maryannly Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 So, to start from the beginning, I met this guy on Tinder a year ago. We hit it off quite good with our conversation and talked a lot. We also planned to meet, but somehow life happened and we finally did not go to a date. I was attracted to him and he seemed to be also,but somehow the communication faded away. We did not talk until august when we matced again in Tinder. He contacted me there and said he regrets that we did not meet. As I am single I told him we can reconsider going out and the date finally happened. It was amazing,we spent 2 days together (which was very unexpected but also somehow very natural as we had such good connection). After that we had another date in few days,which was also amazing. We had dinner and talked a lot. Next day he messaged me again and hasn't let our conversation die since then. He always says something back to my last message, he replies quickly, sends me pictures of casual stuff etc. It has been a week since our last date now. Due to our schedules we haven't been able to meet again yet. I suggested a date for today a few days ago and he said that he has some kind of work event but we can meet afterwards. However today when we spoke, he said that the schedule for the work event changed and he will have to be there for quite a long time. So the date is off. Now I don't know if I should suggest smth else for next week (I'll be away for the weekend) or wait for him to do that.. I really don't want to come off overly eager but on the other hand I like him a lot and I would really like to see him soon enough. Otherwise I am really afraid that the good flow will fade. What do you think or would do at this situation. Should I consider him at all being into me? I am subconciously very afraid to show my feelings as I've had very bad experiences in the near past. However my gut feeling about him is very good.
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 Because he cancelled but didn't suggest rescheduling I would assume he's not all that into you & behave accordingly. You need to stop chasing him. Let him come to you. If he doesn't initiate you have your answer. 2
Mike B. Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 From what I know about guys and myself, we generally don't cancel on someone we are interested in. Guys will generally move mountains to keep a date with someone we are interested in and it would be almost unheard of to cancel a date and not offer a rescheduled date. Of course, there are exceptions but exceptions offer no real guidance.
Author maryannly Posted September 21, 2017 Author Posted September 21, 2017 I get your point. Actually I was the one who called it off, as he said that he will need to be there longer. However not sure if that changes the situation.
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 It changes the situation a little but the fact that when you backed off he didn't try to reschedule is still a bad sign. He may think you are not into him if you weren't willing to take what little time he had / was offering, In that optimistic vein, you can try once more but I wouldn't hold out much hope.
Miss Spider Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 Omgosh just reschedule!!! How can ppl date when they overthink every little tiny action afraid to scare the other person off like they're a skittish animal 2
lurker74 Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 Omgosh just reschedule!!! How can ppl date when they overthink every little tiny action afraid to scare the other person off like they're a skittish animal Yeah, I agree. Be a bit more aggressive. If he still is skittish then it probably means he's seeing someone else in which he is more interested. From experience, OLD has two competition factors... First, when I first start chatting, I'm usually chatting with 3 to 5 different people. It can be difficult to get through the noise and honestly, the one that does is often the most persistent and/or responsive. Second, you aren't just competing with other women he's talking to...you are competing with EVERY POSSIBLE WOMAN THAT IS JUST ONE SWIPE AWAY. This is of course false competition but it means that getting off of neutral requires effort form both parties. So, yeah, I'd try just a little bit more and see if it works out. Sounds like the beginning was good enough to be worth the effort. Now, don't get overly thirsty...find some balance, but don't be afraid to reach out.
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