ThisisIt606 Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Had a first date with a guy from a dating app on Thursday. We had a bit of a scheduling problem. He first asked for Wednesday but I wasn't free. He said was currently in NC but flying home to our city and he could do Monday. He texted me Monday AM saying he misjudged the time and his flight is getting in much later than expected and he could do "9 ish" if I still wanted. I told him we can reschedule as many things can delay a flight and didn't want him to feel rushed. We agreed to meet Thursday evening after his class. I was on call that night (part of my job) and I let him know. We met for drinks and had a good time. When it was time to go he said he had a good time and asked if I would be free for dinner next week. I told him I had fun too and dinner would be good. He mentioned Monday, Wed, or Thursday. I told any of those days sound good as nothing is jumping out at me with plans. We hugged and parted ways. I texted him saying I had a good time and have a good night. He responded that he did too, asked if I got home OK and to have a good night. Today (Saturday) he texted me asking how my weekend is going and if I wanted to have dinner Monday. I told him dinner sounded good and asked if he could do Wednesday instead by any chance. I said I'm on call again on Monday. I also said I most likely wouldn't get called in, but it would be nice to have a pager free night haha. No response… do you think he's annoyed I'm on call again? I was on call for date 1 and it was fine. Or annoyed that I said "any of those days should be fine, nothing jumps out at me as having plans" when we spoke after date 1, and now i'm telling him I'm on call Monday? I'm just confused as to why he wouldn't reply…..
Miss Spider Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 (edited) Maybe just chill a bit and wait for a response. Saturdays can be busy...dates, out with friends etc...who knows why he lost interest Edited October 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough
basil67 Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 There's nothing here which I think would scream at him to walk away. It's not like you've only got every second Tuesday to offer him.
coolheadal Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Had a first date with a guy from a dating app on Thursday. We had a bit of a scheduling problem. He first asked for Wednesday but I wasn't free. He said was currently in NC but flying home to our city and he could do Monday. He texted me Monday AM saying he misjudged the time and his flight is getting in much later than expected and he could do "9 ish" if I still wanted. I told him we can reschedule as many things can delay a flight and didn't want him to feel rushed. We agreed to meet Thursday evening after his class. I was on call that night (part of my job) and I let him know. We met for drinks and had a good time. When it was time to go he said he had a good time and asked if I would be free for dinner next week. I told him I had fun too and dinner would be good. He mentioned Monday, Wed, or Thursday. I told any of those days sound good as nothing is jumping out at me with plans. We hugged and parted ways. I texted him saying I had a good time and have a good night. He responded that he did too, asked if I got home OK and to have a good night. Today (Saturday) he texted me asking how my weekend is going and if I wanted to have dinner Monday. I told him dinner sounded good and asked if he could do Wednesday instead by any chance. I said I'm on call again on Monday. I also said I most likely wouldn't get called in, but it would be nice to have a pager free night haha. No response… do you think he's annoyed I'm on call again? I was on call for date 1 and it was fine. Or annoyed that I said "any of those days should be fine, nothing jumps out at me as having plans" when we spoke after date 1, and now i'm telling him I'm on call Monday? I'm just confused as to why he wouldn't reply….. You sound like your DM or RN to be on call like that. I can relate to that. This guy doesn't have the patience to be with a women on call 24/7. You told him Monday then you told him Wednesday. You should gone out Monday if you got called to come in then you say I have to go sorry work calls. Then he would see you weren't lying to him. Now he will think all sorts of things. Well wait until he calls you or text just can't push this if you haven't heard a word in 2 to 3 weeks you know to push or move on to the next guy!
elaine567 Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 He sounds "busy" and you sound "busy", so he may feel it is not going to work out well, if he cannot rely on you to be at his beck and call, ie when he can fit you in to HIS schedule.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Sounds like he is multi-dating and this could be a slow burn. I would just wait and see where it goes. I don't think you did anything wrong.
act00 Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Anyone who's been on the dating scene awhile will be a bit jaded with unavailable people. We've all had to deal with flaky people, they cancel, they're always busy, and that it is a sign of non-interest. It's possible he's not actively texting because of this. I would say in this instance, reach out a couple times to let him know you're genuinely interested. Just ask how his day is going and you look forward to Wednesday or anything else to spark some conversation. If you're always this busy, he may be choosing to date someone not so busy. He might not be interested or is dating others, and he's just fading out. I kind of think you should have gone out on Monday due to the fact you don't want to lose momentum in a new relationship, especially since both of you seem to be busy, and there have been a few scheduling conflicts already. However, I totally understand planning a date on an obligation-free evening. Having obligations can also be a sign of non-interest, and I would rather just be able to just relax without having to worry about anything other than my date. Overall, I don't see you did anything wrong. You let him know that off the top of your head, you were unaware of any conflicts, but as it turns out, Monday wasn't the best. If he's taking you at face value, he'll understand. So again, I say to extend yourself a little and text him so that knows you're interested and see where it goes. He'll respond favorably or you'll move on. You like him enough and this seems to have potential, so you're also going to have to decide if his busy schedule is something you can work around, at least at first, and hopefully you'll see each other more as you know each other more, or you may find you wish to seek someone more available.
Versacehottie Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Had a first date with a guy from a dating app on Thursday. We had a bit of a scheduling problem. He first asked for Wednesday but I wasn't free. He said was currently in NC but flying home to our city and he could do Monday. He texted me Monday AM saying he misjudged the time and his flight is getting in much later than expected and he could do "9 ish" if I still wanted. I told him we can reschedule as many things can delay a flight and didn't want him to feel rushed. We agreed to meet Thursday evening after his class. I was on call that night (part of my job) and I let him know. We met for drinks and had a good time. When it was time to go he said he had a good time and asked if I would be free for dinner next week. I told him I had fun too and dinner would be good. He mentioned Monday, Wed, or Thursday. I told any of those days sound good as nothing is jumping out at me with plans. We hugged and parted ways. I texted him saying I had a good time and have a good night. He responded that he did too, asked if I got home OK and to have a good night. Today (Saturday) he texted me asking how my weekend is going and if I wanted to have dinner Monday. I told him dinner sounded good and asked if he could do Wednesday instead by any chance. I said I'm on call again on Monday. I also said I most likely wouldn't get called in, but it would be nice to have a pager free night haha. No response… do you think he's annoyed I'm on call again? I was on call for date 1 and it was fine. Or annoyed that I said "any of those days should be fine, nothing jumps out at me as having plans" when we spoke after date 1, and now i'm telling him I'm on call Monday? I'm just confused as to why he wouldn't reply….. No one said this and I am surprised. 100% honest (even if you didn't mean it) but it seems like you guys are getting into a "power struggle" about scheduling. Maybe you don't mind staying in touch about it and it's true that things genuinely come up for both of you. But with the previous time, his flight stuff and now you saying you were open and then backtracking a bit, it's messing with the momentum. I don't think either of you is being dishonest or shady however as someone said people are very jaded these days in dating and it seems like the scheduling is becoming a bit of the focus. You have to realize that you don't know each other well enough for trust to be built up so he can be imagining various things or put off much easier than someone who knows and trusts you. To me, the bolded sentence above is the culprit. Next time just commit to a day and stick to it to avoid looking flakey or uninterested or fickle, etc.
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