jakeenzo93 Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 Ok so about a month ago my ex gf broke up with me. We were together for about a year and a half. I thought we perfect for eachother, we got on at every level and we had planned a future together. We’re still quite young, I’m 23 and she’s 21. However the last few months we had been arguing a lot over different things. We had one big argument and sort of broke up and she said she needed space but she still loved me. The next day I find her with some dude I know screwing in a car. I was devastated but took her back a few weeks later. She said she was sorry and that we weren’t together so she didn’t cheat. She told me she still loved me and we’d try and sort things out. Fast forward a few weeks later and we’re arguing again as I couldn’t trust her. She then meets another one of my friends and dumps me and tellls me she loves him instead. So I’m left here distraught. I still love this girl and is she ever going to come back? She’s my first proper relationship and the worse thing is she literally only lives next door. I’ve tried to talk to her but she doesn’t want to know. Everyone says move on but honestly, I don’t want to. I still love her and always will unconditionall. Up until a few months ago I really thought she was the one. We shared so many good memories together and she always said how I was perfect for her. We may have only been together for 1 year and a half but as she lives next door we saw eachother 24/7. Will she come back?
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 Unconditional love is a flawed concept. Though love isn't logical, we should not bestow our love and care on people who mistreat us. Unfortunately, even if she does come back, she won't stay. She's shown you a couple times now how little respect or considering or investment she has in you. Look at what her actions say. Women who are really into their partners don't behave the way she did. You may not want to move on, but I don't really see what other option you will have. She isn't interested enough anymore to make it work, unfortunately. I am sorry you're going through this; break-ups of first loves are very hard. Stop trying to talk to her; be civil when you run into her but keep serious distance from her.
Maldives Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 She has no respect anymore for u dude her actions show that moving on to ur friend (of all the people to choose she goes for ur friend) and ur friend for that fact hooking up boy get rid of both her and ur so called friend. The rejection is causing the obsession wth her and masking the reality. Give it some time and the haze will lift from ur mind about her.
LostOnes05 Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 MAN!!!! Call your best guy friend and have him slap you about a hundred times...take a 5 minute break and then let him resume again. There is no way that this woman is relationship material. She doesn't respect or love you...and she never will. It's a harsh pill to swallow but you've got to face reality. You're letting your fear of loss override your self-respect and lower your self- esteem. NEVER let someone treat you like that...ive been there and you'll look back and think "what in the world was I thinking". Good luck man but you need to let her go and pretend she never existed.
Cersei Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 No she won't be back. Sorry. But that is a good thing. She sounds like a girl you need to stay far away from.
HiCrunchy Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 Unconditional love is a flawed concept. Though love isn't logical, we should not bestow our love and care on people who mistreat us. Unfortunately, even if she does come back, she won't stay. She's shown you a couple times now how little respect or considering or investment she has in you. Look at what her actions say. Women who are really into their partners don't behave the way she did. You may not want to move on, but I don't really see what other option you will have. She isn't interested enough anymore to make it work, unfortunately. I am sorry you're going through this; break-ups of first loves are very hard. Stop trying to talk to her; be civil when you run into her but keep serious distance from her. I think unconditional love can exist, when the person has not expectation that the love they give will be returned. With an expectation then the love is not unconditional. The thing about unconditional love is that it can exist with boundaries though, people often mistake that. If the person cannot be loved from close they must be loved from afar.
Marc878 Posted September 22, 2017 Posted September 22, 2017 Get some self respect and you won't care. She nothing and probably never will be.
ayoung73 Posted September 27, 2017 Posted September 27, 2017 NO, she will never come back completely! I’m sorry for your situation and I’m sorry for your pain, if I could I’d take it all away from you, but listen to anyone who tells you to move on! She is not the one, unconditional love does not mean you are treated like a doormat, it doesn’t mean you have to put up with abuse, treachery, dishonesty, and disrespect! You are and deserve better from a person, don’t accept convenience over the pleasures of a healthy relationship! A healthy relationship involves love, respect, trust, commitment, honor, loyalty, compromise, and a foundation built upon a friendship. She may love you, but if she respected you, if she was loyal, if she were committed, if she was honoring you she wouldn’t be breaking up with you in favor of another man! Everyone makes mistakes, yes, but repeated behavior as you’ve mentioned isn’t a decision making error, it’s a choice and she is destructive. Please, you sound like a thoughtful and intelligent person who has a lot of love for the right person, move on and wait for the person who truly loves and respects you. Talk to someone professionally or a spiritual person, say your pastor or a therapist…the next year or so may be quite difficult to get over her, but hang in there, your someone is out there waiting for you to find them!
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