lurker74 Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 OK, here's a new one for me. I started chatting with a new woman on Bumble. We hit it off really well...she's funny and intelligent and is a redhead, which I have a Freudian weakness for because my mother was a redhead. I meet her and I'd say i'm attracted to her at a 6 or 7 on a scale of 1-10 (my attraction level, I'm not rating her). So, not hot and bothered but enough. And when we meet and do our first date, the conversation is super easy and I see where things are headed. On the way back to her place, she asks me to come in and I say sure, but there will be no sex because I don't believe in first date sex. She's clearly disappointed but agrees, commenting how weirdly comfortable we are together (to which I agree). Anyway, we do some kissing and some pretty heavy petting and other stuff but I refuse to undo my pants. Still, we have a good time and she has a good time twice. After her second good time, we are making out again, I pause, pull back, and look at her. She's beaming ear to ear and it hits me. She looks exactly like my sister. So I freak a bit in my head and calm down, shut things down, and say goodnight. I figured it was just the lighting and we get along so well that I decide to set it aside. We text and talk for a few more days and then this past Friday I see her after dinner with some friends. Talking is super easy and we get along well. I escort her to her car, kiss her goodnight, pull back, and get hit by it again. She's the spitting image of my sister. I know that I will never be able to consummate the relationship so now I'm facing having to tell her. But two things...am I an Ahole for using this as the reason and what do I say? I'm at a total loss!
GunslingerRoland Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 I don't think it's totally abnormal to be physically interested in people that look similar to us. My wife and I could probably pass for siblings. If she looks just like your sister though, then yeah that would be creepy, but the similarity can't be that close if you didn't realize it during the time you were with her.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 I don't think it's totally abnormal to be physically interested in people that look similar to us. My wife and I could probably pass for siblings. If she looks just like your sister though, then yeah that would be creepy, but the similarity can't be that close if you didn't realize it during the time you were with her. Ha! My ex-H and I could pass for siblings too. Many moons ago when we were engagement ring shopping I recall an uncomfortable conversation with one of the jewelers who was marveling how much we looked like brother/sister. I was like, "I swear we are not!!" OP, it's definitely an odd reason to end a relationship, but hopefully she will understand! I don't have a brother, but if I did, I'm not sure I'd be able to think of a potential lover the same after realizing he was the spitting image of him.
kendahke Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 No, I don't think you're an a-hole. It would mess with my head, too, if a guy I was contemplating getting amorous with looked like my brother. I'd be straight up with her and show her a picture of your sister and tell her that you look too much like her for you to be able to get your head past it. 2
LivingWaterPlease Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 no could do (date man who looks like my brother)
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