How to forget or even stop loving my ex boyfriend (27) who left me for someone else?

[bluemt001]

I am 24. We were together for 2 years and 10 months. Almost 3 years!!! He broke up with me 3 weeks ago saying he wasn't happy with me even though we were celebrating his bday and having some nice dates a week before our ridiculous fight we had which cause us to give us space for less than week. The day we meet up after the fight was the day he broke up with me. He said straight up that he didn't love me and is seeing someone else. The day of the breakup, I felt I couldn't say everything I wanted to tell him or even fight for our love from the shock. So i tried the next week after the post break up to meet up and I give him a letter expressing that how we should give our love a second chance since I stupidly was thinking he was confused or manipulate by his sister-which i never like her since she likes to have him under her control. Anyways we met but it was pointless, since it didn't change his mind. I feel like he was hypocrite saying he love me a week before the fight then out of the blue he move on so easily with another girl. Right now I'm accepting we broke up but I am so mad that I fell for a guy who i thought was caring, sweet, trustworthy and would dump me and post in social media he is with another girl after less than two days we met and I gave him my letter and speech about our love. FYI I only have Facebook not snapchat or instagram so I wasn't aware until my friend showed me that he was posting his loveydovey moments with her in instagram& snapchat. He never posted nothing facebook so I obvious feel so stupid not knowing this. Tbh, I feel like I was slap in my face. I have been listening from friends, family, and web how it might be a rebound relationship and such that he will come back and regret it; and that ill move on. I know that I have to value and love myself and so on. And believe me I am trying so hard to move on. I have been trying to distract as much as I can and telling myself I can't cry for a man that right now is apparently so happy with her while I am heartbroken but there are moments I feel so sad that he did this me after all the history we have.

 

i thinks it is just time I need. But it really sucks but I guess I have to deal with it. We were our first relationship together and I guess it hurt since i really thought we were the one for each other. We are both virgen and i was this close to give it to him since I thought he love me but now that he broke my heart. I feel so torn. My few friends that i have since i was so hook up with this relationship that distant myself told me to be more social - like go out meet new friends and have instagram and snapchat account and so on-

and use this breakup to be a better woman so that he will regret it.

 

The only thing im glad about this week I'm going to mini vacation that I plan a few months ago so it will hopefully help me heal my wounds and maybe forget about him and this city that reminds me a lot of stuff of us. So i was thinking to use social media like Snapchat n even Facebook to show him little by little the new improve me. But idk yet?

[Maldives]

Wow firstly what an awful ass wipe he is and this is I can imagine very painful for u. I think it's gonna take u a long time to heal. Which is normal the vacation sounds like a good starting point but don't be surprised if a yr on ur hurting I don't think there's an easy quick fix to this just time. What an arsehole though cruel way of ending it wth u sorry u had to experience this kind of pain not fun

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Time. That's the only solution. Sorry this happened to you .

[d0nnivain]

The mini vacation sounds like a good plan. Heal your own soul.

 

 

Tell your well meaning friends not to show you your EX's posts on social media. Out of loyalty to you, they should unfollow him anyway.

 

 

In the short term to help yourself do the following:

 

 

1. Let yourself cry / grieve. This is a loss & you are allowed to be upset.

 

 

2. Purge your life of the reminders & mementos. Throw it all out or at least box it up & put it in the deep recesses of the attic. Rearrange your living space so it doesn't remind you of him. If you can afford it, new sheets & new throw pillows. Consider getting your hair done.

 

 

3. Make lists of all the reasons you are better off without him & all the thinks you will do with your spare time -- throw yourself into work; join a gym; start or restart a hobby.

 

 

4. Surround yourself with supportive understanding friends & family.

 

 

You will get through this.

[preraph]

Note for the future: Never write letters to the ex hoping for closure. It leaves you feeling how you are feeling now and with less dignity. Someone dumps you, be mad and cry all you want, but don't let it get back to them. Keep your dignity. Let HIM wonder why YOU'RE able to move on so easy instead of letting it be you. Too late for that now. The goal is to move on so you stop caring and realize that the man you hoped he would be isn't the man he was. You gave him the benefit of the doubt and he didn't live up to it. So once you accept that, it's not as big of a loss. Just a loss of innocence.

 

There is nothing better than a vacation. Do not take anything to remind you of him. Block him on all social media so he can't even see your vacation photos. Why? Because you have to stop caring what he thinks and doing things you hope he'll notice. Break free.

[d0nnivain]

You can WRITE the closure letter if it helps you get all the feelings out. Just never give it to the EX. I recommend finding a safe place & burning it. Watch the flames consume the paper & then watch the smoke drift up. Let the bad feelings float away.