Should I date a guy who treats me poorly and doesn't think I'm attractive?

[ireallylovedhim]

So I've been talking to a guy online who tells me that I'm not objectively attractive, but he's willing to date me because he has low standards and he's lonely. Normally any person with an ounce of self respect would say no, but the thing is, his parents are rich and he's offering me to spoil me if I date him. Now I'm REALLY strapped for cash and could use the extra money. Not only is he offering me money if I meet him, but he promised to take me on expensive vacations, trips, shopping sprees, and rent out luxurious 5 star hotels and restaurants for us. I'm so poor I've never even been to a real restaurant in my life. When he talks to me about the decadent rich people food he eats, I'm confused since I've never even heard about those foods.

 

He says he doesn't care about looks and cares more about personality and how he's treated. Basically I'll just have to treat him like a king then I'll get rewarded for it, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. I'm not even sure if he can follow through with his promises. Even while talking online he's shown that he has a short fuse and anger issues, so I wouldn't feel exactly physically safe with him either.

 

But I'm still considering it. I mean I know I'm not attractive. Guys don't approach me and never hit on me. I never get any boyfriend offers from men, especially not rich men who can give me what I desperately need: money. So compounded with my need for money, I'm also deprived of love, attention, and self esteem.

 

Is there really anything bad about dating a guy you don't like and vice versa for the money? I think about it this way: you get disrespected at a low wage job (think manual labor) by your supervisors, people outside of work treat you worse once they find out you have a crappy job, you lose dignity, AND you have to wake up to an alarm and perform back breaking, grueling work for hours on end. With this rich guy, I can get paid and experience a taste of the rich lifestyle just for cuddling with him and lying on my back. That sounds like a better deal to me, but I don't know. I've never done it before.

 

Does anyone have any experience with this? Thoughts?

[girlinNYC]

It doesn't sound like a good idea to me. There are plenty of ways you can make money without degrading yourself. You will find there is more to a relationship than money and materialism. You will be depriving yourself of what truly matters, being respect and feeling that true love. It won't last. You're also preventing yourself from finding someone who won't straight up insult your appearance AND will respect you at the same time. Just because you haven't been hit on doesn't mean you never will. Appearance especially if you're unhappy with it is all within your control too.Focus on building yourself up. You don't need a man to finance you.

[BaileyB]

No.

 

I hope you get yourself some counselling. You should not be dating at all right now. You need to work on your self esteem first.

[elaine567]

If he has money and is willing to spend it on a woman then why is he bothering with you, as you say you are not that attractive...plenty good looking woman around who would help him spend his money.

I guess it is a scam and he is up to no good.

Keep away unless you want to end up face down in a ditch...

[Art_Critic]

What a loser.. rich.. I doubt it...

 

Any person who would openly be mean and degrade someone would most certainly abuse them and you would only have seen the tip of the iceberg with how bad he will get.

[Miss Spider]

If he has money and is willing to spend it on a woman then why is he bothering with you, as you say you are not that attractive...plenty good looking woman around who would help him spend his money.

I guess it is a scam and he is up to no good.

Keep away unless you want to end up face down in a ditch...

 

I, too, doubt this jerk is really rich. I'm more willing to bet op is attractive and this guy is just gets off somehow on degrading a woman. Ive heard men have something against attractive women or like having power and control over them. They need to feel superior. And yes he will probably have other women as part of this ordeal. I think you need to seek counseling to be considering this OP.

[act00]

First off, why even entertain the idea of spending time with someone who states, straight up, you're only marginally attractive and he has low standards? He's setting you up to be treated poorly because he can't behave well and has no desire or ability to change, or he's just a psycho on the internet. Seriously, if you take him at face value, he just wants someone around, but he is not willing to be a descent person. He's an abusive dick, he knows it, won't change it, and maybe he's a sociopath. He's throwing out the fishing line, being a dick in doing so, knowing someone will take the bait at some point.

 

I question if he's rich at all. This is an online thing, and he can say anything and create anything. If he has that much money, lets be realistic, women wouldn't be that hard to find. They would be flocking towards him. They would be hard to keep if his personality is abusive and cruel, but they wouldn't be hard to find on a short-term basis, and there will be some that stick longer because they trade off on the handbags and shoes while being treated like dirt.

 

Maybe he is rich and thinks a woman who doesn't hit the model-beautiful profile with a blue collar job will be a better choice for belittling and beating because a beautiful woman can certainly land herself another man quickly, even if it's a tradeoff from one abusive jerk to another.

 

There's something going on here, and it's not good. The pieces are not coming together, and the frauds out there would be happy to bilk you out of whatever little you have and get some sex out of it too.

 

If you agreed on a date, I question if this date would materialize, or his card wouldn't work or he forgot his wallet, or you're putting yourself into a dangerous position. Do not entertain further contact with this man.

[lovephule]

I would like to know more about these decadent rich ppl foods.

 

Google "salt daddy."

[limichelle]

No!

OP, anybody who puts you down and makes you feel bad isn't worth all the money in the world. What's priceless is finding someone who lifts you up and thinks the world of you.

 

If he has a bad temper I also say run!!! That could lead to physical abuse.

 

You need to think more highly of your worth. You're more valuable then what money can buy.

Yeah it sucks being poor! I get that!

But it's cliche and true.

Money especially his money won't buy you happiness.

 

Lisa

[MyOphelia]

Absolutely not.

[d0nnivain]

It's called being a kept woman. It's a little more socially acceptable way of being a prostitute.

 

The choice is yours. If you are OK with being bought, go ahead.

[Miss Spider]

I have never encountered one of these guys. I mean I know sugar dads. But how does he treat you poorly? Besides degrading your appearance.This sounds like a set up for an abusive situation

[Echo74]

You DO know that there are tons of scammers online right?

 

That said, you don't know that he is actually "rich". Anyone can make that claim. In any case please do not date someone who says he doesn't find you attractive and has low standards. How insulting. Ugh!

[1966Seahorse]

Hi ireallyloved him,

 

You say ....

 

"So I've been talking to a guy online who tells me that I'm not objectively attractive ..."

 

"he's willing to date me because he has low standards ..."

 

"Basically I'll just have to treat him like a king then I'll get rewarded for it ..."

 

"Even while talking online he's shown that he has a short fuse and anger issues, so I wouldn't feel exactly physically safe with him either ..."

 

"Is there really anything bad about dating a guy you don't like and vice versa for the money ..."

 

I really am lost for words ..... run, just RUN ..... and don't look back .... concentrate on working to improve YOU.

 

Good luck x

[kendahke]

Should I date a guy who treats me poorly and doesn't think I'm attractive?

 

I stopped reading here at the title of this post and just have to do this: Ò_ó

 

If your daughter asked you this, what would you tell her?

Edited September 30, 2017 by kendahke

[Hoosfoos]

He is lying.

[mortensorchid]

I read everything the both of you have to say, and it's DEPRESSING in all caps. Why would anyone want to be with someone who comes into it saying "You're the first available to come along, and I could care less what you look like, are about, etc. I just want to have a warm body next to me."? If and when you are with someone like this under these circumstances, it may be okay in the short term (you want someone with you, you are lonely, etc.). Long term it will be problematic. Because you/the other will want something else or different things.

 

Don't get into this, you WILL be sorry.

[joseb]

If he was rich and wanted a sugar baby he would employ someone he found attractive. This makes no sense, something is definitely not adding up.

[preraph]

This sounds really messed up. Honestly, he sounds like a pimp or a john. Don't do this. Get two jobs and take yourself to a restaurant for Chrissake.

[spiderowl]

He does not have a good attitude and clearly does not know how to treat women. If he treated women with more respect, he would not be lonely. I suspect that he is bending the truth here. If he is lonely and rich, he is probably lonely because he is abusive. He has started off by denigrating you and he has a short fuse. These are classic signs of an abusive personality.

 

If you want someone rich, then look out for someone else or join a sugar daddy site. This guy has real issues and sounds dangerous to me. He is not worth the risk.

[oldbutcurious]

If you ever decided to go, make sure he provides you a paid insurance policy, and since he is rich, you might as well request you hire your own bodyguard (he must pay for it) everytime you go out, so you get protected.

 

Just be yourself when you do, give respect, be honest, when you need to ask anything at all, ask. Don't forget some important phrases, excuse me, I'm sorry, thank you.

[1966Seahorse]

ireallylovedhim - your post has so many reg flags you could open up your own flag shop .... please ignore and move on.

[healing light]

Literally my first thought reading this is that this is how murderers catch their bait.

[coolheadal]

So I've been talking to a guy online who tells me that I'm not objectively attractive, but he's willing to date me because he has low standards and he's lonely. Normally any person with an ounce of self respect would say no, but the thing is, his parents are rich and he's offering me to spoil me if I date him. Now I'm REALLY strapped for cash and could use the extra money. Not only is he offering me money if I meet him, but he promised to take me on expensive vacations, trips, shopping sprees, and rent out luxurious 5 star hotels and restaurants for us. I'm so poor I've never even been to a real restaurant in my life. When he talks to me about the decadent rich people food he eats, I'm confused since I've never even heard about those foods.

 

He says he doesn't care about looks and cares more about personality and how he's treated. Basically I'll just have to treat him like a king then I'll get rewarded for it, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. I'm not even sure if he can follow through with his promises. Even while talking online he's shown that he has a short fuse and anger issues, so I wouldn't feel exactly physically safe with him either.

 

But I'm still considering it. I mean I know I'm not attractive. Guys don't approach me and never hit on me. I never get any boyfriend offers from men, especially not rich men who can give me what I desperately need: money. So compounded with my need for money, I'm also deprived of love, attention, and self esteem.

 

Is there really anything bad about dating a guy you don't like and vice versa for the money? I think about it this way: you get disrespected at a low wage job (think manual labor) by your supervisors, people outside of work treat you worse once they find out you have a crappy job, you lose dignity, AND you have to wake up to an alarm and perform back breaking, grueling work for hours on end. With this rich guy, I can get paid and experience a taste of the rich lifestyle just for cuddling with him and lying on my back. That sounds like a better deal to me, but I don't know. I've never done it before.

 

Does anyone have any experience with this? Thoughts?

 

Sounds like a small town girl going to meet Mr Rich? But you don't really know if he's really have money or also poor like you. If he has anger and temper issues, then best you don't go out with him. Because that shows he can be verbal abuse at you when you mess up in his face. Why do you think he's willing to take you as is. He can't get what he wants because of his behavior. Money means so much to you get a job and work for it. Find a guy who love you for you are not just because they just settle for you.