Steestee Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 I met this girl online a few months ago (not on a dating site) and we hit it off and became friends. I've developed romantic feelings for her and I thought there was potential for a relationship. We were set to meet in person for the first time at an event last weekend. I traveled 1000+ miles for it and I was very excited to meet her until she showed up...with her husband, whom she had never even mentioned before. I hung out and got drunk with them. She was very kind and sweet and a lot of fun to spend time with, and her husband was pretty cool too. She indicated that she wanted to hang out again and even sent me a message telling me how much fun she had. Even so, I'm devastated. I'm not going to try anything with her. I just don't know what to do in this situation. I've been in love before with women I couldn't be with, but there's always been a scrap of hope that I could use to motivate and better myself. But I don't know how to deal with heartache when I don't have hope. Heavy drinking and fasting haven't worked so far.
trailwolf Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 i think i would forget this one and move on with ur life , theres nothing to be gained in this situation ! 2
RecentChange Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 Hey Steestee.... Noticed you had another thread about falling hard for someone, that you aren't really connected to - kinda a pattern forming here - no? Goes to show you really can't know someone unless you get to spend actual real life time with them. In the future try to remain more guarded and don't let yourself get so carried away.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 I met this girl online a few months ago (not on a dating site) and we hit it off and became friends. I've developed romantic feelings for her and I thought there was potential for a relationship. We were set to meet in person for the first time at an event last weekend. I traveled 1000+ miles for it and I was very excited to meet her until she showed up...with her husband, whom she had never even mentioned before. I hung out and got drunk with them. She was very kind and sweet and a lot of fun to spend time with, and her husband was pretty cool too. She indicated that she wanted to hang out again and even sent me a message telling me how much fun she had. Even so, I'm devastated. I'm not going to try anything with her. I just don't know what to do in this situation. I've been in love before with women I couldn't be with, but there's always been a scrap of hope that I could use to motivate and better myself. But I don't know how to deal with heartache when I don't have hope. Heavy drinking and fasting haven't worked so far. Were they seeking a third person for a menage a trois? Threesome? Seems weird that the husband would show up with her and not seem to be bothered. Also, you need to get your emotions in check. You had not even met her and you were already having fantasies about living and getting old together. Whenever I entertain a LDR, I do what I can to meet sooner than later, but not before I ask all the important questions....like "how long have you been single?" or "are you single?" 2
smackie9 Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 They were seeking a third person to have encounters with IMO. Too bad she didn't stipulate her intentions. BUT YOU need to ask not assume someone is single and looking for a romantic relationship. 1
RecentChange Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 Do people really get others to travel a 1,000 for a menage a trois? With someone that they didn't bother to inform that they were married, or talk about sex to See if that was something that they would be into? Seems like there would be much easier ways to get a single guy to join a threesome (gals can be hard to find, but the guys generally line up for a chance). How did the meeting come about? Did she invite you to this destination?
Miss Spider Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 I'm sorry this happened. I hope you find healthy ways to cope. This is why I am an adversary of the long term friends/chat buddies first route on online dating specifically. It's very easy to deceive and hide things from others that way and you still can get emotionally involved.
kendahke Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 BUT YOU need to ask not assume someone is single and looking for a romantic relationship. I agree... OP, why did you not directly ask her if she was married? Before I'd let my imagination run wild with me, I'd make sure that that person isn't already involved with someone else. If they lie and it comes out after the fact, that's one thing; but to not even ask before you gone the first of the 1000+ miles?
Author Steestee Posted October 4, 2017 Author Posted October 4, 2017 Do people really get others to travel a 1,000 for a menage a trois? With someone that they didn't bother to inform that they were married, or talk about sex to See if that was something that they would be into? Seems like there would be much easier ways to get a single guy to join a threesome (gals can be hard to find, but the guys generally line up for a chance). How did the meeting come about? Did she invite you to this destination? I don't feel like this was supposed to be a threesome situation. Sorry, I think I may not have been as clear as I should have been. I didn't travel all that way just to meet her; I was already planning on attending an event about 150 miles away from where she lives. She mentioned offhand that she would also be attending and asked if I was planning to go. When I said I would be there she acted excited and said she would love to meet up. That's why I felt so hopeful.
coolheadal Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 I don't feel like this was supposed to be a threesome situation. Sorry, I think I may not have been as clear as I should have been. I didn't travel all that way just to meet her; I was already planning on attending an event about 150 miles away from where she lives. She mentioned offhand that she would also be attending and asked if I was planning to go. When I said I would be there she acted excited and said she would love to meet up. That's why I felt so hopeful. She lied to you right and said she was single on the OLD? Or did you know she wasn't single. But you still hangout with her even though the husband was right there. So she has open relationship or the husband and her are looking for excitement (you are the one). I met a few women who said they were single and yet figured I would never find out the truth. I always find out. When I do the bomb has dropped ladies and gentlemen. They figure it's okay fool around, cheat, lie, open marriage and sorts. I will not touch these women at all. Don't waste your money on them either and don't go out if the husband is there. Come now wake-up. I don't do 2 or 3 or 4 whatever crap they like to do. I am not in it. I don't care if they think I am no fun or boring it will never happen. A lot of these women also are not getting loved by their husband and turn to you the victim they try to convince you they need you they love you they want to be with you always until you get smacked in the face and you know they're married. Well she make it clear to bring her husband. What a shame for you over 1,000 miles to be with a women who turned out to be married. It's a lesson for you but a waste of your money also. I hope you didn't buy drinks for them both or dinner.
coolheadal Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 I don't feel like this was supposed to be a threesome situation. Sorry, I think I may not have been as clear as I should have been. I didn't travel all that way just to meet her; I was already planning on attending an event about 150 miles away from where she lives. She mentioned offhand that she would also be attending and asked if I was planning to go. When I said I would be there she acted excited and said she would love to meet up. That's why I felt so hopeful. Dude she married, she's just using you, she has a husband. She will never leave him for you she will never marry you either. All you can do with her is sleep together but it's sin to do under GOD I feel it's not right. Dude the husband was there with you so weird.. I had a Cuban who I as seeing who wanted me to drive her to ex husband. I found my self stuck because I wasn't using my SUV we were using her brand new 2016 car which I help get for her I didn't pay for it she did I just got it at a lower price for her. But my point is this going to the ex husband house and having them both talk about me behind their backs and I felt bad that I was suck there. I don't know why she wanted to see him. He was her first husband she only was married and divorce twice. She told me she married him just to get out of her aunts house. No excuse to get married. Now you have a woman who your going to take out knowing very well she's using you for her needs and can promise you anything. She's married dude ...
coolheadal Posted October 5, 2017 Posted October 5, 2017 I agree... OP, why did you not directly ask her if she was married? Before I'd let my imagination run wild with me, I'd make sure that that person isn't already involved with someone else. If they lie and it comes out after the fact, that's one thing; but to not even ask before you gone the first of the 1000+ miles? This happens to a lot of us these women can lie to our face over text, cell whatever just to fill in the cap. He won't know until he got there. I never had one bring the husband along. One wouldn't let me into her place. That could have meant the house was dirty she was dirty or the husband was sleeping. Not good women you ask me to be even friends with.
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