wildirishchick Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 (edited) Okay. So my ex and I have been broken up for 2 and 1/2 months. When we first started dating he made a comment about the type of car that I drive. He said he had never paid attention to my type of car before but now that we were dating he always looked as my type of car. Fast forward to Friday. He and I passed each other on a Highway. As we passed each other, we both turned our heads and stared at the other person as we drove by. I know why I stared at him. It's because I'm still in love with him and I miss him like crazy. Why did he stare at me? If he no longer cared about me, wouldn't he just drive on by and not think anything about the car? I don't know. I'm grasping at anything, hoping that he still cares about me and misses me. Any thoughts? Please no mean responses. I'm already hurting enough. Edited September 3, 2017 by wildirishchick
Captivating Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 Hey Wild woman Of course he cares, you guys were dating, meant a lot for each other in the past. These run-ins will put you in his mind wondering about you....how you are....whether you are dating anyone new .... he will start thinking about memories . etc ( memories involving sex ..guys are so predictable ) I do not know you guys or your relationship, so it's hard to say whether he misses you or not. If he would have seen you driving with a guy sitting next to you .... it could have made him mad possibly ...
Author wildirishchick Posted September 3, 2017 Author Posted September 3, 2017 Thanks for your response. He went back to his toxic ex immediately after we broke up, so none of what happened during our relationship or now, after, makes ANY sense to me. We were talking marriage, buying a home together and then BOOM, it was over and he was back with her. So I don't understand why he would be staring at me....
preraph Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 Wondering if you're following him? You are grasping. He left you and went back to his ex. Find a new man.
Author wildirishchick Posted September 3, 2017 Author Posted September 3, 2017 Apparently you've never had a broken heart. Nothing like a douchebag response.
Author wildirishchick Posted September 3, 2017 Author Posted September 3, 2017 Is there any reason an ex needs to talk badly about their ex if they have already moved on? If they are with another person, their ex's name should NEVER be mentioned, right? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 Is there any reason an ex needs to talk badly about their ex if they have already moved on? If they are with another person, their ex's name should NEVER be mentioned, right? Any insight would be greatly appreciated. No kids together? No need to talk about an ex. Even with kids together, no need to badmouth the ex (but do as I say, not as I always do lol )
Author wildirishchick Posted September 3, 2017 Author Posted September 3, 2017 No... no kids together. Why the need to bad mouth me if he has already moved on to his on again off again ex? Is it to make himself feel better about the breakup?
Blanco Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 Her telling you something other than you wanted to hear doesn't make it a "douchebag" response. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 No... no kids together. Why the need to bad mouth me if he has already moved on to his on again off again ex? Is it to make himself feel better about the breakup? Hard to say. Was he hurt by the breakup?
Author wildirishchick Posted September 3, 2017 Author Posted September 3, 2017 Lol.... I have NO clue. He has not spoken 2 words to me since it ended. He got back with his ex literally the next day, so I'm guessing.... NO!!
Author wildirishchick Posted September 3, 2017 Author Posted September 3, 2017 No them ASSUMING that I was following my ex WAS a douchebag response. I have BETTER things to do than follow my ex... but whatever!!
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 Lol.... I have NO clue. He has not spoken 2 words to me since it ended. He got back with his ex literally the next day, so I'm guessing.... NO!! Well, who ended it and why? How long were you together?
Author wildirishchick Posted September 3, 2017 Author Posted September 3, 2017 He had been standoffish the entire day, so I told him to have my belongings at my home the next day, but now I'm hearing he had already been talking to his ex earlier in the day...so he would have ended it if I didn't. We had only been together 5 months, but I truly believed he was "the one" and he told me I was his "person". Clearly all a big f $#@ing lie!! 1
preraph Posted September 3, 2017 Posted September 3, 2017 I don't think there's a standard for that. But it means a person can't let go of things. Of course, that's kind of a trait on a scale. If they can let go too easy, they're not someone who's going to stick with you either. If they hold onto pain like a dog with a bone and haven't any better sense than to unload it more than once (in telling the story one time) to a new steady bf, that's not good form, but it's who they are, so take notes.
Maldives Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 He had been standoffish the entire day, so I told him to have my belongings at my home the next day, but now I'm hearing he had already been talking to his ex earlier in the day...so he would have ended it if I didn't. We had only been together 5 months, but I truly believed he was "the one" and he told me I was his "person". Clearly all a big f $#@ing lie!! Don't worry things wth ex will blow up that's why there an ex it didn't work the 1st time sit back relax and laugh wen he comes back wth his tale between his legs and blow him off and nuke that mofo
Raena Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 I wouldn't say the exes name should NEVER be mentioned. People in relationships do at some point discuss past relationships and why they didn't work out. It's the extreme's that would be concerning. Like spewing vile hatred for an ex or that every ex is "crazy". That would be an extreme. But the other side of it is having nothing but good things to say about an ex. If the ex is such a nice person then why did the relationship end and is this person still pining over their ex? I'd be looking for a happy medium where the person I'm dating is clear that they are no longer interested in any of their exes but also don't hate them and can clearly explain why it didn't work out.
DarrenB Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 I think it's a persona, that's it. They want to make it seem like that the only reason that they're not invested in their lives anymore is because they have all these different flaws and things wrong with them. Basically makes them sound better.
Just a Guy Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 Hi wildirishchick, I'm intrigued by the moniker you've chosen for yourself. Does the wild in it mean what I think it does? Just joking. Seriously though I think you have no reason to feel upset about what your ex is saying about you! I should think his indulging in such talk is a sign of his insecurity and lack of self esteem. It also indicates that he is insensitive. I think that he has done you s big favour by breaking it off with you because had he continued to be in your life he would have disrespected you at some point in the future. I also think he latched up with you on the rebound from his first ex, someone who he seems to be invested in. Rebound relationships never really work out so you are lucky you are out of it and have learnt your lesson. How did you get to know about what he has been saying about you? Was it through mutual friends or from social media platforms? Whichever way you came to know about it, my suggestion would be to avoid these friends and social platforms or, at least, tell your friends you do not want to hear anything about your ex and his gf. How old are you and are you employed? Depending on your answer I would suggest you cultivate a new set of friends who you can move around with and take up some hobbies which will keep you mentally and physically engaged. You should also try and find guys who are solid, dependable, fun to be with and who are secure in themselves. Such guys would never ever treat you the way your ex treated you. From the way you write it comes across that you are a bit introverted and not very self confident. If that be the case then you know the areas that require improvement in your persona. If you cultivate a self confident and self assured attitude and are extroverted and outgoing your personality will go sky high and you will attract the right kind of guys and be able to pick and choose who you want to be with. You will not have to make do with sad sacks of the kind your ex was. Just lighten your spirits and aim to have a good time in life and everything will fall in place. Warm wishes.
kortz Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 He saw someone he knew and looked...absolutely nothing more to it than that. If he saw a friend he'd look too and of course you have history so it was just natural to look. I'm sorry but you're really grasping here. If he missed you and still wanted to be with you he wouldn't have left you for his ex. That's the bottom line.
Author wildirishchick Posted September 4, 2017 Author Posted September 4, 2017 Can someone help me to understand why a man who had been in a wonderful healthy relationship would go back to a toxic situation? He went back to a woman who lied, cheated on him, stole from him, ran his business into the ground, talked bad about his business, talked bad about him. None of his friends or family like her. He has lost business because of her. She has told people that when he touches her it makes her physically sick. He knew she had said that about him. She told people that the only reason that she had stayed with him as long as she had was because of the money. He also news she said that about their relationship. He had told me that she never wanted to have sex with him. He was lucky if he got it once every couple of months. He knew she was a pig and had found out that she had sex with her first cousin. She has no morals. And she literally looks 20 years older than she is. I cannot for the life of me comprehend why he would give up the relationship that he and I had to go back to the toxic situation that he is in. I know from speaking to his daughter that they already had a knock-down-drag-out fight and she punched him in the face. Why would a man choose to be in that kind of situation? And to answer your question do I still love him? Absolutely. We had a wonderful relationship up until the last week or so. Little did I know that he wanted to go back to her and was trying to come up with a way to do so. I'm devastated. I'm trying to figure out why he did what he did. I also understand what an on-again-off-again relationship is about because I had been in one for 11 years as well. My relationship however, was not a toxic one. We merely did not work out as a couple. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
Blanco Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 Toxic relationships are not easy to fully detach from. Nothing you can do, unfortunately, except move forward.
Zul Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 Sometimes our brains know something, or in this case, someone is bad for us.. but our heart still yearns for their presence. Some people, unfortunately, like myself... Are attracted to those types of women. I love finding a woman who is messed up, hateful, hurtful etc.. I don't know why or what it is that makes me want someone like that.
preraph Posted September 4, 2017 Posted September 4, 2017 This may be his normal if he grew up in a similarly dysfunctional household. 1
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