ExposedBrick Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 I am trying to avoid a double book or getting flaked on. I have messaged a couple of women over the past week back and forth. Woman A has been slow to respond to messages at times. I first messaged her last Tuesday.After three msg exchanges, I asked her if she wanted to get a drink. She told me Wednesday or Thursday would be good. I responded stating Thursday would be good and asked her what part of the city she leaves in to find a mutually convenient location and have her my cell. That was Sunday and she never replied, it's now Tuesday afternoon. She did mention she had a busy week getting ready for a vacation. Woman B I first messaged Saturday. We exchanged 3 msg since then, and I asked if she wanted to meet for a drink. She suggested a couple hours ago Thursday also. I haven't replied yet. I don't want to lose the momentum here with either girl. What should I do? I was thinking if woman A doesn't respond within 48 hours I should just go with B, as woman A seems like a potential flaker.
angel.eyes Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 You could have avoided this dilemma by giving woman B options from the very beginning--a drink on Wednesday or Friday? At this point, I would just counter with: I'm not available Thursday. How does Wednesday or Friday sound? Keep it simple.
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 Make definite plans with B because she is active, responsive & eager. Wait until A contacts you. Then say in light of her failure to confirm in a timely manner you made other plans but you would love to see her for brunch on Sunday or drinks after work next Monday.
Steve51 Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 In my younger days I juggled several girls at a time. I basically asked one girl to let me know by a specific time and/or date. The second girl was told that I need to wait until I find out if my out of town friend, family are coming over or not. If girl A did not respond by the deadline I set, I called girl B and told her that I am free and would life to take her out. Sometimes I had 3 girls at the same time. A few times, and I am not proud of this, I made dates with two girls and canceled on one the last minute when I was sure that the other girl was meeting me.
Author ExposedBrick Posted September 26, 2017 Author Posted September 26, 2017 Make definite plans with B because she is active, responsive & eager. Wait until A contacts you. Then say in light of her failure to confirm in a timely manner you made other plans but you would love to see her for brunch on Sunday or drinks after work next Monday. I like this strategy as A has been too slow to reply. Anything more than 48 hours for an OLD message seems a little too slow. If one of my friends waited over 2 days to reply to an invite, I'd make other plans.
Miss Spider Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 I am trying to avoid a double book or getting flaked on. I have messaged a couple of women over the past week back and forth. Woman A has been slow to respond to messages at times. I first messaged her last Tuesday.After three msg exchanges, I asked her if she wanted to get a drink. She told me Wednesday or Thursday would be good. I responded stating Thursday would be good and asked her what part of the city she leaves in to find a mutually convenient location and have her my cell. That was Sunday and she never replied, it's now Tuesday afternoon. She did mention she had a busy week getting ready for a vacation. Woman B I first messaged Saturday. We exchanged 3 msg since then, and I asked if she wanted to meet for a drink. She suggested a couple hours ago Thursday also. I haven't replied yet. I don't want to lose the momentum here with either girl. What should I do? I was thinking if woman A doesn't respond within 48 hours I should just go with B, as woman A seems like a potential flaker. Suggesting dates ahead of time is good. However, everything is up in the air to me until the night before the date. That is when things become official via confirmation! Waiting is a good idea Woman A doesn't seem that interested. I would not be surprised if you never hear from her again or she flakes.
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 Suggesting dates ahead of time is good. However, everything is up in the air to me until the night before the date. That is when things become official via confirmation! Waiting is a good idea Some people are planners & need things in order in advance. Personally when I was dating my husband, I was super busy -- FT job, with some night hours; PT job; & serving on multiple boards of trustees. My calendar was full. If you were not on it in advance you weren't seeing me. Very rarely would something fall apart so that I could do something last minute. IMO, if somebody can't make a concrete plan, I can't be bothered to wait around for them. 1
Miss Spider Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 (edited) Some people are planners & need things in order in advance. Personally when I was dating my husband, I was super busy -- FT job, with some night hours; PT job; & serving on multiple boards of trustees. My calendar was full. If you were not on it in advance you weren't seeing me. Very rarely would something fall apart so that I could do something last minute. IMO, if somebody can't make a concrete plan, I can't be bothered to wait around for them. I completely understand that. Some people are that way. But often clashes with (efficient) multi-dating style. It's a balancing act. People like that (need solid plans) drop out often, UNLESS they are high priority ie you like them a lot more than anyone else. They come to the fore of your schedule. Otherwise, when multi-dating, ESPECIALLY when you've never met and people are extremely flakey and you're weighing options, I prefer making vague plans asap then confirming a night or two before. Edited September 26, 2017 by Cookiesandough
Author ExposedBrick Posted September 26, 2017 Author Posted September 26, 2017 I completely understand that. Some people are that way. But often clashes with (efficient) multi-dating style. It's a balancing act. People like that (need solid plans) drop out often, UNLESS they are high priority ie you like them a lot more than anyone else. They come to the fore of your schedule. Otherwise, when multi-dating, ESPECIALLY when you've never met and people are extremely flakey and you're weighing options, I prefer making vague plans asap then confirming a night or two before. Girl A replied like two hours after firming up B. Now, I'm probably screwed on one or both! Ugh! The foibles of OLD
act00 Posted September 27, 2017 Posted September 27, 2017 I guess it's too little to late to chime in, but I was going to say to make a plan with B, as she is proactive. Unless there's something about Woman A that makes you want to plan around her...and suffer the consequences of her not being available...(no date with anyone) make plan a with B. The early bird gets the worm. If Woman A comes around, which she did, then the only thing you can do is state that after not hearing from her, you made other plans. Suggest an alternate day...perhaps she's still available tomorrow (Wednesday)....maybe the weekend. Woman A had to deal with vacation and a busy week. Do you think she was also waiting on Guy A or Guy B to respond to when the guy would be available and was doing the same as you? Planning around his availability? It's possible. So you end up waiting...don't wait. I've been in this place, and I've reached a point that I'm going to make a plan with the people who are available, whether it's a BBQ at my friend's or the guy I've shared a couple texts with, and I'm really at a point where I don't want to wait around for "so busy" anymore. I find it hard to believe that someone is so busy they have no idea if they can carve out 1-2 hours on a Wednesday, and if her life is truly that topsy-turvy, stay in touch and maybe plan a backup...I don't know, but to fall off the planet for several days and then saying, "Okay, guess I have the time now," killed the momentum. We all suffer consequences, and hers will be not grabbing your time when she had the chance. If she's interested and you're interested, there will be other times.
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