Sdives Posted September 30, 2017 Posted September 30, 2017 Ladies, Do women think that you like them, if you talk to them all the time? or should I keep her in suspense? Here's a question. I talk to this women I see working at the gym. All neutral topics, if I keep talking to her will she clue in that I kind alike her or will she just think Im friendly? If she likes me too or begins to like me will she perhaps show it? or should I keep her guessing? like this is an experiment of sorts, generate uncertainty, and perhaps tension ( not bad tension) Ladies thoughts?
basil67 Posted September 30, 2017 Posted September 30, 2017 If you don't ask me out, I will think you're simply being friendly. Especially if the topics are all neutral. 5
joseb Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Probably better to stare at her and say nothing. There's been a few threads on here from women that have gotten very excited by that. Seriously though, what are you looking to do - ask her out? Well, if so, then..... ...ask her out... 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 I'd be very annoyed if someone "talked to me all the time" at the gym. 8
act00 Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 I think if you're talking to me, you're just talking to me. I don't take general banter as a pickup line. You would not generate any suspense. I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish here...are you trying to play games? Are you some diamond-encrusted god of worship and you need to tempt and ignore this lady in an effort to have her sniffing after you? What is this need for suspense or "keep her guessing?" I'd find that behavior annoying beyond all reason, and I don't want to be with someone who plays emotional head games. If you want to go out with her, ask her out. 1
GemmaUK Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 I think if you're talking to me, you're just talking to me. I don't take general banter as a pickup line. You would not generate any suspense. I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish here...are you trying to play games? Are you some diamond-encrusted god of worship and you need to tempt and ignore this lady in an effort to have her sniffing after you? What is this need for suspense or "keep her guessing?" I'd find that behavior annoying beyond all reason, and I don't want to be with someone who plays emotional head games. If you want to go out with her, ask her out. Ditto, I would just think he was chatty, being friendly. Then also, I'm at the gym and I don't want people talking to me all the time so doing just that is likely going to put me off even if I had any interest as he's not being considerate of me and my time there. 1
coolheadal Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Ladies, Do women think that you like them, if you talk to them all the time? or should I keep her in suspense? Here's a question. I talk to this women I see working at the gym. All neutral topics, if I keep talking to her will she clue in that I kind alike her or will she just think Im friendly? If she likes me too or begins to like me will she perhaps show it? or should I keep her guessing? like this is an experiment of sorts, generate uncertainty, and perhaps tension ( not bad tension) Ladies thoughts? i am A guy, you should ask her out, no one here can really say if this girl is really digging you or not. But you already answered your own question. Just ask out her out, but before you do that ask her this: So by-the-way there is a big event going to happen this weekend are going out with your boyfriend, girl friend, husband to this event? See what gives you for answer. You need to make up something or know about the event if there is one? What I am trying to say is that you need to make sure she's not seeing or being with someone. This way you don't feel rejected. 1
elaine567 Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Trouble with talking to her and then not talking to her to create "uncertainty" and "tension" is that she may just go, OK he is no longer interested in me (as a friend or otherwise) and stop talking to you or avoid you all together. If you then pick it up again she may conclude that you are moody and inconsistent or a game player and that is not usually seen as attractive to normal stable women. The time for being cool and "mysterious" is long past and that only really works on strangers if you are very good looking, otherwise you will be seen as a creep. "He used to talk to me all the time, now he is aloof and just stares at me... frightening..." Truth is you are scared to ask her out, but just do it before you turn her off with any game playing. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 I have never been so egotistical or presumptuous to assume that any man who speaks to me is romantically interested in me. If he keeps talking to me but doesn't ask me out I assume he is just friendly. So if you like this lady, take action already. 5
Addius Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 I'd be very annoyed if someone "talked to me all the time" at the gym. Haha exactly. I think maybe she’s just trying to be nice to him.
The Urbanyst Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Most women who are above average looking assume you want to sleep with them if you're giving them attention.
Miss Spider Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 (edited) I'd be very annoyed if someone "talked to me all the time" at the gym. Srsly the reason I'm relunctant to get a gym membership. I'd be over in the 'guy area' (only need to free weights and leg press). Don't need someone trying to "help" me with my form or "talking to me all the time". I wonder how typical that is. Edited October 1, 2017 by Cookiesandough 2
Author Sdives Posted October 1, 2017 Author Posted October 1, 2017 She works there, Im 99% sure she's single as she a couple times hinted at it. My point overall is if I asked her out now it would be weird as we haven't talked that much and since we run into each other all the time as opposed a random meeting I can take sometime to talk a bit. My point is overall I can't tell if she is interest or not. Sometimes and somedays I think for sure, somethings up. Some times it doesn't seem like it. If I keep talking to her she's gotta catch on. I mean I want to make sure that I have a good idea if she's interested or not before I bother and we are familiar enough that it wont seem weird. I want it to we have talked enough and it would seem logical to make a move. Hopefully she can throw me a bone that she would be receptive or not to an advance. Eventually she's gotta clue in here.
coolheadal Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Srsly the reason I'm relunctant to get a gym membership. I'd be over in the 'guy area' (only need to free weights and leg press). Don't need someone trying to "help" me with my form or "talking to me all the time". I wonder how typical that is. Exactly.. I don't talk to women at the gym when I use to go too YouFit. The only woman I did talk to was the young manager she was so nice and I told her my story. Then other female colleagues from YouFit would walk up to me when I was working out asking me questions about myself an etc.. But this was rare. Once I was doing a workout on the sit-up bench two young girls came up to me and said you have some pretty pearl white teeth! I had smiled and said thank you! So I guess the OP keeps on talking to that young girl, but she should ask her at after the workout. Run up to her and say "hey would like to hangout and get some smoothies at so and so place".. See if she's interested or not? 1
normal person Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 OP, keep in mind if she works there, she has to be nice to you. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you, but it doesn't mean she does either. Tips for avoiding unwanted attention and conversation at the gym: - Have your headphones in before you walk through the door and don't take them out until after you leave - Don't make eye contact with anyone, look at the floor when walking between machines - Wear shirts that don't have anything written on them so no one can comment on them or ask you about them - Have a savage look on your face at all times 3
preraph Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Probably better to stare at her and say nothing. There's been a few threads on here from women that have gotten very excited by that. Seriously though, what are you looking to do - ask her out? Well, if so, then..... ...ask her out... Ugh. Gross. I think staring and doing nothing is what fearful awkward guys WISH would work, but it's just terribly creepy. Especially in a gym. But anywhere. If you can't ask the woman out, you're not ready for the woman. Ask her out or stop playing games. 3
Miss Spider Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Ugh. Gross. I think staring and doing nothing is what fearful awkward guys WISH would work, but it's just terribly creepy. Especially in a gym. But anywhere. If you can't ask the woman out, you're not ready for the woman. Ask her out or stop playing games. I consider this a mind**** challenge I'm usually down to take them up on. I stare them with a straight/borderline b*tchface right back and I always win staring competitions Yea I am still single 2
Versacehottie Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 To me, it's less a question of just absolute quantity of time but rather the quality or type of talking to me that is done. A guy who is interested usually has somewhat pointed questions after a bit of initial friendly groundwork AND flirts a bit. There is or becomes at least enough confidence that he already either has or becomes more comfortable with because you are continuing to converse with him. In a general sense if a guy talks to me a lot, I would assume he's interested probably but then if he hasn't done the flirting or pointed questions (asking what I did for fun last weekend, dropping hints about a bf so I can confirm or deny having one, getting more personal, etc)--if he hasn't done those then i would think he doesn't have the b*lls to ask me out. Also you need to pay attention to how she is letting the conversation go, if she tries to keep it relatively neutral and stay away from getting more personal, i.e. keep it surface-y then she probably just wants to be friendly and might be trying to keep you from asking her out. Like if you are misreading her signals. Anyway, both sides should be giving (green light!) signals good luck
lovephule Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 - Wear shirts that don't have anything written on them so no one can comment on them or ask you about them One gal at my gym has a shirt that says "LEAVE ME ALONE" in huge letters. OP, I imagine gym employees to be on the level of bartenders in terms of having seen and heard it all. If you're interested you're not gonna be fooling her. 1
Author Sdives Posted October 1, 2017 Author Posted October 1, 2017 OP, keep in mind if she works there, she has to be nice to you. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you, but it doesn't mean she does either. Tips for avoiding unwanted attention and conversation at the gym: - Have your headphones in before you walk through the door and don't take them out until after you leave - Don't make eye contact with anyone, look at the floor when walking between machines - Wear shirts that don't have anything written on them so no one can comment on them or ask you about them - Have a savage look on your face at all times I know the fact that she works there is a confounding variable. If we keep talking I hope I can get a nudge in the right direction to make a move. Last week I was very confident that she might be interested. Later last week not so much. I'll keep talking but I hope she gets the hint and gives me something I can work with.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 I consider this a mind**** challenge I'm usually down to take them up on. I stare them with a straight/borderline b*tchface right back and I always win staring competitions Yea I am still single lol, you crack me up . 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 I know the fact that she works there is a confounding variable. If we keep talking I hope I can get a nudge in the right direction to make a move. Last week I was very confident that she might be interested. Later last week not so much. I'll keep talking but I hope she gets the hint and gives me something I can work with. Well, since she's an employee, this changes my answer a little. I'd say to make sure you greet her by name when you get there, (i.e. "Hi Lauren, how's your Monday going?"), smile, etc. But also, how are you going to feel about continuing to go to that gym if she said no to a date?
coolheadal Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 OP, keep in mind if she works there, she has to be nice to you. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you, but it doesn't mean she does either. Tips for avoiding unwanted attention and conversation at the gym: - Have your headphones in before you walk through the door and don't take them out until after you leave - Don't make eye contact with anyone, look at the floor when walking between machines - Wear shirts that don't have anything written on them so no one can comment on them or ask you about them - Have a savage look on your face at all times Even if she works there she could still be interested in him. These tips are common everyone wears earphones.. I go in and show my pass say hi to the desk clerk usually a woman some like to chat with me if they're not busy. I was to work out not pickup women Unless these women wore a t-shirt that said she was available and single otherwise not really the place to pick up anyone. Everyone is dead focus on working out anyway..
Author Sdives Posted October 1, 2017 Author Posted October 1, 2017 Well, since she's an employee, this changes my answer a little. I'd say to make sure you greet her by name when you get there, (i.e. "Hi Lauren, how's your Monday going?"), smile, etc. But also, how are you going to feel about continuing to go to that gym if she said no to a date? I know. if she shot me down I would still go. This gym os a bit of a meeting place its the same crowd over and over again. Other folks I know went out with the staff for a couple years now and counting now. There are few couples long term have come out of here. Likely ore but I dont know all the people there. I had worked in a gym about 11 years ago and went out with a woman that was a member. two week back I was sure she was sending signs last Monday i felt very comfortable we had the eye contact thing going a ton. From Tuesday until ow it seems more neutral. I just hope I find out if she will shoot me down just by our conversations a head of time. She does seem to be smarter than the others there.
kendahke Posted October 1, 2017 Posted October 1, 2017 Ladies, Do women think that you like them, if you talk to them all the time? or should I keep her in suspense? Here's a question. I talk to this women I see working at the gym. All neutral topics, if I keep talking to her will she clue in that I kind alike her or will she just think Im friendly? If she likes me too or begins to like me will she perhaps show it? or should I keep her guessing? like this is an experiment of sorts, generate uncertainty, and perhaps tension ( not bad tension) Ladies thoughts? Why in God's name do you first want to reach for game playing? Silly games are a turn off, especially coming from a grown man. They sure aren't going to do the trick. Children play games, not adults. Adults use the confident, direct approach in asking for what they want. You might want to try that tack instead. You say she works there, as opposed to working out there, so do you mean she's employed there? If that is what you mean, then she's there to do a job and be nice to the customers, of which you are one. So being friendly and talking to you are a part of her job description, they're not indicative of her interest level outside of her being a professional. Also, if she's an employee, then she may be constrained by rules to not fraternize with the clientele. If you mean that she works out there, then know this: lots of women don't like being approached or talked to at the gym.. they're there to get a work out in, not to scour the place for dates. Some girls might, but not a lot of women do. If she's being nice, but not asking you personal questions about yourself or giving you any indication that she has further interest (and you didn't say that she did--it would be obvious if she had), then she's being pleasant with someone she doesn't know and doesn't know how he will react if she told you to leave her alone. So she's just playing for time til you or she is out of there. Straight up ask her out for a coffee or a juice. If she says no or hesitates, then you have your answer. 3
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