jcm 800 Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Hi all, Recently back on the dating scene after many years away. I came across a female Facebook friend that I've known casually gor many years on a dating site. I have been interested in her for a while, but didn't know what her status was, so I never pursued it. We have communicated via Facebook within the last week or so. My question is this - should I contact yer via Facebook because I know her, or do it through the dating site? As I said, I've been out of this for a while, and am not sure what the etiquette is in this situation. I don't want to screw it up.
CryForNoOne Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Do it on the dating site. Seeing her on that site than FB messaging her might seem slightly creepy/stalking even if it isn't. I think it is best to make a casual joke poking fun at the situation like - "Haven't we met before?" or "You look just like someone I know!" Just make sure you're intentions to date her are clear. If you think she has a good sense of humor, you could even be a little aggressive. I don't mean sending dick pics but since you already know each other a cheesy pickup line might actually work really well... 1
Author jcm 800 Posted September 24, 2017 Author Posted September 24, 2017 Ah, hadn't thought of the stalking angle, so glad I asked. I forgot to add that we have numerous mutual friends, so that is adding to my nerves/hesitation about this, but what the hell. The post is on Bumble, so not sure I can send a message, but I'll swipe right and see what happens. Thanks for the advice. 1
act00 Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Contact her through the dating site. This is the venue for dating and I think it would be best work within that boundary.
coolheadal Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Hi all, Recently back on the dating scene after many years away. I came across a female Facebook friend that I've known casually gor many years on a dating site. I have been interested in her for a while, but didn't know what her status was, so I never pursued it. We have communicated via Facebook within the last week or so. My question is this - should I contact yer via Facebook because I know her, or do it through the dating site? As I said, I've been out of this for a while, and am not sure what the etiquette is in this situation. I don't want to screw it up. Most of the women I met on the dating site are on my friends list on Facebook. To me you know they're look you can come out just say hey I see your looking so I am. Since we already know each other why not we go and grab some drinks at Sport Bar or head up at Panera Bread. Talk to her you already know her beyond the dating site why contact her on that. Seems unusually to do that to me. Why hide and play seek that way! Confront her one-on-one with honesty and truth!
BaileyB Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Dating site. Play it casual - "Hey, I didn't know you were single. Is there any chance you would be interested in getting a coffee with me?" She will hopefully be very flattered that you saw her picture and expressed your interest. Good luck to you. 1
CryForNoOne Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Ah, hadn't thought of the stalking angle, so glad I asked. I forgot to add that we have numerous mutual friends, so that is adding to my nerves/hesitation about this, but what the hell. The post is on Bumble, so not sure I can send a message, but I'll swipe right and see what happens. Thanks for the advice. Ah Bumble is a whole other animal. She needs to message you. You may never even know if she sees your profile. You might have to message her on FB...
Author jcm 800 Posted September 24, 2017 Author Posted September 24, 2017 Well, I swiped right, which I assume would give her some kind of message. Not sure. I just joined Bumble last night, so I don't totally know how it works. I'll play it cool and give it some time to see what happens. We're not in a huge town, so if her search criteria is local, I will likely show up. Thanks again for all of your help.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Well, I swiped right, which I assume would give her some kind of message. Not sure. I just joined Bumble last night, so I don't totally know how it works. I'll play it cool and give it some time to see what happens. We're not in a huge town, so if her search criteria is local, I will likely show up. Thanks again for all of your help. I am not familiar with Bumble, but can you not message her?
Author jcm 800 Posted September 24, 2017 Author Posted September 24, 2017 I can definitely message her, and likely will if I don't get a response within the next couple of days.
Erik30 Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 Well, I swiped right, which I assume would give her some kind of message. Not sure. I just joined Bumble last night, so I don't totally know how it works. I'll play it cool and give it some time to see what happens. We're not in a huge town, so if her search criteria is local, I will likely show up. Thanks again for all of your help. So you don't even have a match with her? Because there's no way to send her a message if you're not a match. Bumble works just like Tinder, the only difference here is the girl has to send a guy the first message or the match will expire after 24 hours. Also, she didn't get any notification just because you swiped right on her profile. She'll now come across you're profile, and swipe left or right like you did. You don't have to do anything. If you don't match up with her, assume she's not interested. Don't ask her about it on Facebook, that would just be awkward
SevenCity Posted September 24, 2017 Posted September 24, 2017 So you don't even have a match with her? Because there's no way to send her a message if you're not a match. Bumble works just like Tinder, the only difference here is the girl has to send a guy the first message or the match will expire after 24 hours. Also, she didn't get any notification just because you swiped right on her profile. She'll now come across you're profile, and swipe left or right like you did. You don't have to do anything. If you don't match up with her, assume she's not interested. Don't ask her about it on Facebook, that would just be awkward Not entirely true. Depending on how far apart they live, her age preference, and frequency of her using the app she may never see him. Bumble uses an algorithm that front loads the most right swiped profiles first. She'll have to weed through those if the OP isn't one of them. As you stated he can't message her first - the woman has to initiate. Messaging her on Facebook is only creepy if she's not interested. If she is she'll be happy as it shows the OP likes her enough to be direct. I would say something like "I saw you on bumble - I figured instead of waiting I would ask here if you would like to grab a drink" with some jokes / references in there. If she likes you she'll say yes. If she doesn't you'll have your answer.
rightondude Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 yeah on Bumble unless she's paid for it (which I doubt most women do) you will just be another scrambled face on her list of guys who like her, until she gets to your profile. If she's hot she probably has 100 other guys in that same state currently. I like the line about "I saw you on bumble - I'm sure you have a lot of other likes, so instead of waiting ..."
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 I thought only women could message first on Bumble. Never been on it so not sure. If you can't message her on the dating app go ahead & send a private FB message. mention you saw her on Bumble & ask for the coffee date / 1st drink in that first message. You are already FB friends. It's not like you both need time to get to know each other before that 1st meet.
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