to is able to hear it, cope with it...and control their own feelings so that they're able to remain calm and help their friend manage that overwhelming emotion that so often accompanies difficult disclosures. In other words, you need to be able to see through what you started. There's a lot of skill required in that, which is why it might be best to have a chat with your school counsellor.
Toni_no12002 Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 try talking to her and say that you have noticed thoses cuts on her arm.i used to do it myself so i know what its like.she may deny it at first but talk to her and make sure she knows that ou will listen.whatever you do dont judge her just let her do the talking when shes finished suggest to her that if she ever feels the need to cut herself tell her to ring you and talk to you.self harm is a realease to make thereselves feel better if shes upset about something she may feel it will ease the pain etc.i would suggest try looking for a website about self harm.and then try to help.good luck !
New_Wife Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Your friend has problems. It's hard, when they are emotional, drinking, or drugging problems - because you feel like you're intruding on a friend if you bring it up. If her car had broken down, and you were to help her fix it - it's not the same sort of busting into personal headspace. But, if her car were broken down on the side of the road, to continue with that analogy, and you drove right on by without stopping to help - you'd be a pretty bad friend, right? Most likely this girl has some sort of emotional/psychological problem right now. Stop the car and help, if you can. Bring her with you to the school counselor's office, and lay out for her your fears about her well-being. Most likely the counselor will know where to take it from there. She may be mad at you for revealing her secret - but she may live long enough to be pissed. If she progresses in self-destructive behavior, there's always the chance that she won't.
Author SmileEmptySoul Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 I was with her all day today and found anotherin her purse. I took it and threw it away.She got mad at me but then apologized and said she was glad i did it. She promised me that she would try to stop and im not leaving her. Im with her all day and then i call her at night. I can tell shes going to stop but i dont know when. I dont want to go into much detail because i promised her i wouldnt tell anybody and i feel like im breaking that promise.... You guys really leave me helpful information. Iv considered what each of you told me and im trying my hardest to end it
flyhigh Posted September 8, 2005 Posted September 8, 2005 More than likely she needs more help than you or her family can give her. She is addicted to the pain and does it make sure she's still alive. She needs love ....lotts of it to comfort her. She only cuts at certain times when she feels like dieing. she is a frustrated little girl inside... but she trusts you, so hold her in your arms and give her a hug.... tell her you love her and that you don't want to she her hurt herself anymore. If you feel like crying do it.... it will show her that you really do care.... and that will mean alot to her.
Toni_no12002 Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 hi,when i used to cut myself people always thought it was to kill myself.maybe sometimes i did but that wasnt the reason for cutting.it was because i was hurting so much inside and somehow cutting myself took some of that pain away(like when you get angry and punch someone you feel better!)i used to do it also for punishing myself.i felt that everything was my fault and i deserved to be hurt.i still do it occasionally now.i think the only to solve this is to seek proffesional help.
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