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She said she wants to take it slow

BigNoe20

By BigNoe20
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BigNoe20 New Member

BigNoe20

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Try to summarize this as short as possible lol

 

So I recently (A little over 3 months ago) got out of a 5 year relationship with my ex (cheated on me numerous times and ended with a final incident of some inappropriate behavior)

 

Started talking to this girl I have known for a while (were just friends) and recently we had started talking and flirting more and about 2 months ago I told her I had feelings for her, she told me she also had feelings for me too but wanted some more time to pass between my breakup and starting a new thing.

 

I've met her best friends, we went on our first date this last weekend just us two, and we have been out together a couple times with mutual friends, we text just about everyday (she initiates most of the time), we hold hands, pretty touchy when we are together but haven't kissed except for one time she kissed me on the cheek.

 

She said on our last date that she wants to "take things slow" and that she doesn't want to tell anyone that we are talking yet since we dont know what we are doing as far as "figuring our lives out first", and then she said shes scared of getting hurt if I go back to my ex (which wont happen).

 

My question is I guess is how do I not let myself get stuck in this limbo phase, I'm fine with no title and I shes not the type to be talking to alot of guys, But i guess it would be nice to like recognize eachother as a thing

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Give it time, it will happen :)

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Bantosm Established Member

Bantosm

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It sounds like she's being overly cautious. Have you showed her signs that maybe you're not over you ex? This all sounds eerily familiar with a girl I dated earlier this year except I was the one asking to take it slow because she seemed overly cautious. I then said something that suggested otherwise and it went bad quickly. Be careful.

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BigNoe20 New Member

BigNoe20

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It sounds like she's being overly cautious. Have you showed her signs that maybe you're not over you ex? This all sounds eerily familiar with a girl I dated earlier this year except I was the one asking to take it slow because she seemed overly cautious. I then said something that suggested otherwise and it went bad quickly. Be careful.

 

Yeah my ex and I were kind of on and off (I kept taking her back after cheating, stupid I know) this also isn't the longest we have been broken up so I think she may be cautious about me leaving.. I have no problem just taking it slow and keeping what we got going between us two, its just I dont wanna be stuck in this stage forever, cause I would want to date her and be able to kiss her and stuff. What did you say that suggested otherwise? If you dont mind me asking

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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There is no way around it. You are freshly out of a 5 year relationship and you need time alone to reconnect with yourself. This woman knows it and is careful. No woman with a good head on her shoulders would date you seriously right now. It's the way it is. You need to do your time. If she wants to date you you're very lucky, I would not touch you with a 6' pole. Count your blessing you have her now and don't ask for anything else. When you'll reach 1 year single women will take you more seriously.

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LovelyRose Established Member

LovelyRose

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Yeah my ex and I were kind of on and off (I kept taking her back after cheating, stupid I know) this also isn't the longest we have been broken up so I think she may be cautious about me leaving.. I have no problem just taking it slow and keeping what we got going between us two, its just I dont wanna be stuck in this stage forever, cause I would want to date her and be able to kiss her and stuff. What did you say that suggested otherwise? If you dont mind me asking

 

 

Why are you rushing? You've only been single for 3 months. You said it yourself this isn't even the longest you and the ex had broken up then got back together.

 

Sounds like she's protecting herself. So instead of being negative and focus on possibilty of being "stuck" in this status, focus on getting yourself back. Start fresh and find yourself again while enjoying your friendship with this girl.

 

You already said she isn't the type that talks to multiple guys, so what's the problem? Maybe the problem is you can't last that long without physical action and by you saying you want to kiss her and "stuff" you mean SEX, lol.

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