She left me for her ex, will she come back ???

[teammagma]

I'll apologize in advance for this long message but I wanna share my story.

 

Back in July, i met this cool chick while working. And we connected. Couple weeks later we got together for ice cream (I'm 20 (june 26) she just turned 20 (aug 27) then went back to my place and some magic happened. It was outstandingly amazing!

 

So we're in the talking stage and about a month in (we dated/talked for 2 months) everything changes, it's exactly like a relationship, a perfect one at that. I mean going out, taking pictures, some nude some non nude lol, meeting parents, snapchatting on the daily, spending the night, going to the doctor yykno, she'd come with me to hang out with my friends , when she didn't have to & vice versa. And if i said i was having a bad day she'd be at my door quicker than u can say crikey lmao. Let me say that sex was amazing! It's also important. So fast forward

 

One day (around 1 month and a week) she said down there wasn't feeling well. We went to the doctor, she got tested, 2 days later turns out she got Chlamydia.

Yikes!

(The night she told me this in person, she swore up and down that I was gonna "break up" with her because of it. I told her I'm no where near that shallow to leave over something like like that , I mean she got her medication so she's clamclam free lol. That night her mom also called her to see if I broke up her and of course i didn't. You guys should know her relationship with her mom is that of twin sisters, or girl bestfriends, her mom knew i was pounding the crap out of her but regardless her mom LOVES the crap outta me, always telling her that I'm the best person for her and her friends always asked how tf she got me. She also showed her mom like all of my vlogs on youtube and she can't get enough of em)

 

So I'm over here thinking Got dammit i must have it too! during this time period she's sorta assuming i gave it to her, ( i checked with everyone in my past, and they were clean, or so they say) she swore she couldn't have gotten it from anyone else) So i went and got tested, now while waiting on the results to come in, let's say a week later she wanted to see me.

 

Turns out she wanted to break up with me due to the fact that "school was starting" and some other bs reasons. She said she hoped we could be friends

I told her "i'm not saying I don't want you in my life, but friends can't do this" I then proceeded to make out with her and pull her inside and basically seduced her. (not sex thou obviously the results didn't come in yet)

 

The next day I said to myself, there had to have been an underlying reason as to why tf she wanted to break up in the first place. So i met up with her and we had a conversation. Turns out she messaged her ex when she got clamclam and they had been talking for about a week at this point & she didn't know if she wanted to get back with him or start new with me. I didn't throw a biitchfit, instead i just said listen,personally i wouldn't go back to an ex and just because you're not sure doesn't mean we have to stop everything, lets keep doing us and we'll see what happens. We agreed everything is going great.

 

The following week I took her out to dinner again and things we're great, we went back to my place and she went down on me, twas fantastico lol. we then cuddled spoke about what we liked about each other, she stated we're the same person, we click etc. (And i mean literally the way we act,think etc. is about 90% equal)

 

I DON'T HER FROM HER FOR 2 DAYS

This is coming from someone who constantly blows up my phone. I tried not to sweat it as I'm kinda used to NC, but i lowkey freaked, I played it off and just acted cool, by sending her funny memes to spark a convo and she'd call me or facetime me later on in the night. Always stating she was so busy, kinda overdoing it.

 

So a couple days after that, I tried to get her to meet up with me to talk, she stated she was TOO BUSY with friends so she couldn't and i asked a couple more times, lowkey over reacted. she said she could the next day, then asked what it was about, I told her "don't worry about it. We'll talk to tomorrow" The next day she initiates the meet up and I was originally gonna sorta give her an ultimatum in a sense, but instead I told her "I had some things going on, she was the first person I thought of, but i get it, she was busy, i over reacted"

 

She asked what it was about, i said "i don't feel like bringing it up again" she insisted, I said the same thing, she said "Okay, I thought it was a "We" problem, if it was a "you" problem you should have called" THen I said, it wasn't a we problem, but I was at work etc. So after that we had small talk made out a bit and it ended on a happy note.

 

NOW THE MAIN IMPORTANT PART

Note* She works literally 4 mins away from me, and lives 15 mins away from me

 

That day we met up was a Sunday, She was headed out of town to visit her mom. I asked when she'd be back and she said probably tuesday. I said cool so we can finish watching a movie we started. She agreed!

 

TUESDAY

I reach out ask if we can get together today or tomorrow (wednesday). she had too much work to come over. I give her the benefit of the doubt. later on around 11pm She then calls me and says if she finishes her homework,then she'll come over on wednesday. And she'll let me know in the morning.

 

WEDNESDAY

Nothing from her. I reach out we're talking fine. phone calls everything, I could tell something was off, BUT I said yhkno what. Just trust, give her the benefit of the doubt. Take her word for it. Long story short we set a date for Friday.

 

THURSDAY

We talk, all day phone calls etc, cool.

 

FRIDAY

My mom goes to (let's say my ex's name is Emma) workplace to workout, it's a gym. Emma sends me snapchats with my mom and blows tf outta my phone. I loved it. Of course I was excited to see her that night. We had both agreed to meet up and she was just as enthusiastic as me!

 

We we're supposed to meet up at around 9:30pm after I got off work but at 8:15pm she sends this message

(Note * We'd say I adore/admire you, instead of I love you)

 

"John to be honest I don't think it's a good idea for me to come over tonight. I'm not someone who can give you 100% at this moment and you deserve that. You deserve to be treated the best. I just don't want to hurt you. You are amazing I promise and if this was a year ago or possibly a year from now we would probably be in a very strong relationship. I hate to do this over text but if I see you I fall for you all over again and I just can't do that for the sake of you. I know you like me a lot and I like you a lot too. I adore you. But the timing of this isn't right for me. I might be making a mistake, well I probably am, and i feel very selfish but I don't want to drag you along in my emotional rollercoaster. And I know you probably hate me and probably don't want to talk to me again and I understand that but please know I'm always here for you if you need anything! You are an amazing person and I know I'm being stupid by letting you go but I feel like I need to. I'm learning to go with my gut feeling and this is it. I'm sorry"

 

 

I then call her, and get her to agree to just talking it out in person. (Note, i didn't beg or plead, or act like a beta male, Just stated we should just talk it out) She agreed. Said she'd be over at 10.

 

Then at 8:40 hit me with this

 

"I'm not coming over tonight.

I'm sorry John. I just need some time alone to think about this. I'm just going to go home tonight, talk with my mom, get some advice and we can meet up when I get back and talk about this. I want to make the right decision for once in my life"

 

I said

 

"Okay, enjoy your night. See ya around"

 

So I do NC for a week, which brings us back to friday again.

 

I message her on snapchat, basically saying after everything, like the any issues we've had before we should talk it through, no matter what happens, because I'm not interested in burning any bridges due to childish things.

 

She agreed. Asked me how my week was. We talked for a little bit, Set the time and date to meet up which would have been sunday. and it was set in stone! Or so I thought.

 

SUNDAY!

 

She sent this

 

"John honestly I'm really thinking about getting back with Greg and I don't feel like it's right to see you tonight. I'm sorry.

 

I said

"Alright, thanks for taking the easy way out, completely disregarding me and not even having the guts to speak to me face to face. I hope it works out for you "

 

She Replied

 

"I'm not purposely trying to take the easy way out. I just don't know how I will feel if I see you and I already made up my mind and I don't want it to be changed. I'm sorry

And like I said, you deserve a lot better than me I promise. I'm doing you a favor "

 

I said

 

"Ok Emma. Have a good one"

 

That was 11 days ago. I've been NC since then. We haven't deleted each other from Snapchat.(That's all she uses, I'm sure) She doesn't view my stories thou. And I know she's active because her snap score keeps going up.

 

What kills me is that we never had a single argument, of course we had disagreements but those were nothing, we'd talk about it and move on immediately.

 

She dated him for 7 months, and me for 2. She left him because he was SUPER clingy and had 0 drive to do anything in life. We also met like a month after their breakup, whilst my last breakup was like 8 months ago, and boy I was an emotional wreck!

 

I figured it was one of those situations where they lose exactly what's right for them because they're so stuck on the past. I guess you can say I was the rebound. Sort of a rebound. But it was perfect so I'm like WTF!

 

So I'm still gonna be doing NC of course. Haven't heard from her, but I'm almost sure shell be back. THanks for reading my story! I'll definitely keep you guys update!

 

And One last thing!

 

What do yall think I should do if she comes back?

 

My head tells me drop it completely move on.

 

My Heart tells me just take it SUPER SLOW

 

But I also know that the trust would take so much to rebuild, and I ask myself..

 

Is it worth it?

[Jchav123]

You guys are both young. Her heart is fleeting right now and it seems she knows enough about herself to distance herself from you because she does have feelings for you. That's something at least.

 

The question is IF she did come back to you for friends/relationship/etc. could you do it? IF it's a relationship could you trust her not to leave you for her ex again? Or if it's friends could you handle knowing she is doing things with him when you guys aren't hanging out?

 

Luckily this was a short term relationship for you and it sounds like you were the rebound. But if experience has taught me anything going back to an ex so soon rarely works. She wants the familiarity then if nothing has changed, she will split with him again and probably be knocking on your door soon after.

 

What do you want out of this? You can count on yourself to make you happy. You can't count on her or anyone else. People you date are compliments to your happiness. Do you for a while and really determine when she comes back to "talk", do you want to risk it or just move on? If it were me, I would move on.

[teammagma]

You guys are both young. Her heart is fleeting right now and it seems she knows enough about herself to distance herself from you because she does have feelings for you. That's something at least.

 

The question is IF she did come back to you for friends/relationship/etc. could you do it? IF it's a relationship could you trust her not to leave you for her ex again? Or if it's friends could you handle knowing she is doing things with him when you guys aren't hanging out?

 

Luckily this was a short term relationship for you and it sounds like you were the rebound. But if experience has taught me anything going back to an ex so soon rarely works. She wants the familiarity then if nothing has changed, she will split with him again and probably be knocking on your door soon after.

 

What do you want out of this? You can count on yourself to make you happy. You can't count on her or anyone else. People you date are compliments to your happiness. Do you for a while and really determine when she comes back to "talk", do you want to risk it or just move on? If it were me, I would move on.

 

I 100% agree. You're so right about the short term compliments as well. I not half as heartbroken as i was my last relationship but it still hurts a bit. But as of right now idk just yet. I plan on taking things day by day. Focusing on bettering myself. And heck when she comes back, shoot idk if I'll even wanna do anything, but we'll see haha. Thanks for your opinion!

[Been]

Man come on. She almost gave you an STD. LIED numerous times to you.

You basically let her walk all over you. Going days without contact. Standing you up. I mean your her doormat.

And you really believe this nonsense about the times she told you she wanted to be ALONE to work things out? She was with him.

Oh she will comeback when things don't workout because she knows she can get away with things with you that someone else wouldn't tolerate.

[teammagma]

Man come on. She almost gave you an STD. LIED numerous times to you.

You basically let her walk all over you. Going days without contact. Standing you up. I mean your her doormat.

And you really believe this nonsense about the times she told you she wanted to be ALONE to work things out? She was with him.

Oh she will comeback when things don't workout because she knows she can get away with things with you that someone else wouldn't tolerate.

 

I completely understand. I got some tunnel vision going right now lol. I'm not saying I'm just gonna pounce on her the minute she hits my line, i have other options . But I'm open to the possibility of things actually working out. The trust has already been broken. That's why I'm saying if i take time to rebuild MAYBE it can work. It's obvious thats trust is number 1 but sh*t. And i was never her doormat, never put her on a pedestal, was never clingy. She said herseld I'm the least clingy dude she's ever been with. Like i said i gave her the benefit of the doubt to see what she was about. The truth hurts thou. That's facts

[Miss Spider]

Yuck. Why on Earth would you want someone like this back. So she can cheat on you again and really burn you with clam or siph this time? Talk about lq

[teammagma]

Yuck. Why on Earth would you want someone like this back. So she can cheat on you again and really burn you with clam or siph this time? Talk about lq

 

Haha that's funny. Like i said. Take it slow. And she was unaware she had it.

[Been]

Never her doormat? Funny because if your seriously dating someone you at least contact them daily-she on certain days chose not to even bother with that.

She broke up with you admitted to talking with her ex WHILE she was with you and you........take her out to dinner.

She suppose to meet up with you and cancels a number of times.

And the STD- I'm thinking she didn't have that right off the bat when you two met because you would have gotten it so she contracted it when??+

Not trying to give you a hard time. Sometimes your too close to the situation to see what's going on.

[teammagma]

Never her doormat? Funny because if your seriously dating someone you at least contact them daily-she on certain days chose not to even bother with that.

She broke up with you admitted to talking with her ex WHILE she was with you and you........take her out to dinner.

She suppose to meet up with you and cancels a number of times.

And the STD- I'm thinking she didn't have that right off the bat when you two met because you would have gotten it so she contracted it when??+

Not trying to give you a hard time. Sometimes your too close to the situation to see what's going on.

 

I definitely see it now...i definitely do. I guess i just wanted it to work out. And you're right about that. And no worries. Tough love is needed. About the std thou, We'd always use protection so I'm sure she had it before. But that's heree nore there at this point for now. But thanks for your input man. Real eye-opener

[Marc878]

You need to value yourself more. This isn't worth your time.

[teammagma]

ALSO! Just wanted to clarify! My std tests came back negative! So i know she didn't get it from me!