futuregopher Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Girls kinda seem turned off by the fact that I work for my parents. Long story short after college I worked at EY (~60k/year), then private equity fund (~90k/year), but now I work for the family business where it's just me, my parents and two warehouse workers so 5 employees total. I do get a salary (~100k) and basically keep the company running operations wise. The company makes about 1-1.25M of after tax profit but I really don't care for money at this point in my life (28). I never tell ppl how much the company really makes. My parents want me to take over in a couple years. But in NYC there is a lot of competition and the bar for guys is set pretty high. Girls don't really care about dollar amount of annual salary per se but they do like the hedge funds/private equity fund guys, then bankers. Anyone else not that is just kinda "meh" unless you are super good looking or just have family money to blow, etc. "Game" will only take you so far. I do believe that in order to get a girl REALLY attracted you also have to have be well rounded ie good looks, nice body, smart/witty/funny, and great career. I think I'm a 7 on the other aspects but career maybe is just a 5 since it is not glamorous like a hedge fund or private equity (HF/PE) guy but if I told them how much the company actually makes, it would probably make it close to a 10 but I don't like to tell people dollar amounts. For reference point, a 28 year old at a PE/HF is probably making around 200-250k total comp and if it's at a REALLY top tier shop they are pushing 300-350k. I've always wanted to start my own HF and I do a lot of trading on my own time and I think NYC girls like that. I HATE lying so would it be kosher to just say "yeah I'm about to launch my own HF"? I actually do have prospectuses drawn up and trading accounts set up for this to take on outside investor money. When girls ask "what do you do?" - what should I respond with? I usually say I'm a drug dealer as a joke but then they'll usually press more so at some point I need to get serious. Girls I meet while cold approaching on the street don't really get into details about what I do whatever but at certain networking events where the girls are more successful (I find that attractive), I can't just joke about being a drug dealer the entire time so I need to be more specific.
kendahke Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 tell them you work in equity management and unless they're a CPA, it's really boring to talk about. Then change the subject. Those who press, avoid. They're running calculations on how much of your income they can spend. 2
Chilli Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Holy smoke the whole post is about money and girls.What they really go for such and such a job in a guy and are as bad as all that. Remind me not to move to NY for the women. Shame you couldn't look out of town for a real women instead of some shallow materialistic l dunno what. Why would you even want someone like that ? 7
kendahke Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Holy smoke the whole post is about money and girls.What they really go for such and such a job in a guy and are as bad as all that. Remind me not to move to NY for the women. Shame you couldn't look out of town for a real women instead of some shallow materialistic l dunno what. Why would you even want someone like that ? Because NYC is the largest city in the country, the numbers reflect that. There are as many like this in every city; one has to calculate for percentages of those populations. 1
lovephule Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Holy smoke the whole post is about money and girls.What they really go for such and such a job in a guy and are as bad as all that. Remind me not to move to NY for the women. Shame you couldn't look out of town for a real women instead of some shallow materialistic l dunno what. Why would you even want someone like that ? This is very much an OP problem, not a NYC problem. There are plenty of women here who aren't shallow or materialistic, OP just prefers the ones who are (not that there's anything wrong with that). 5
O'Malley Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Cool it with the jokes about being a drug dealer, that might be turning off some of the women initially. I'd mention your title and maybe a basic description of your work, I can't imagine discussing income with anyone I wasn't well acquainted with. If you're going for the competitive type you'll need to be on the same page as them career and success wise. I'd suggest socializing in different places from where you're meeting these same types of people. You might meet women who are hard working but who are not as well off. You can find quality partners but you might have to sacrifice some of your expectations.
Author futuregopher Posted October 2, 2017 Author Posted October 2, 2017 My true passion is trading and investing. I love the stock market. And I guess my post wasn't 100% true. I LOVE money. I love accumulating wealth bc my family and I were pretty low income growing up. But I don't want people to know that I have wealth. I just want to lay low and be the poorest looking millionaire. What do you guys think about responding with "well I work for a family office but I'm launching my own fund soon"? I actually have prospectuses and accounts set up already for this future hedge fund. And regarding NYC - yeah it's not for everyone. Don't move to NYC for the women alone because yeah you'll be disappointed in many ways. But the girls are REALLY HOT but the competition and bar is set pretty high.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 But in NYC there is a lot of competition and the bar for guys is set pretty high. Girls don't really care about dollar amount of annual salary per se but they do like the hedge funds/private equity fund guys, then bankers. Anyone else not that is just kinda "meh" ... So, the girls in NYC DO care about dollar amounts, right?! You seek those type of people out b/c they make tons of money. Ugh, if I were a girl and with my upbringing, i'd avoid guys who make money like that. I need to be with someone with some conscience and social responsibility. Anyhoo, I would tell them that you help run your family's business. Your life style, if ostentatious enough, will allow them to see that you are in a similar league as the hedge-fun fan boys! 1
smackie9 Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Maybe the problem lies within you. Be confident in yourself, what you do, and just be yourself. Do you not want someone to have an honest interest in you? So why try to figure out some higgery jiggery way to attract a woman that wouldn't be interested in you in the first place because of her own agenda. So what if these women are real hot...sound like they are as deep as a puddle. 3
Imajerk17 Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 (edited) I always find threads such as these to be funny. There are too many women (going by the threads on here at least) who are hopelessly in love with a guy who spends his days on the couch playing D&D Even in NYC, there are many many guys who busting their azzes in the service industry who do just fine with women. And you think it is your career that is holding you back? I think you should instead be taking more pride in what you do. Confidence is very attractive. Own it, no need to embellish. And if you want to change your career, it should be because you find some other way to pay the bills to be more rewarding to you, and not because you feel the chicas will dig it. No woman worth dating will reject you just because you aren't a big shot at Goldman Sachs, and this goes even for the women in NYC. Edited October 2, 2017 by Imajerk17 7
Author futuregopher Posted October 2, 2017 Author Posted October 2, 2017 Maybe the problem lies within you. Be confident in yourself, what you do, and just be yourself. Do you not want someone to have an honest interest in you? So why try to figure out some higgery jiggery way to attract a woman that wouldn't be interested in you in the first place because of her own agenda. So what if these women are real hot...sound like they are as deep as a puddle. I know what you mean. The girls that are into me don't really care what I do but they are kinda 6/10 or below. I want the girls that are 7/10 or above so yeah it is kinda my own issue that I hate settling. I think that a man should be well rounded in every single way - looks, body, personality, career etc. I think I'm kinda lacking in the career department. The money is great but I didn't build the business; it was my dad. And no way I'm telling them how much the business makes. It's not my style to be showoffish. In a nutshell, my point is that currently I can maybe attract 30 out of 100 women but if I were at some HF/PE fund I would probably attract 90 out of 100 lol
smackie9 Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 So you are ok with a gold digger? Fair enough. Everyone has their own agenda, and the goals to achieve what they want. 1
CptInsano Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 The money is great but I didn't build the business; it was my dad. And no way I'm telling them how much the business makes. It's not my style to be showoffish. If you want to attract them with your income potential (or actual income) you will have to convey the message somehow, either directly or indirectly.
CptInsano Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 So you are ok with a gold digger? Fair enough. Everyone has their own agenda, and the goals to achieve what they want. At least he's very upfront about it. And I have seen that scene, it definitely exists.
Author futuregopher Posted October 2, 2017 Author Posted October 2, 2017 So you are ok with a gold digger? Fair enough. Everyone has their own agenda, and the goals to achieve what they want. Lol okay so girls that have their own respectable and high paying careers are gold diggers simply bc they want a man that mirrors themselves? OK lol 1
smackie9 Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Lol okay so girls that have their own respectable and high paying careers are gold diggers simply bc they want a man that mirrors themselves? OK lol No those women simply want to have hot looking guys because they can.
O'Malley Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 You're an average guy with an above average income as an operations manager, even for NYC, but you can't compete financially or status-wise with the men who are dating the women that you find attractive. You also don't want to settle for average women who are successful in their fields. A very physically attractive person with a great, affluent career is a bit of a tall order, either you have to become more successful and more physically attractive or adjust your expectations. 3
normal person Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 But I don't want people to know that I have wealth. I just want to lay low and be the poorest looking millionaire. Dude, it's New York. Half (exaggeration) the people living here are low-key looking millionaires hiding their money from everyone. Your situation isn't that special. Women here largely don't care about your money because if they don't have their own, there's plenty of other guys with it and more. You just meet the prerequisite to apply, you still have to pass their test. From what I've experienced, seen, heard, etc, the amount of money that will make most girls overlook a bad personality of glaring character flaw is a lot higher than you think it is. If I were you, I'd focus on being a decent person first. What do you guys think about responding with "well I work for a family office but I'm launching my own fund soon"? I don't see why you can't just say that. 3
CptInsano Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Dude, it's New York. Half (exaggeration) the people living here are low-key looking millionaires hiding their money from everyone. Your situation isn't that special. Women here largely don't care about your money because if they don't have their own, there's plenty of other guys with it and more. You just meet the prerequisite to apply, you still have to pass their test. That is correct, IMHO. Many more or less only care about looks and character because money is not an issue. I met two women from NYC who were like that, one was quite attractive, the other was drop-dead gorgeous. But I have the feeling that the OP is not looking for regular women at all. He is looking for somebody who is impressed by his wealth. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 I know a lot of women in NYC who avoid the money guys like the plaque. Try changing where you hang out. Bars will get you people who seek flash; other venues including the charity circuit will yield more quality prospects. Go to junior committee events for the arts.
todreaminblue Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 maybe its the privilege thing....or that nepotism got you where you are and they might see it as not actual hard work got you to where you are .......i feel a job is a job...its not about salary in my mind or who you work for...its often who you know with employment anyway..... as far as employment goes i believe guys should do what they love to do....makes for a happier man.....if you love your job it makes you happy and you are prepared capable and willing to take over your family business in the future..... it shouldnt be a problem for a woman who truly likes you for you......and really when you are first dating someone going into great detail about your employment and financial affairs isnt really needed...just dont lie about them...deb
act00 Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Getting a job through nepotism...are you floating along or are you actually running this company and invested in keeping it successful? Do you get an allowance and sort of show up once in awhile, or are you fully invested and working this company as if you crawled yourself up the food chain and corporate ladder? I don't have any personal issues with someone who works the family business, who actually WORKS it. Someone who brings in a "paycheck" (allowance) while others run the company is a whole other can o' worms. I would suggest not filling anyone in on the fact it's a family business until you know the person better. I mean, if these women are gold digging, why would you want them anyway? None of that information is relevant, but plenty of women will be happy to shack up with someone with a healthy trust fund just the same. It's perfectly normal for a woman to seek a man with financial, long-term stability. Not all women are going after the richest of the rich, but a good income and ability to maintain employment and income are definitely high on the check-list. I think you're seeking the wrong women. I can't imagine all of NYC doesn't have some descent, attractive women who aren't so shallow.
mortensorchid Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 Work is called work because it's what it is. There are very few out there who have glamorous jobs where we can't wait to get to work everyday, unless you're James Bond. If it was called "having fun" it would be called "having fun". Fact.
hippychick3 Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 No, your job is not a turn off at all. It boggles my mind that a man would even consider dating a woman who was that shallow and materialistic. I have to say that the fact you are even questioning yourself and contemplating dating a woman who cared would be the biggest turn off. 2
oldbutcurious Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 Since you said you love/like money, then, it is of high probability that you will also date them who feels the same... It's kind of sad actually, if by my standard and opinion... Yes, money counts, but it should not be the sole focus in a relationship, otherwise, find a business partner where all you can talk about is raising, accumulating money. Otherwise, if you want to date someone, then, you should actually avoid talking about money. Just tell them a 10-word description of what you do when asked, but beyond that, if it is not necessary, there is no need to discuss how much one make when in a romantic date.
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