Zephyr45 Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 I know this topic must get beaten to death and that there is a similar one on the first page about it, but of course my situation is just a bit different enough to warrant it's own thread. Or so I think. I've got a date with a girl friend of mine that I've known for a handful of years now - through part of high school, college and working life. Our relationship has always been a little awkward and on-again off-again because at various times one of use liked the other while the other one did not/could not (involved with someone else... etc). So we were just casual friends but anything beyond that just never worked, until now. We're both single, more grown up and we both have feelings for each other. So, now it's time we go out on a real Date. I'd like to sort of sweep her off her feet (or give it my best shot) and also reinforce the idea that this particular outing is a real date, unlike other outings we've had as just friends. So, one thing I want to do is bring her some sort of gift when I show up at the door. I thought this was a no-brainer until I read the other thread about a guy wanting to bring flowers for his first date and most of you recommend he not bring flowers, or anything for that matter (which surprised me). I think my situation is different since we already know each other and I'm not using the gift to try to "win her over" but make her feel special about this being a real date. I've never showed up at her door with any gifts before so that's the whole reason for doing it this time. Do you agree? No? Presuming you feel a small gift is appropriate, then here is my real question: What should I bring her? I consider flowers a last resort - a bit to cliche I feel. But if that was the concensus here, then I'll consider it. My other ideas were something like a small stuffed animal type thing or a food item such as a smaller version of one of those big cookies you can usually buy in the mall, with her name on it. I'm not particularly sold on either of these, so that's where I need help. What are some great gifts you've given or received? Thanks
johnnyboy4ever Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 I'm no expert, by any means. And I'm a guy. What you really need is a girls advice, but I'd like to throw an idea out there, that sounds perfect to me, that I hope other will agree with. FlowerS are a bad idea. Flower(period), may be a good idea. Flowers are bulky, you can't show them off (except to house guests), and really are a "last resort". Find a rose bush, clip a single red rose (must be red, maybe pink, or something to match her outfit if u know what she'll be wearing) and give it to her, perhaps ask her to bring it along, or instead, adorn it to her (with her permission of course). Then give her a small gift. Guessing that you all are in your late 20's, a small jewelery gift would be a bad idea. A cookie or some type of food might turn sour too (stupid weight conscoius country). My suggestion in something that you all have history with. A cd containing a song you all liked to sing, or an item that represents an activity you all did in the past, or just any object, under about $40, that you could bring to say "remember this?" Something she can cherish, it could even be something similar to something you gave her in the past, or something to remind her of the past, or a moment you all had together. Maybe even something that reminds her of something she liked about you or something you liked about her. If you like this idea, post a few objects, and their significance.
JanieQP Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 If you've known each other for this long, and you have the feeling you can get behind giving her flowers, I say just go with the flowers, man! And you've been inside her house already, right? So it's not a big deal if she 'has' to invite you in or make you wait while she puts the flowers in water - am I reading that right? Don't spend too much money, just a simple bouquet of all of one kind of flower (from the florist, not the gas station) and don't make a big deal out of it. That'll definitely give her the date message. I've received flowers on a first date only once, from a friend of my roommate when I was in college, and the guy handled it really classily. (Have gotten flowers from various men since then, some more expensive than the bouquet of tulips with lemon grass this guy brought, but I've never been so touched.) Unfortunately, I was exhausted and getting sick so I was a complete zombie. I really really liked the guy, but was under a lot of pressure at school and was battling depression and just never followed up. So hey if Ethan the bass player is out there, know that you rock! It wasn't the flowers that deep-sixed what could have been, it was just me being a dolt.
Author Zephyr45 Posted August 15, 2005 Author Posted August 15, 2005 Originally posted by johnnyboy4ever If you like this idea, post a few objects, and their significance. I do, and I'm aware something personalized of that nature would probably be the killer gift, I'm just not sure what I can come up with. The few things that we share a history with don't seem to really lend themselves to a date gift off hand, and it seems any gift of that nature would be more of a comical one. Which could be great, but I'm feeling like I should come in here taking the romantic, rather than comedic, angle. Anyhow, I'll rack my brain and if I come up with some potentials I'll post back for some further review and advice. Originally posted by JanieQP If you've known each other for this long, and you have the feeling you can get behind giving her flowers, I say just go with the flowers, man! And you've been inside her house already, right? So it's not a big deal if she 'has' to invite you in or make you wait while she puts the flowers in water - am I reading that right? Don't spend too much money, just a simple bouquet of all of one kind of flower (from the florist, not the gas station) and don't make a big deal out of it. That'll definitely give her the date message. You are definitely reading it right. I was in her bedroom the other day. There are no logistical issues with (a) flower(s) that I can think of, other than the fact that I personally like to give/receive unique gifts moreso than common ones. But you are right, flowers are the no-brainer solution for driving home the idea that it's a real date and not a just friends thing. And for that reason, they could make a better gift than some other trinket that might really be more cute/funny than romantic/datish. Tough choices. Thanks for the advice both of you!
JanieQP Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 Let us know what you choose and how this goes, okay Zephyr? I still have a thing of Silly Putty a guy gave me when I was a freshman in college. I thought that was =so= cool, but I didn't realize that the hockey game we attended was a date until he told me so a few years later. But dang, I've hung onto that Silly Putty! edited to say I'm really old now, this Silly Putty is almost 14 years old and I still play w/ it sometimes.
Author Zephyr45 Posted August 17, 2005 Author Posted August 17, 2005 Originally posted by Star Gazer Argh, why are men so against bringing a woman flowers on a date?!?!?!?! BRING HER FLOWERS. Ha! Well I am leaning more in that direction than I was at first. Originally posted by JanieQP Let us know what you choose and how this goes, okay Zephyr? I still have a thing of Silly Putty a guy gave me when I was a freshman in college. I thought that was =so= cool, but I didn't realize that the hockey game we attended was a date until he told me so a few years later. But dang, I've hung onto that Silly Putty! LoL. Now I bet you would have thought "hmm, this is a date then?" if the guy brought you flowers huh? I think I'll have to stay away from a 'Silly' gift like that although it is neat that those are the ones that you can keep for years to remember it by. Flowers are looking better and better now. I will post back with any updates and the final results, however this date might be a couple weeks away due to some scheduling conflicts. Stay tuned.
crazy_grl Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 I think johnnyboy has the right idea. I prefer genuine, meaningful gifts over generic ones like flowers. If you bring her one red rose and a gift that means something, even if it's comical, the rose signifies the date status and the other gift shows her that you got something special just for her. To me, just flowers is too impersonal for someone you've known so long and a bouquet and gift seems overboard. A single red rose and gift sounds about right. You said you've liked each other off and on for years, so think back to the times when one or both of you might have been feeling the more-than-friends vibe. Then think of something that might remind her of that. Even if she doesn't get it and you have to explain the meaning of it, at least it'll be meaningful. Or give her something you know she'll like, maybe something she's mentioned wanting. As long as the comical gift is the right type of humor, I think even that might work. Any guy can give her flowers; you can give her something special. That's what will sweep her off her feet. Why don't you post the list of things you can think of and we can give you our opinions.
JanieQP Posted August 18, 2005 Posted August 18, 2005 Originally posted by crazy_grl A single red rose and gift sounds about right. Maybe it's just me, but =two= items would really ring my trying-too-hard chimes.
Recommended Posts