Travis_M Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 I will try to keep this short as possible. I go to a gym in the evenings and there is a girl there that i am very interested in. About 10 minutes after being there I noticed that she keeps staring at me this happened constantly for the 45 minutes that she was there and when I would look at her she would look away fast. When she left I walked a bit closer to her and looked at her she looked at me and smiled. The next day she came back to the gym with a guy, I am friends with this guy and I know he is gay, during the 45 minutes she again repeatedly looked at me over and over again and they then left. I am friends with the gay guy on a website along with his brothers. I started to snoop around and it made it back to the gay friend and he stated she has a bf but I am positive she does not have a bf from what others have said oh and she is 27 and I am 39. I talked to her gay friend about her and he mentioned nothing to me about her having a bf and I told him I thought she was very gorgeous. Last night they both showed up at the gym and he introduced me to her. She was so nervous and appeared shy. She quickly said hi and began fidgeting around, her hands moving and she even turned in 2 circles and then turned away. Our mutual friend the gay one started talking to me over a website kinda seems like he is probing me for info or feeling me out. Before this I have not seen him in a long time and I know he is one of her best friends. He also mentioned that I meaning me look a lot like Zak from a ghost show on tv, which i hear quit often. Tonight he asked me to come to the gym again, thanks.
hgriffin17 Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 What are you waiting for then? Ask her out goddammit 1
Miss Spider Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 (edited) In the time it took you could do all this you could have asked her out and been dating her for awhile or at least been rejected, got over it, and moved on to another girl. Edited September 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
Author Travis_M Posted September 22, 2017 Author Posted September 22, 2017 Well I met her tonight talked with her for 20 minutes, it was interesting she introduced me to her mother that was also at the gym working out, lol. She was still on the quiet side I sent her a friend request and hope she accepts. If she does not accept i will have to avoid the time she goes to the gym, ha
Author Travis_M Posted September 25, 2017 Author Posted September 25, 2017 Update ran into her at the gym this afternoon and began running beside her on the treadmill I waved to her as she had earbuds in and she waved back and said hi. After she finished running I approached her and tried to talk to her, she was alone this time at the gym. I tried to make small talk and she appeared as if she could not get away fast enough. As she left I asked her if she would like to go out sometime maybe get lunch. She turned and sighed and stated she had a bf so I just left it as that. I don't get why she would give me so much eye contact as stated in my first post, introduce me to her mother, she just acts completely different with me than any other guy. I talked with our mutual friend and he says its no big deal "I Promise" and tells me to keep coming to the gym. I know there is something else to this but I don't know what it is. It is very clear from the start how she acts around me, always catch her looking at me and all the nervous fidgety behavior she displays to me. Now she is pushing me away, at this point I am just going to let it go.
smackie9 Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 Wow Zak Begans? Hot damn. I bet the gay friend is more interested in you than the girl lol 1
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 She's clearly not interested. She shut you down. Maybe the gay guy friend liked you. Who knows, maybe she was playing his wing woman that day. Our mutual friend the gay one started talking to me over a website kinda seems like he is probing me for info or feeling me out. Before this I have not seen him in a long time and I know he is one of her best friends. He also mentioned that I meaning me look a lot like Zak from a ghost show on tv, which i hear quit often. Tonight he asked me to come to the gym again, thanks.
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 Wow Zak Begans? Hot damn. I bet the gay friend is more interested in you than the girl lol Ha ha. I posted before seeing this! Pretty sure it's the gay guy who has the crush. He keeps inviting him to come back to the gym and complimenting his looks. It sounds like he's probing to see if the OP plays for both teams despite his crush on the girl. 1
CryForNoOne Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 He could have also flunked the gay friends screening test so now she is using the BF excuse. In either event she is no longer interested though at once point she mat have been.
Author Travis_M Posted September 25, 2017 Author Posted September 25, 2017 Nah I am friends with the gay guy and his brothers besides she was displaying these things prior to him even being there.
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2017 Posted September 25, 2017 He could have also flunked the gay friends screening test so now she is using the BF excuse. Then why does the gay friend keep inviting him back to the gym?
Author Travis_M Posted September 26, 2017 Author Posted September 26, 2017 So another question despite all that has happened mixed signals which lead to rejection do I keep going to the gym at my regular time or will it cause awkwardness. I talked to my gay friend and he keeps telling me to keep coming but I am unsure and don't want her to be uncomfortable. I have not dated or went out since my divorce in 2011 and not sure what the right move is and on one hand I don't want her to think that she defeated me in some way as that has not happened. I have a high confidence level but dont want to screw up more. I am not looking to pursue her as she said she has a bf but I don't want to go into hiding any opinions?
O'Malley Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 If you like that gym, go and let people see the best of you. Everyone gets rejected or has a missed opportunity at least once in their life, don't overthink it and don't let it keep you from doing the things that you enjoy. The initial awkwardness will subside, especially if you put some energy into meeting women outside of the gym. 1
Miss Spider Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 (edited) Why would you go into hiding? You asked a girl out. That is totally acceptable for men to do. So what that she didn't accept. You would never know until you asked. And how are you positive that she does not have a BF. Or at least a guy that she is seeing? Irrespective of that, most people have faced rejection. If they haven't they have not asked enough people out or they are not aiming high enough when they do. The fact that one woman turned you down is no reason to move away and change your name. Go in there and be proud you approached women. Most men absolutely cannot. It's really sad. Oh and ask more women out!!! Edited September 26, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
smackie9 Posted September 26, 2017 Posted September 26, 2017 Don't wait for signals......if you find someone attractive chat them up and ask for their number. You will win over more women being confident. Trying to communicate your interest through a friend, is like passing a note....you are too old for that kind of stuff. 1
Author Travis_M Posted September 27, 2017 Author Posted September 27, 2017 Well pretty sure I know what the issue is now, she became uninterested when she found out what I do for work, lol. I am an officer at a prison and I guess she has a BUNCH of friends in there. Well no need for someone like that, don't have the time for it.
Author Travis_M Posted October 9, 2017 Author Posted October 9, 2017 Ok lets omit my last post for a second although it may be true I am usually quick to assume the worse. So today out of the blue our mutual friend the gay friend messages me and asks me to come to the gym Monday night I told him I would knowing that she would be there. About an our after this He messages me again and asks me what I am doing on the 28th and I told him nothing I don't have to work. He invited me to come out with THEM for Halloween so I told him I am game to tag along. This is all over text by the way, not even 30 seconds later he texts back and says great I already told her that you are coming, meaning the girl I am interested in. I asked him if she is ok that I will be there since 2 weeks ago she told me she had a boyfriend when I asked her out. He responds and states "Ha Ha yea she is down with it. I doubt the gay guy is hitting on me cuz I made it clear in the past I am straight and he is a good friend. How do I read this.
coolheadal Posted October 9, 2017 Posted October 9, 2017 In the time it took you could do all this you could have asked her out and been dating her for awhile or at least been rejected, got over it, and moved on to another girl. I agree with this and have nothing more to add all has been said already!
coolheadal Posted October 9, 2017 Posted October 9, 2017 Ok lets omit my last post for a second although it may be true I am usually quick to assume the worse. So today out of the blue our mutual friend the gay friend messages me and asks me to come to the gym Monday night I told him I would knowing that she would be there. About an our after this He messages me again and asks me what I am doing on the 28th and I told him nothing I don't have to work. He invited me to come out with THEM for Halloween so I told him I am game to tag along. This is all over text by the way, not even 30 seconds later he texts back and says great I already told her that you are coming, meaning the girl I am interested in. I asked him if she is ok that I will be there since 2 weeks ago she told me she had a boyfriend when I asked her out. He responds and states "Ha Ha yea she is down with it. I doubt the gay guy is hitting on me cuz I made it clear in the past I am straight and he is a good friend. How do I read this. So she has bf, oh well you move on to the next girl. As for your friend he know your straight so don't have to worry about him. This is something you have to deal with and figure out. Also there is nothing wrong with you job you earn a check like all us do, you get extra perks working for the state that you in. You do have a skill you know how to manage others and tell them what to do and they have to do it or else they get written up by you.
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