ontheway Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 My Ex and I of 2 years broke up about 2 months ago due to things she had done in the beginning of our relationship that I couldn't let go. I blew up at her multiple times near the end and she couldn't take it anymore. I begged and pleaded for the first few weeks, then went NC for about a month and started dating another woman. The new woman is great so far, but I am still in love my ex, I regret my inability to let go of the past, and the sex with my ex is out of this world amazing. I got in touch with her a week ago, and we have see each other 3 times so far with out of this world sex. She knows I started dating someone else, and she has told me she is dating someone else too, and keeps telling me don't think we're getting back together, you hurt me to much, and I kind of like this new guy I'm dating. But she also tells me that our sex is the best she's ever had, and is scared of the past repeating itself with me not letting go of the past. I don't want to hurt anyone here including myself, and I am confused on how to handle this situation. This new girl I'm dating seems to be all in with me, but I am still in love with my ex and want her back. How do I handle this? Should just be upfront with my ex and tell her I want her back, I want to work this out with you, and I will not be an option for her? Or just continue to date both woman and let the ex come to me on her terms? Help!
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 You say that you are in love, but the impression I get is that the SEX is what was amazing, not your over-all relationship. She also mentions the SEX. I think you miss the SEX, not the relationship. Why don't you get to know your current gf and see if the sex is just as good. More importantly, find out if you can have a good relationship AND good sex.
kendahke Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 (edited) How do I handle this? Should just be upfront with my ex and tell her I want her back, I want to work this out with you, and I will not be an option for her? Or just continue to date both woman and let the ex come to me on her terms? Help! You handle this by breaking up with the new girl because she doesn't deserve to be with someone who is emotionally cheating on her behind her back. That's what you do. You are deciding for her that she will share you with your ex. Have you run any of this past her yet? If not, why not? You are being completely unfair to her and doing to her what you would most likely blow a gasket over if it were being done to you. Why do you think she deserves this level of contempt for her esteem? Because sex with your ex was somehow so fabulous? What about everything else about your ex that went along with said sex with her that you couldn't get over? You might want to get Richard in check because he's leading you to do things, as I said, you would melt down over were it being done to you. Edited October 4, 2017 by kendahke 1
Author ontheway Posted October 4, 2017 Author Posted October 4, 2017 You say that you are in love, but the impression I get is that the SEX is what was amazing, not your over-all relationship. She also mentions the SEX. I think you miss the SEX, not the relationship. Why don't you get to know your current gf and see if the sex is just as good. More importantly, find out if you can have a good relationship AND good sex. It's true that our overall relationship had it's extreme highs, and extreme lows. She was going through a lot of personal issues when we first started dating, and I held all of that over her head due to my insecurities throughout the entire relationship. The new girl and I have great intimate times, but she has habits of staying out late with her girlfriends and I think is too much of a busy body for me. The ex and I are wonderful together when things are good, but then I let my insecurities get the best of me and blow up at her. During this couple months of the break up, dating other women, and hearing their stories has made me realize that the things I got upset over were not that big of a deal and I was holding on to hurt from a past relationship. I feel like I should be upfront with my ex and tell her that I love her, I want to make this work with a clean slate this time and let the past be the past. I don't want to be someone's option while you continue to date someone else and it's not fair to the woman I'm dating either. But I know how women handle these types of ultimatums
No_Go Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 IME it is better to stay there - sex only. The relationships that once broke usually break again and it gets exhausting. However sex with an ex is awesome No fuss, you know what each other like, and is a low hanging fruit to get. Each of my relationships has ended with some kind of FWB resurfacing for few months, I think this is pretty normal. There is 'decoupling' process after every break up, people kid themselves that it is instantaneous process. So dating and sleeping with your ex is actually beneficial - it makes the process of decoupling smoother. Just don't build up expectations that it will work out as a 'serious' relationship. My Ex and I of 2 years broke up about 2 months ago due to things she had done in the beginning of our relationship that I couldn't let go. I blew up at her multiple times near the end and she couldn't take it anymore. I begged and pleaded for the first few weeks, then went NC for about a month and started dating another woman. The new woman is great so far, but I am still in love my ex, I regret my inability to let go of the past, and the sex with my ex is out of this world amazing. I got in touch with her a week ago, and we have see each other 3 times so far with out of this world sex. She knows I started dating someone else, and she has told me she is dating someone else too, and keeps telling me don't think we're getting back together, you hurt me to much, and I kind of like this new guy I'm dating. But she also tells me that our sex is the best she's ever had, and is scared of the past repeating itself with me not letting go of the past. I don't want to hurt anyone here including myself, and I am confused on how to handle this situation. This new girl I'm dating seems to be all in with me, but I am still in love with my ex and want her back. How do I handle this? Should just be upfront with my ex and tell her I want her back, I want to work this out with you, and I will not be an option for her? Or just continue to date both woman and let the ex come to me on her terms? Help!
MajesticUnicorn Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 First and far most, you need to break up with the new girl you are seeing. It is not fair or right for you to be stringing her along, especially when you say she is "all in," while you are having sex with your ex behind her back. She is clearly a rebound for you. Whether or not you get back with your ex, that is something you are going to have to decide for yourself. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Does your ex even have interest getting back together with you, or is it all about the sex? My advice would be to be single for a while, and stop having sex with your ex if you have any hopes of getting over her. Two months is not a long time to get over a two year relationship.
heavenonearth Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 It makes me sad to read how little you care for the new girl's feelings. All you write about is your ex's feelings when clearly that one only cares about sleeping with you - that's it. Cold.
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