Mkn1010 Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 So if you read my last thread, I ended things with a guy I was seeing for a short time (around 8 dates) because I didn't feel 100% about our spark/connection. I called him by phone and we had a long chat and that's where I called things off. He said that he wanted to keep seeing me but he's not one to convince anyone to like him, so he said I should do what I feel is best for me. I put an end to the convo (which was on Friday), and then felt a massive sense of regret and loss each day that I have woken up since!! Anyway, tonight I am supposed to go to his place to return a jacket he leant me and I just don't know what to do! This gets weirder as I have had this long standing crush on a guy at work who I never really see or have only had a few brief convos with. I hadn't seen in for months and last week when I made my last thread I was looking for any sign as to whether or not I should continue seeing guy A and THAT day I saw work guy and we smiled at each other from across the room and I felt all excited inside. I took that as a sign that I don't like guy A enough. But anyhow, after ending things on the weekend, I'm not feeling relived or anything, I'm feeling confused and like I want to see him. AND THEN I see work guy AGAIN today (usually I only see this guy about once a month - different departments), and he started up a convo with me and I went bright red...actually CRIMSON! But I'm pretty sure I heard him say that he went away for the weekend with "another couple" (or something like that). And so I think he has a partner!!!! But when I spoke to this guy, he wanted to keep asking questions to continue the convo, while I escaped quickly as I was dying inside and I can't even talk properly when around him. Yikes!! I'm going to guy A's house this evening to do the jacket exchange but am have no idea what the hell I'm doing.
Dis Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 I adviced you to give guy A a chance but after hearing this? ... Nah If you really like someone, your eyes won't wander to some random cute guy you see at work once a month I think you're upset it didnt work with guy A because he had everything you wanted... just no spark. So now that its over, and you no longer have him... you're trying to convince yourself that it could work. Grass is greener type of thing. But in reality... it wont work Give him his jacket back and be done It wouldnt be fair to him if you're checking out another guy anyway Ask guy B out! If he's taken, so what? You only see him every so often. Go for it! 1
act00 Posted October 2, 2017 Posted October 2, 2017 This guy has taken up your time that is now vacant time. This guy was a source of affection and kissing that is now gone. You broke up with him and feel bad/guilty for it...it's normal to feel this. You are dealing with a loss, and as stated, "the grass is always greener," and you feel on some level, "it could work," especially right now when you have this void. There are things about this guy you really liked - you will seek the same characteristics with future men. There are things you didn't like - you will seek the opposite if they are major issues for you. Just give up the jacket, end it with a hug if you are so inclined and be done with it. Don't make it a thing. Don't come in the house. I dropped off a movie. I was actually in a position I couldn't stay, so it was drop off, hug, and out the door. You don't have to have a "real" plan, but if he wants you to stay, talk, state you can't stay. It will be awkward no matter what.
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