Lostintranslation12 Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 Hi all, I'm in need of an external opinion here ... To make a long story short, my boyfriend and I were in an on and off relationship since august 2014. I am someone hot blooded and unforgiving which led him to break up with me a couple of times. He always came back after a couple of weeks, within 8 weeks usually. He's spoken of marriage but can't be sure if he wa serious or not ... Since June, he's been distant and didn't want to meet and told me over the phone it was over. On august 1st, I broke NC to tell him how sorry I was for what happened between us without any intention to go back to him. Simply sorry. Immediately he wanted to meet, to see me. We did spend the evening and night together. He was looking at me, like I was a goddess. The day after, he was cold and distant again... Fair enough, it was okay for me. Done. The Jewish new year was on the 22nd of September and he called me twice: on the 16th and 18th. No voicemail, no texts, no nothing. He also looked at my Linkedin profile on the jewish new year (a day spent in the synagogue and with family where no electricity is allowed like shabbat and he's quite observant) .. Since no news. What was he trying to do? Reassure himself that I'm still there? If it was to wish me a happy new year why not sending me a text even if I don't reply to the phone?? Will he call back? I don't even know if he has a girlfriend. Please if anyone has an opinion on this, tell me Thanks a lot !!
Beachead Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 (edited) Hey OP, So my advice may hurt you and I apologize in advance for it. He's on his way out of this bond between you two. He carries feelings so he gets weak but he doesn't want them anymore. He's conflicted and confused. The hot and cold is a reflection of his inner battle. The more you push, the more distant he will become but since he is already becoming distant, you have to let this go now. You've tried everything to reach out but we can't force someone to come back. It has to be their own decision. Having said that, nothing in this life is for sure. He may or may not come back. But, you have to make a decision based on today. And today, as far as you know, he's gone and he doesn't want anything to do with the relationship. You have one option: Stop reaching out because it will ruin you. Begin the process of healing your pain in silence and try to learn how to live life without him. I'm not going to lie, it will be one of the hardest experiences you'll ever go through because you will be mourning the death of someone who is still alive. You know what I mean? But if you stay strong and work hard at it, you'll be okay. Your only way out of this pain is through it. Be strong Edited October 4, 2017 by Beachead
Author Lostintranslation12 Posted October 4, 2017 Author Posted October 4, 2017 Hey, Thanks a lot for you insight but he's the one who called twice in 2 days, I didn't contact him since august 1st so don't know what to think of this ...
Beachead Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 (edited) Well you could call him and find out to clear the doubts so it doesn't rot in your head but I have a feeling you may end up hurt. He's the one that ended it. He has to let you know he made a mistake and wants you back. So calling you twice in two days and leaving nothing to go by isn't enough. 2 weeks of silence negates the calls also. Perhaps the continued silence may shed some light and help him decide but hope is a dangerous thing with relationships. Do you want to be dragged through the mud with the ups and downs? Cause I can tell you, it sure destroyed me. In my experiences and my humble opinion, if he wanted this, he wouldn't have you guessing, analyzing, studying. A person who wants you won't risk losing you. Best of luck Edited October 4, 2017 by Beachead
Author Lostintranslation12 Posted October 5, 2017 Author Posted October 5, 2017 Maybe he understood it as a sign that I don't want to have anything to do with him?
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