fireflyingaway Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 Needed to share. Going through a tough time, but lesson learned. I met my ex last July. We started talking, "hung out" once and he told me he wasn't ready to pursue anything. Honestly at the time, neither was I. So we went our separate ways and we kept in touch. He'd pop in and out every few weeks to see how I was doing. Communication started to grow around the holidays and we skyped for over two hours on New Years Day. Then a few days later, we met up again. After that we started talking daily and seeing each other regularly. Right before Valentines day he told me he "couldn't commit to me" right now. This continued back and forth for a few weeks. I'd try to decide I wasn't going to take the little bit he was giving me, I wanted commitment, but he'd never truly let me walk away. He never went away. Finally, in Mid-April, he asked me to be his girlfriend. So we spent the summer together. I watched his dog and stayed at his place for ten days while he was visiting his family. We told each other we loved one another. I thought things were moving forward. He was never truly affectionate and that always bothered me. We'd have talks and he'd promised he'd be better, but nothing truly changed. At the end of August we went to meet his family. We took the trip up North and spent a few days with his family. I got a glimpse of the future. Now, on Monday, he ends it. Two weeks after meeting his family, he suddenly realizes he's not "relationship material" right now and "can't give me what I want" . After giving him my everything and working through it all, he ends it. Suddenly. I feel the rug got pulled out from under me. I thought things were moving forward and now it's all gone. He tells me he wants to keep me in his life "as a friend" and will "always be there for me" yet, can't or won't love me. He can't be my boyfriend and he just needs to be single. This has been the most frustrating thing I've ever dealt with romantically, I love him, but I need to learn how to let him go. I did all I could to make it work, but he just can't be the person I need or want him to be.
HarmonyDriven Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 ......but I need to learn how to let him go. I did all I could to make it work, but he just can't be the person I need or want him to be. Sorry you are going thru this, no doubt frustrating and just sad. BUT, at least you found out how he is now and not years from now. Also, when he tells you all these things......BELIEVE him. And your last sentences say it all- Let him go.....he is not the person for you. Take the time you need to heal, make sure you do NO CONTACT, delete any and all contact #s, delete social media, mementos, etc..... Once you are ready, and you will be fine! get back out there and find the right person for you!
Author fireflyingaway Posted September 24, 2017 Author Posted September 24, 2017 Thanks Thats what I am intending on doing. He needs to sort things out for himself and work out his life. I need to let him do that and I need to move on. It's just jarring since we had just taken a trip and met his family. I was under the illusion we were working towards something, but he pulled back. It's hard realizing there is nothing I can do to help the situation. I've tried hard enough. The last week has been rough. I have better and worse moments, but I know I have to do this. It feels lonely, but sometimes, even when we were "together" I felt lonely.
Recommended Posts