Nbez222 Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Two years ago I had a breakup with a girl I was deeply in love with. The timing of building a relationship together was not right and so we had to go our separate ways. After a prologoned period of no contact and a force of nature we somehow ended up very deeply in connection again. She lives 4 hours away and we are talking several times per week. We do love each other deeply but one of the concerns I have arising is that I do not have an exclusive commitment with her after 3 weeks. In the normal sense of dating I would be fine with taking over a month. Since we already know and love each other deeply I feel the normal period of getting to know each other isn’t the same. She has disappeared the last two weekends and I asked her about this. She has been talking to two other men since before we reconnected. It seems understandable but is also uncomfortable that she wants to take her time. Maybe she isn’t ready for a relationship, maybe I need to be patient. I don’t know, I’ve never been in this situations. How long should I wait to get firm about having a commitment? Should I go on dating other women? I love her dearly and of all the woman I have ever dated she is the only one I’ve ever considered as a life long partner.
Miss Spider Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 I would say if after this long she has rejected the idea of being exclusive with you it's not going to happen. Maybe she just doesn't feel it anymore but it could be she just doesn't want to be in a committed relationship with someone she can barely see. I don't really find that appealing or even a real relationship unless there is some definite cut off date for the distance. I'm sorry.
preraph Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 How often do you two get together face to face? Because not many people will commit just long distance. She's not.
Author Nbez222 Posted October 1, 2017 Author Posted October 1, 2017 We’ve only been talking since 3 weeks ago and it was the circumstances of me evacuating from the Hurricane that brought us to stay together for a few days. After that I came home but we’ve talked almost every day except these two weekends she went to see the other guys she’s talking to. Apparently they’re in other cities and she already had the travel arrangements made before we came together... and she likes one of these guys and expressed an interest in not wanting to make a decision about it yet... but she’s also expressed that she sees the most growth potential with me which makes me wonder why she is indecisive about this. But since I’ve known her she has had trouble with decisions and not wanting to upset people. I work from my computer so I am open to relocating but I’m not wanting to make that consideration known to her yet. I would make the travel arrangements to see her every other weekend if she was available and not traveling...
Miss Spider Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 (edited) I would honestly skip on her. She's openly talking about seeing other guys and using you as an option. She sees growth potential really? You are stock. Not cool Edited October 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough
coolheadal Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 We’ve only been talking since 3 weeks ago and it was the circumstances of me evacuating from the Hurricane that brought us to stay together for a few days. After that I came home but we’ve talked almost every day except these two weekends she went to see the other guys she’s talking to. Apparently they’re in other cities and she already had the travel arrangements made before we came together... and she likes one of these guys and expressed an interest in not wanting to make a decision about it yet... but she’s also expressed that she sees the most growth potential with me which makes me wonder why she is indecisive about this. But since I’ve known her she has had trouble with decisions and not wanting to upset people. I work from my computer so I am open to relocating but I’m not wanting to make that consideration known to her yet. I would make the travel arrangements to see her every other weekend if she was available and not traveling... Irma brought a few of the old ex one that I use to date a lot in 2015 finally answer me, but didn't really understand why should she would she ask how I was doing and did my house get hit. It was small talk at best. I didn't want anything to do with her she's a liar, flirt, tease, money grabber I can go on and on. I told her in email I was glad you contacted me during Irma but time to say goodbye for good! That's ends that one.. If I was you don't even considering doing what you said above. Leave her be she's your ex for a reason! Why would consider going back to pain and suffering and so much stress. So many other women out there instead of her issues. It's your life we can only advise you what's the best move to make here. Move on...
preraph Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 She's not ready to just be with you again. I think you just have to accept it. I'm very sorry you were in the hurricane. horrible mess. Such loss.
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