D.r.e Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 I started living with a girl as roomates. We became friends when I went through a break-up and she was struggling with her BF. We started a FWB situation, and she was looking for someone to room with after she broke up with him. At the time, my lease was up, and I needed to move. She said it would be great to live together and I had my doubts. Against my better judgement, I agreed. As the move in date approached, she stopped the benefits part, and went into a bit of depression. I felt guilty that I didn't think it was a good idea to move in with someone I was sleeping with without a relationship. And against all advice, I did it anyway. After a few months of living together, we started sleeping with each other again. It wasn't like we were in a relationship, sometimes she didn't want me to touch her, and she was distant. I began to feel more for her, and when she pulled a way I felt like I was losing something. A few months of her being distant and she told me she wasn't attracted to me, and would never like me and hoped we could be friends. I wasn't ready to make up my mind, and she kept asking to just move past it. So I agreed. Last night she spent the night at her exes, and I feel hurt. I don't think I can remain friends and don't know how to handle this.
smackie9 Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 Tell her to find a new roommate and move out. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 She was using you as an emotional bandaid/security blanket. I can imagine that would be very hurtful. Do not be her friend. That will just prolong your suffering. Cut her off 1
coolheadal Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 Yeah right hope we can be friends is a cop out. No you do not want to be in the friends-zone. No she needs to go right away and take her friend-zone with her out your door! 1
smackie9 Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 She was using you as an emotional bandaid/security blanket. I can imagine that would be very hurtful. Do not be her friend. That will just prolong your suffering. Cut her off Ya it's called a rebound. She bounced right back to her ex. 1
smackie9 Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 Tip: don't start anything with an emotionally unavailable woman.
coolheadal Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 Tip: don't start anything with an emotionally unavailable woman. I agree with this! I must add this.. You slept with her and she told you she was depressed (excuse) You couldn't touch her (excuse). She clearly not into you fully like it would be she's a user of emotion but your not the one she loves to be with you are her door mate she can make you do anything. Stand up for yourself. Is she really worth it my friend, no she's not.. You can always do better than her. 2
smackie9 Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 IMO you stepped in a pile of pooh....time to scrape it off your shoe. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 7, 2017 Posted October 7, 2017 Do you guys share a lease?? How long you're out of your rship vs she?
Author D.r.e Posted October 7, 2017 Author Posted October 7, 2017 Turns out she was lying about the ex, to get a rise out of me so that I would admit that I have feelings for her. We talked and she has feelings for someone else new. It's my lease, it's done in Jan. I can't afford the place on my own. Plus it seems harsh to kick her out. 1
Author D.r.e Posted October 7, 2017 Author Posted October 7, 2017 IMO you stepped in a pile of pooh....time to scrape it off your shoe. Feels like it
coolheadal Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 Turns out she was lying about the ex, to get a rise out of me so that I would admit that I have feelings for her. We talked and she has feelings for someone else new. It's my lease, it's done in Jan. I can't afford the place on my own. Plus it seems harsh to kick her out. Harsh why so she should move out and with the new guy she's seeing. Why would you continue to sleep with her Just so odd to do. Now you stuck. What happens if you want to bring another women in bed with. She has to drop out of sight then. So now she has to stay until the lease runs out knowing you'll never be with her as she already has a new man in her life!
GemmaUK Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 She was fresh out of a relationship and you two were just FWB. You should never have moved in with her, especially not if you thought that at any point you might catch feelings for her. All you can do until January is keep out of each other's way unless your lease states you can sub-let and one of you decides to move out. 2
smackie9 Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 (edited) I think it's perfectly fair to tell her to start looking for a place. That isn't kicking her out.....kicking her out is putting her stuff outside the front door. If it's your lease, you have every right to tell her to move out. Start looking for a new roommate. even if you get a roommate before she leaves, have said person sleep on the couch for a small fee, until she moves her self out. I guaurantee you she will move in with her new BF in a month anyways leaving you high and dry. Edited October 8, 2017 by smackie9
NoLeafClover Posted October 9, 2017 Posted October 9, 2017 You don't sleep with another man's gf or soon to be gf. See what happens
PegNosePete Posted October 9, 2017 Posted October 9, 2017 Turns out she was lying about the ex, to get a rise out of me so that I would admit that I have feelings for her. We talked and she has feelings for someone else new. It's my lease, it's done in Jan. I can't afford the place on my own. Plus it seems harsh to kick her out. Harsh to kick out someone who lies to you just to get a rise out of you so that you'll admit you have feelings? No that is not harsh, it is self preservation and common sense. Don't remain in any way involved with such a petty game playing drama queen. Does she have a sub-lease or is it all just informal? If it's formal then tell her in Jan you'll either be looking for a new roommate or a new place so she should make arrangements. If it's informal and you'd have trouble paying the rent without her, then you might be better off looking for a new roommate before telling her her days are numbered. 1
Recommended Posts