gbe2015 Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 So I've been dating a girl for about a month now. Things were going well except for one thing - her house smells. I have no idea what,where or why it is but I can't stand it. I think it might be the cleaners she uses (she will only use natural chemical free products). She wants me to stay there on weekends but 10 minutes in the house and I need to get outside. I thought I might get used to it but it seems I'm becoming more sensitive to it each time I visit. Do I just tell her point blank what I think? I thought that might not be the best approach since it'll probably put her into a defensive mode and maybe even offend her. Any suggestions?
d0nnivain Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Do speak to her about it. Offer to help her find & eliminate the source of the offensive odor. It should be a little thing; I changed laundry detergent because DH didn't like the girly ones I had been using & I stopped buying aromatic candles because he didn't like them. His preferences about smells was not a rejection of me as a person. 4
Gaeta Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Of course tell her, chose your words wisely. No need to use the word 'stink'. About you go where she keeps her detergent and smell it to confirm it's from that? A lot of things can create smells in a home. Is she cooking very spicy? does she have pets? does she have carpets? 2
GunslingerRoland Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 You get used to any smell fairly soon. I'd just power through it to be honest, unless it's something that is medically irritating.
kendahke Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 So I've been dating a girl for about a month now. Things were going well except for one thing - her house smells. I have no idea what,where or why it is but I can't stand it. I think it might be the cleaners she uses (she will only use natural chemical free products). She wants me to stay there on weekends but 10 minutes in the house and I need to get outside. I thought I might get used to it but it seems I'm becoming more sensitive to it each time I visit. Do I just tell her point blank what I think? I thought that might not be the best approach since it'll probably put her into a defensive mode and maybe even offend her. Any suggestions? What does it smell like--a$$ or a pine forest? Does she entertain often? Does she have friends who hang out with her at her place? Well, then, she's offended, but if you can't stand the smell, why should you put up with it? I think you should tell her that you can't tolerate the smell long enough to enjoy spending the weekends there. 2
OnlyHonesty Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 You've only been dating her for a month. No matter what words you choose, they are unlikely to go down well. Your best course of action is to talk about the smell like an allergy, rather than a stink. That is assuming the smell is her natural cleaners and not a rat beneath the floor boards. 2
Author gbe2015 Posted October 5, 2017 Author Posted October 5, 2017 Thanks for the replies. It's hard to describe the odor as I've never smelled anything like it before ... It's not a chemical type of smell or perfume like smell. I find it very unpleasant and very strong, something I can't ignore. She keeps the place immaculate so I don't think the source is from lack of cleaning. Now that I think about it more I do think it's the cleaner she's using because I smell it everywhere. I'll ask about her to show me the green cleaning products she uses and do a sniff test of them and if I find the culprit say I don't like the smell of that ... and if I can't figure it out I'll just have to man up and tell her 2
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 If it's an apartment it could be from the complex, like a next door meth lab. Please do say something for the love of god, it won't kill your relationship. Speak up. 1
bpb2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 This is the age we live in, where a guy can't tell his date that her apartment smells bad. If you can't tell her about this then good luck solving real problems in the future. Mention it on your next date. If she gets defensive, angry or tries to turn it around on you then you know what to do. 1
bpb2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 If it's an apartment it could be from the complex, like a next door meth lab. Please do say something for the love of god, it won't kill your relationship. Speak up. Of course tell her, chose your words wisely. This guy is probably very used to girls that are very sensitive and easily offended — we all know the type.
Miss Spider Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Babe, I hate to inform you, but your house smells like an open sewer 2
coolheadal Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Thanks for the replies. It's hard to describe the odor as I've never smelled anything like it before ... It's not a chemical type of smell or perfume like smell. I find it very unpleasant and very strong, something I can't ignore. She keeps the place immaculate so I don't think the source is from lack of cleaning. Now that I think about it more I do think it's the cleaner she's using because I smell it everywhere. I'll ask about her to show me the green cleaning products she uses and do a sniff test of them and if I find the culprit say I don't like the smell of that ... and if I can't figure it out I'll just have to man up and tell her Very simple trick you can do is get a ammonia pour it into a small glass dipper then add lavender (purple cleaning base goes under several different names) Once you do that you can buy a few dippers place them in each room of the house. That will kill the order super duper fast. Can be use in the fridge also. Just a small amount will do. Has to be looked at once a week. evaporates then dries up.. I think the odor you describe could be from oil and grease, mold an etc. Does she have rugs, carpet, curtains or dry walls in the house. (Funny people never thought about drywall smelling too) They need to be wipe down as well. I make my own carpet and stain removal shampoo it smells like what you buy for over $20 bucks from Bissell 2X Professional Deep Cleaning Formula. Mine cost me like $6 bucks to make more than 5 gallons worth at the dollar store. Couple of things to make a super duper cleaner. Also does she have dogs, cats or birds in the house. Smells can from the drains also. You might not be able to stand the toxic smell. In her house.
in_patient Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 From what you're describing, it sounds like something you're sensitive to rather than anything actually bad. I'm sure she has other visitors who would have mentioned a disgusting odour, if it's that bad. Not sure why it's a big deal, either. If it bothers you that much, just say something. Say "what's that smell?" - I find this to be a very odd thread 2
heavenonearth Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 My BFs house sometimes smells funny too. He uses vinegar when washing his clothes, and his clothes always smell funny that way too, also his bedsheets, etc. But I love him so I kinda like everything about him, even the vinegary clothes and bedsheets. That's life. Hahaha. 3
healing light Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Does her place have any obvious signs of water damage? I would check next time. Is it humid or dank or poorly ventilated? From what you describe, I wouldn't be surprised if this is actually a hidden mold problem, which is very bad for your health. Some people are much more sensitive to it which would explain why you're becoming increasingly intolerant of entering her apartment. A place can look fine but also have mold hidden behind walls, etc. that causes a lot of issues for people, as well. 1
LovelyRose Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 My BFs house sometimes smells funny too. He uses vinegar when washing his clothes, and his clothes always smell funny that way too, also his bedsheets, etc. But I love him so I kinda like everything about him, even the vinegary clothes and bedsheets. That's life. Hahaha. I was just about to say that her natural cleaner may be mixed with vinegar. Vinegar is known for anti bacterial all around cleaner. OP why don't you go to the store and look at cleaning supplies that has vinegar in it. See it it's what you are smelling. Only if you are too uncomfortable approaching this girl. If it is her cleaning stuff, then you have no option but to deal with it for now. You two are very new that it wouldn't be nice to make any demands on what type of cleaning stuff she should use. If you say it right and respectfully she shouldn't be offended. My bf's detergent stinks in my opinion. I have told him about this that I don't like it. One day I went and bought fabric softener, lol. He just laughed and teased me if that was a dishwashing soap that belongs under the kitchen sink.
amaysngrace Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 I rented a furnished shore house for seven weeks right after I left my husband and it must've been covered in hidden mold. My son and I both developed allergies from living there despite all the damp rid I hung and all the mold fighting febreeze I sprayed. You could actually feel the particles in the air but it wasn't especially smelly.
preraph Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 If you see any humongous pots laying around that won't fit in cabinets, she may be cooking meth. See any flies or crickets? Those tiny gnatlike fruit flies smell terrible. I know because I get them once a year the last few years. Crickets also smell bad if you have a lot of them. I know some of those cleaners don't smell great but doubt they'd smell like butt. Does she have pets? Maybe it's urine smell. Sometimes if there is an unused faucet or drain , it can dry up and then the sewer gases can come right on up, so you might try running the water everywhere in case that's it. Would be instant fix. It's risky telling someone something smells, but if you're going to do it, do it when you both walk in after being outside and say "Oh, wow, what is that smell?" Then she says "I don't smell anything," say, "yes, here step outside and take a break and then step inside and take a breath. See the difference?" 3
Miss Spider Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 If you see any humongous pots laying around that won't fit in cabinets, she may be cooking meth. [...] say "Oh, wow, what is that smell?" Then she says "I don't smell anything," say, "yes, here step outside and take a break and then step inside and take a breath. See the difference?" :lmao: 3
Raena Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Even in my own home I find that I have to leave for awhile and then return to notice if whatever smell I don't like is still there. If you live in it, you get used to it and then can't smell it anymore. You need to talk to her about it because she probably doesn't notice it. I'm really sensitive to smells and obsess about it. If someone I was dating didn't have the nerve to tell me about something like this, I'd have serious reservations about continuing to date him. That's my preference though, I want someone who is willing to be honest with me even if it might upset me. If it's important, bring it up. If it isn't, let it go. 1
camillalev Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 (edited) If her house smells and she cleans regularly with natural cleaners, the smell might be diluted vinegar. It's used commonly among people who care about using chemical-free cleaners. My old roommate used it and it smelled awful. If its not that it probably has something to do with the house. If she herself doesnt smell this way but her house does, there's no way she doesn't know. How long have you been dating? I would delicately bring it up. I rented a furnished shore house for seven weeks right after I left my husband and it must've been covered in hidden mold. My son and I both developed allergies from living there despite all the damp rid I hung and all the mold fighting febreeze I sprayed. You could actually feel the particles in the air but it wasn't especially smelly. Oh my god that makes me feel sick being able to feel mold spores in the air. yuck! Edited October 5, 2017 by camillalev 1
amaysngrace Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Oh my god that makes me feel sick being able to feel mold spores in the air. yuck! Yea it was pretty raunchy. But it still beat living with the EX 1
Gaeta Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 I use vinagar regularly to wash floors, I use it as fabric softner in washer and I throw some in my dishwasher as well. Right when you use it it smells but the smell does not last. 1
amaysngrace Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 I use vinagar regularly to wash floors, I use it as fabric softner in washer and I throw some in my dishwasher as well. Right when you use it it smells but the smell does not last. I'm going to have to agree with that. I've used it before on natural hardwood floors and the smell goes away as soon as it dries. 1
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