kortz Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 As almost everyone else has said in here, just ask her out!!! If you are interested in a girl and have established some communication then you should be moving the conversation towards asking her out as soon as possible. Interest can fizzle out pretty quickly and dragging things out shows a lack of confidence. If she says no, who cares?!?!? Life goes on it's no big deal. Keep it friendly and accept any 'no' with grace. If she says yes, woohoo! 1
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 No, only she knows whether you initially had a chance, like Cookie and others have said a woman knows in seconds/minutes if she would be interested in someone. This can quickly be eradicated by off/weird behaviour though at any point. However, if you were picking up from the previous day's conversation and it was about traffic then that's just general daily talk. Had she had any interest though I suspect she would have jumped to help you. Trouble is this is weird behaviour, I don't understand why you would knock on a staff door where people will have been working likely several hours for an update on traffic. Surely you'd be better asking a fellow gym goer who just walked in or checking the travel news on your phone? Because I started to ask her about the traffic, then let her be as she was busy. I go about my workouts and when I can talk to her and all the other local people. So I don't always have time as she is busy I am busy. I have been seriously into the fitness things for 20 years My workouts are 2.5 hours long 5 days a week. My first goal is to workout and then socialize here and there when I can and not bother people. I just decided to follow up. Me asking about traffic didnt kill it. Last Monday ( not yesterday)and the week prior she was warming up to me I felt like I had a live one and was going to do it soon. Now She's gone cold, but not shut off. I haven't done anything that would be weird or unusual. I go about my day and take breaks to make conversation. I wonder if she's testing out my behaviour. She seemed warmer and smiley in the last hour my workout last night. No idea why. Im going to proceed still and see what she's like. Then decide. its possible that she cant tell what my intentions are as I talk to everyone. She seems to be alone on Fridays If I’ll ask Ill do it then.
kendahke Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 I did nothing but the usual small talk and that's why she's not got that kind of time for you anymore. Busy or no, if she had any remote sort of interest, you'd know and you wouldn't be here asking us anything. You'd have had your answer.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 Last Monday ( not yesterday)and the week prior she was warming up to me I felt like I had a live one and was going to do it soon. Now She's gone cold, but not shut off. I haven't done anything that would be weird or unusual. I go about my day and take breaks to make conversation. Someone else may have gotten to her first.
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 and that's why she's not got that kind of time for you anymore. Busy or no, if she had any remote sort of interest, you'd know and you wouldn't be here asking us anything. You'd have had your answer. This makes no sense you're implying the small talk killed it, yet your saying she has no interest. If she didnt then, small talk wouldn't have killed anything
GemmaUK Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 OP, just ask her out. It's no biggie if she says no and if she says yes then great!
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 Someone else may have gotten to her first. I dont think thats it
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 Ask her out. You cannot just assume she will be just sitting there waiting for you for weeks. BUT, I would guess women who work in gyms are similar to any women who works in a service type industry. They have to be super friendly and smiley to the clients as that is their job. YOU knocking on her office door maybe crossed the client/staff boundary, a boundary I guess she is trying to reinstate by her colder attitude towards you.
Fair Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 Ladies, Do women think that you like them, if you talk to them all the time? or should I keep her in suspense? Here's a question. I talk to this women I see working at the gym. All neutral topics, if I keep talking to her will she clue in that I kind alike her or will she just think Im friendly? If she likes me too or begins to like me will she perhaps show it? or should I keep her guessing? like this is an experiment of sorts, generate uncertainty, and perhaps tension ( not bad tension) Ladies thoughts? Every woman whose honest knows a man won't talk to them unless absolutely necessary UNLESS he's attracted to her. In fact there are actually studies that claim if he's talking to you AT ALL , you can bet he finds you attractive. And I can speak from experience. I've never been able to have males as friends ... they come around only if there's a romantic interest... if it's not returned by me they take off... men don't want women as just friends. They have their men friends for that.
Fair Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 Because I started to ask her about the traffic, then let her be as she was busy. I go about my workouts and when I can talk to her and all the other local people. So I don't always have time as she is busy I am busy. I have been seriously into the fitness things for 20 years My workouts are 2.5 hours long 5 days a week. My first goal is to workout and then socialize here and there when I can and not bother people. I just decided to follow up. Me asking about traffic didnt kill it. Last Monday ( not yesterday)and the week prior she was warming up to me I felt like I had a live one and was going to do it soon. Now She's gone cold, but not shut off. I haven't done anything that would be weird or unusual. I go about my day and take breaks to make conversation. I wonder if she's testing out my behaviour. She seemed warmer and smiley in the last hour my workout last night. No idea why. Im going to proceed still and see what she's like. Then decide. its possible that she cant tell what my intentions are as I talk to everyone. She seems to be alone on Fridays If I’ll ask Ill do it then. If she knows you like her it's quite likely she's flattered... but that's not to be mistaken for returned interest. It just means you've given her ego a boost. Ask her out if you want to, but it sounds like she's adjusting her behavior so as not to encourage you to go that far.
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 If she knows you like her it's quite likely she's flattered... but that's not to be mistaken for returned interest. It just means you've given her ego a boost. Ask her out if you want to, but it sounds like she's adjusting her behavior so as not to encourage you to go that far. The problem with that is that I was super well received before. There's nothing been done that would indicate I was going to make a move. she was all smiles all the time for a bout two weeks. Keep in mind everyone knows me there so I speak to everybody, male female everyone. So I'm not focusing on her.
Moves Like Jagger Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 OP, you blew it by putting this woman on a pedestal. You assumed that because of her looks and personality that she is better than you. I don't know what the point of the thread is because I think that she was never interested in you in that way. If she were interested, she would seek you out. A lot of your posts in this thread reek of lacking confidence. Why are you trying something advanced liking picking up women while they are working when you are uncomfortable showing interest in women? Here's one way to get over your fear of asking women out. Practice your flirting skills at a bar or nightclub. Every time you get some sense of rapport between you and the girl, ask her out. Do this enough times until you have the confidence to ask a girl out who is working at her job.
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 (edited) OP, you blew it by putting this woman on a pedestal. You assumed that because of her looks and personality that she is better than you. I don't know what the point of the thread is because I think that she was never interested in you in that way. If she were interested, she would seek you out. A lot of your posts in this thread reek of lacking confidence. Why are you trying something advanced liking picking up women while they are working when you are uncomfortable showing interest in women? Here's one way to get over your fear of asking women out. Practice your flirting skills at a bar or nightclub. Every time you get some sense of rapport between you and the girl, ask her out. Do this enough times until you have the confidence to ask a girl out who is working at her job. What do you mean seek me out? I haven't put anyone on a pedestal . I think everyone on here is envisioning a different scenario thats what's taking place. I dont go to bars and night clubs. She was smiling more here and there Yesterday. Everyone on this thread say different things. Edited October 3, 2017 by Sdives
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 Honest to god she was showing sign of interest for about two weeks until last Tuesday, then Wed Thurs I didn't go to the gym. Friday we talked a bit.for Those two weeks I would catch her doing little glances and smiles here and there. one after another. Perhaps I've been too obvious and its not a challenge, as in telegraphed too much interest too soon. Thats why I felt last night more positive smiles from her when I dropped it for a bit. Im going to pull back for a bit then reengage and then decide. I going to withdraw my attention and see what happens. I know what i saw those two weeks I've gone out with gym women before this is not new turf for me. I have in different cities I have lived in. I used to talk to this woman in the gym along time back as I liked her. This went on for two months. I then slowed it down. She then started coming up to me and telling me all about her life and growing up etc. It came form out of nowhere. I knew at that point she was interested, by me pulling back allowed things to sit to see what was going to happen. She moved away, but it was fun while is lasted. She used to sit herself beside any machine I was on and then engage me. So I felt good about that. I had down all the work before.
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 sdives, all people are unique and different from one another. So don't try to get this woman into the same frame of mind as a woman you got together with another time was in. She doesn't have to be interested in you as a bf to go out and have a good time with you. So just ask her out. Possibly the reason she's backed off from you is because she's figured out you're playing games with her. Possibly that's not the reason. Just go ask her out, it's not as if that's some strange thing to do! People do it all the time with little or no convo before doing it.
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 sdives, all people are unique and different from one another. So don't try to get this woman into the same frame of mind as a woman you got together with another time was in. She doesn't have to be interested in you as a bf to go out and have a good time with you. So just ask her out. Possibly the reason she's backed off from you is because she's figured out you're playing games with her. Possibly that's not the reason. Just go ask her out, it's not as if that's some strange thing to do! People do it all the time with little or no convo before doing it. I was making an analogy of withdrawing my attention to see what would happen. Based on yesterday I gave her no attention and she became more smiley as the time went on. Im going to sit tight.
kendahke Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 This makes no sense you're implying the small talk killed it, yet your saying she has no interest. If she didnt then, small talk wouldn't have killed anything It makes all the sense in the world if you're not about hearing what you want to hear. Small talk is her doing her job, keeping the clientele happy. She small talks with everyone during her day. So in that sense, this makes you no more special than some other guy who is working out there and chats her up.
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 How old is this girl? She's 23. I assume of this year.
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 It makes all the sense in the world if you're not about hearing what you want to hear. Small talk is her doing her job, keeping the clientele happy. She small talks with everyone during her day. So in that sense, this makes you no more special than some other guy who is working out there and chats her up. Im going to sit tight for a bit and see what happens. I make small with all of them, all the staff the regulars why would she think I have an agenda?
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 She's 23. I assume of this year. You are 37 and by your threads seem to make a habit of hitting on teenage/early twenties women who work at the gym. It seems to me you are mixing up "interest" in you as a client with "interest" in you as a romantic prospect. You have to realise they are a captive audience and they have to be nice and polite to you, it is their job to be nice to you. A long time back you found a woman in a gym was interested in you, but you are now 37, pitching at women who probably do not see you in that way at all. These women have a job and a reputation to maintain, dating clients can lead to all sorts of problems, no wonder it all got "awkward" when you went into her office. 2
Author Sdives Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 You are 37 and by your threads seem to make a habit of hitting on teenage/early twenties women who work at the gym. It seems to me you are mixing up "interest" in you as a client with "interest" in you as a romantic prospect. You have to realise they are a captive audience and they have to be nice and polite to you, it is their job to be nice to you. A long time back you found a woman in a gym was interested in you, but you are now 37, pitching at women who probably do not see you in that way at all. These women have a job and a reputation to maintain, dating clients can lead to all sorts of problems, no wonder it all got "awkward" when you went into her office. The office comment was not a big deal. I may have shown too much interest too soon. I should off held off a bit. I might have telegraphed too much to soon. I will pull back then reengage. Give the whole thing some space. I have no interest in anyone my own age bracket.( Taken, married etc) I'm at the right age for the 20 somethings.My age is normal.
normal person Posted October 3, 2017 Posted October 3, 2017 Everyone on this thread say different things. Everyone has basically the same advice: ask her out or quit talking about it. I have no interest in anyone my own age bracket.( Taken, married etc) I'm at the right age for the 20 somethings.My age is normal. You assume. This is painful to read. Everyone has given you similar advice. If you think you know better than everyone, what's the point of the thread? Why not just wait it out until it's no longer "weird?" 4
Author Sdives Posted October 4, 2017 Author Posted October 4, 2017 She gave prolonged eye contact with me tonight No idea why. I didn’t say anything tonight. Smiles and such. We'll see. Im holding back for a bit.
Author Sdives Posted October 4, 2017 Author Posted October 4, 2017 Everyone has basically the same advice: ask her out or quit talking about it. You assume. This is painful to read. Everyone has given you similar advice. If you think you know better than everyone, what's the point of the thread? Why not just wait it out until it's no longer "weird?" I will It's odd, she's pulls back now give a ton of eye contact at me tonight. When I say Hi and she says hi back there is a stutter there, like uncertainty about how she thinks. I'm uncertain on what I think ...we'll see. I don't entirely know even what I want just yet.
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