Miss Spider Posted October 13, 2017 Posted October 13, 2017 She hasn't starting dating you, you're just one of the orbiters/guys she was flirting with as her relationship started failing. And now you have her number. Yes, it's monkeyvranching...these people can't be alone. . If you're lucky, she may in fact date you and give you a shot at taking #1 spot as rebound and perhaps be there when she goes back and sleeps with her ex!!! 1
Author Bantosm Posted October 13, 2017 Author Posted October 13, 2017 I did not make a generalization about all women. Based on your posts I gave you my opinion interpreting her behaviors that you shared.You gave false assumptions about her that were purely negative yet label me insulting for using a general term. Let's review: This woman lied to you about her status & what she wants. To avoid the awkwardness of her having to tell you that she doesn't like you that way, she mentioned the BF. While that can be an indication of romantic interest, once she mentioned her BF she was not so subtly telling you that she only wants a friendship. If you were willing to make false assumptions with her then it's likely you did the same with other women in various threads. She has now broken up with her BF & transitioned seamlessly into a relationship with you.Wrong. She and I haven't even gone on a date yet you have her and I involved in a relationship. There has been no time for reflection. She moved from one guy to the next with no gap. What is she supposed to do go on a 6 month sabbatical?
d0nnivain Posted October 13, 2017 Posted October 13, 2017 I'm just gonna bow out. Live your life the way you see best.
TheTraveler Posted October 13, 2017 Posted October 13, 2017 This is your opportunity OP She's asking to spend time with you, etc Time to make a move and go for it i.e. kiss her, make out with her, sex, whatever The more you wait, you'll end up in the friendzone
Author Bantosm Posted October 13, 2017 Author Posted October 13, 2017 What she is doing is monkey-branching. She doesn't bother to spend any time on her own between relationships. Could be because she can't stand her own company, she feels less-than without some man and any man will do to fill the void until the next one presents himself.Yeah not exactly.when a girl already has a boyfriend but she gives her number to guys that she meets and flirts as if she were single. Urban Dictionary: Monkey Branching She didn't have a boyfriend when she gave me her number. You don't seem to know the basic definition of monkey branching yet you expect me to listen to your thoughts on psychology, nope. And BTW--human nature never changes. We don't have to know her to recognize dysfunctional behavior patterns based upon what you chose to share about her.To label rebounding which is very common as dysfunctional behavior is disgraceful. You're making light of the seriousness of dysfunctional behavior.
Author Bantosm Posted October 18, 2017 Author Posted October 18, 2017 This is your opportunity OP She's asking to spend time with you, etc Time to make a move and go for it i.e. kiss her, make out with her, sex, whatever The more you wait, you'll end up in the friendzoneYou're right. I'm planning on seeing her about once a week, taking it a bit slow. I know she's coming out of a relationship with a good friend so I need to be cautious.
coolheadal Posted October 18, 2017 Posted October 18, 2017 You're right. I'm planning on seeing her about once a week, taking it a bit slow. I know she's coming out of a relationship with a good friend so I need to be cautious. She needs time on her own away from you. There is no quick solution to this one. It's up to you to wait on her until she can be free again. She's coming out of relationship she can't just go into another one with you. Doesn't work like that you just don't know what the heck your getting into with this one. So be very cautions.
OatsAndHall Posted October 18, 2017 Posted October 18, 2017 She is clearly Monkey Branching, my friend. She started conveniently hanging out with you in the weeks before she broke up with her boyfriend. No, not all women do this. In fact, most don't... Most women will move slowly from one relationship to another and take time to process the break-up. You say that you're not concerned with what "might happen"; kudos. But, don't post an update or a new thread on here if you turn out to be the next branch on the tree. 2
Erik30 Posted October 18, 2017 Posted October 18, 2017 (edited) "Going shopping" doesn't really scream date to me, seems more like something she would be doing with her girlfriends, but I could be wrong. Just make your intentions clear if she asks to hang out, so you don't turn into a shoulder for her to cry on until she gets over her ex. (And end up in the friendzone) Don't be surprised if you become a rebound though... Edited October 18, 2017 by Erik30 1
Author Bantosm Posted October 19, 2017 Author Posted October 19, 2017 She needs time on her own away from you. There is no quick solution to this one. It's up to you to wait on her until she can be free again. She's coming out of relationship she can't just go into another one with you. Doesn't work like that you just don't know what the heck your getting into with this one. So be very cautions.Why does she need time away from me? It's not like I'm a controlling bf and she needs time away to figure things out. She got out of the relationship on her own accord to be with me. Everything I've implied has been about taking things slowly I'm not sure where you get: "She's coming out of relationship she can't just go into another one with you." She is clearly Monkey Branching, my friend. She started conveniently hanging out with you in the weeks before she broke up with her boyfriend. No, not all women do this. In fact, most don't... Most women will move slowly from one relationship to another and take time to process the break-up. You say that you're not concerned with what "might happen"; kudos. But, don't post an update or a new thread on here if you turn out to be the next branch on the tree. I already posted the standard definition of monkey branching and it mentions nothing about hanging out with someone weeks before they breakup. You can't make up any definition that's convenient. Next you'll be insisting that saying hi to someone who's in a relationship is monkey branching. "Going shopping" doesn't really scream date to me, seems more like something she would be doing with her girlfriends, but I could be wrong. Just make your intentions clear if she asks to hang out, so you don't turn into a shoulder for her to cry on until she gets over her ex. (And end up in the friendzone) Shopping was an ideal first date. She and I are still getting to know each other and shopping helped make everything easy. There were a couple of awkward moments mostly because we're not used to one another. She picked out a shirt for me to try on. She went on how it looked great on me but I hated the style of it. I didn't buy and she was a bit hurt. We ran into one of her friends who recommended a movie they just seen. I figured we go and watched the movie and next thing I know she was heading for the door. I thought this doesn't look good but she extended the date once we got back to town. Don't be surprised if you become a rebound though... Along with someone of the other poster's in this thread, your advice has been flat wrong from the very beginning. The fact that you suggest that makes me even more confidant.
Miss Spider Posted October 19, 2017 Posted October 19, 2017 (edited) https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Monkey%20Branching when a girl already has a boyfriend but she gives her number to guys that she meets and flirts as if she were single. she's basically branching off from her boyfriend and establishing backups. So did you guys make out afterwards? Or a peck kiss goodbye? Because taking a guy shopping is something I might do if I viewed a guy as a friend. If didn't want to be alone and needed male validation after a breakup and a male opinion on clothes. . I might throw him a bone by having him try on something too and giggle. If she had a chance to go on a date with one of her celeb crushes, you think she'd drag him shopping with her? I see girls drag their bf/husbands along in misery, but they really have no choice. I actually don't even think I could subject a guy to that esp if I knew he liked me. Seems mean. You come for advice, but you are dismissing it all. You want to believe you are the very small exception to the rule. I genuinely hope you are, but suggest you do not make her your main focus. Best of luck. Edited October 19, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
coolheadal Posted October 19, 2017 Posted October 19, 2017 (edited) You said she's done with the boyfriend how do you know this? I have you been to her place where does she live now? Taking things slow just means she's seeing someone else. This other term MB well sure that happens also. Listen you want to take these chances with a women like her you can do whatever you want if something happens you already know what type advise we gave you. She can do whatever she wants too. Have this guy still in the background and date you and you think you have only to yourself. Stop and listen and learn. Go make sure she'e 100% free not seeing or living with anyone she could be in a relationship still with. Oh cookies said something, she has a very good point there. Listen to her as well as all us.. Your not listening.. Debating how what to do is more like this. If woman or girl said she had someone or didn't say it to you waited a while then told you then that's lie. I am sure she has somethings she's not telling you. Does she have kids with this boyfriend? Edited October 19, 2017 by coolheadal
Erik30 Posted October 19, 2017 Posted October 19, 2017 Why does she need time away from me? It's not like I'm a controlling bf and she needs time away to figure things out. She got out of the relationship on her own accord to be with me. Everything I've implied has been about taking things slowly I'm not sure where you get: "She's coming out of relationship she can't just go into another one with you." I already posted the standard definition of monkey branching and it mentions nothing about hanging out with someone weeks before they breakup. You can't make up any definition that's convenient. Next you'll be insisting that saying hi to someone who's in a relationship is monkey branching. Shopping was an ideal first date. She and I are still getting to know each other and shopping helped make everything easy. There were a couple of awkward moments mostly because we're not used to one another. She picked out a shirt for me to try on. She went on how it looked great on me but I hated the style of it. I didn't buy and she was a bit hurt. We ran into one of her friends who recommended a movie they just seen. I figured we go and watched the movie and next thing I know she was heading for the door. I thought this doesn't look good but she extended the date once we got back to town. Along with someone of the other poster's in this thread, your advice has been flat wrong from the very beginning. The fact that you suggest that makes me even more confidant. Was that even actually a date though... and did she know? But whatever dude, hope it works out for you
Author Bantosm Posted October 19, 2017 Author Posted October 19, 2017 https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Monkey%20Branching Again, she didn't give me her number until that relationship was over so there was no branching off her boyfriend. If you were in a relationship but met someone who you found to be more attractive and had a better chemistry, you wouldn't flirt and try to get to know them? So did you guys make out afterwards? Or a peck kiss goodbye? Because taking a guy shopping is something I might do if I viewed a guy as a friend. If didn't want to be alone and needed male validation after a breakup and a male opinion on clothes. . She and I kissed for awhile but I'm sure you'll downplay that maybe by insisting that only sex on the first date means anything etc. I might throw him a bone by having him try on something too and giggle. If she had a chance to go on a date with one of her celeb crushes, you think she'd drag him shopping with her? I see girls drag their bf/husbands along in misery, but they really have no choice. I actually don't even think I could subject a guy to that esp if I knew he liked me. Seems mean. I suppose she'd go shopping with a celeb. Anyhow, l prefer the shopping date especially early on. You come for advice, but you are dismissing it all. You want to believe you are the very small exception to the rule. I genuinely hope you are, but suggest you do not make her your main focus. Best of luck. There has been useful advice. I was confidant that she and I would end up dating from my past experience but unfortunately that sentiment tends to irritates some and they respond with spiteful advice solely to get likes. Since she brought up her boyfriend, I feel like she is spelling out to you this is platonic lunch. But I could be wrong. Yep you were wrong. You assumed instead of reading the details. Was that even actually a date though... and did she know? But whatever dude, hope it works out for you Unless she happen to materialize at the time and place we planned on it appears to have been a date. These questions are getting silly.
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