salparadise6419 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I don't know what's wrong with me. This has happened to me twice now. I have started dating someone I was not totally sure I would be into but was not sure I couldn't be. I know that sounds weird to some people who know right away. Maybe I should know right away too? But, I can't seem to tell immediately. This last woman was a fantastic, loving, moral, accomplished lady. I wasn't sure I was attracted to her physically, but, after a couple of dates, I thought I might be going in that direction. She became really attached, really fast, and I began to learn that she just wasn't what I was looking for intellectually and in shared interests etc. Once that began to dawn on me, I got less physically attracted. Then, and this is where it gets weird, I became so anxious and physically sick about dating her - tightness in chest, and feeling of being trapped, depression, fear. My friends just say, she wasn't right, and move along. Why am I so impacted emotionally and physiologically when I find I'm dating the wrong person? It was only 3 weeks FGS! Has anyone else had a similar experience, or am I just a freak?
Gaeta Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I don't find this that unusual. You really didn't want to date her so I wonder why you imposed on yourself to be with her? Once I dediced I don't want to date someone I cannot be with them, not even one more day it suffocates me. You need to listen to yourself, when it feels bad than terminate the relatonship. 1
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I don't know what's wrong with me. This has happened to me twice now. I have started dating someone I was not totally sure I would be into but was not sure I couldn't be. I know that sounds weird to some people who know right away. Maybe I should know right away too? But, I can't seem to tell immediately. This last woman was a fantastic, loving, moral, accomplished lady. I wasn't sure I was attracted to her physically, but, after a couple of dates, I thought I might be going in that direction. She became really attached, really fast, and I began to learn that she just wasn't what I was looking for intellectually and in shared interests etc. Once that began to dawn on me, I got less physically attracted. Then, and this is where it gets weird, I became so anxious and physically sick about dating her - tightness in chest, and feeling of being trapped, depression, fear. My friends just say, she wasn't right, and move along. Why am I so impacted emotionally and physiologically when I find I'm dating the wrong person? It was only 3 weeks FGS! Has anyone else had a similar experience, or am I just a freak? What sort of history you had while growing up? Everything good with your family. Where they loving? Do you suffer from depression or have some sort of abuse in younger or adult?
lana-banana Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 This doesn't seem to have anything to do with dating; it's just a symptom of anxiety. It's relatively normal. Trust me, I used to experience similar sensations just at the thought of walking in late to a meeting! These types of psychosomatic reactions are common in people with poor communication skills or somewhat low emotional intelligence. It's not that you're faking, you're just having a physical reaction because the mental aversion is so strong. Your severe anxiety is your mind trying to avoid this situation. Different therapists have different approaches for psychosomatic issues, but most involve a focus on communicating fears. The more you try to understand yourself, the better you'll get. 1
Author salparadise6419 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 What sort of history you had while growing up? Everything good with your family. Where they loving? Do you suffer from depression or have some sort of abuse in younger or adult? Yes to everything you said! Abusive, distant, unloving parents. Lifelong depression and anxiety. Is there a correlation here. I am intrigued.
Author salparadise6419 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 I don't find this that unusual. You really didn't want to date her so I wonder why you imposed on yourself to be with her? Once I dediced I don't want to date someone I cannot be with them, not even one more day it suffocates me. You need to listen to yourself, when it feels bad than terminate the relatonship. Yes, actually though, I did want to date her, initially. It just takes me a while to determine that I don't want to date someone. It might not make any sense, a probably doesn't, but that is why I have posted this. I need to be surer on my decision at the beginning.
amaysngrace Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 My exH trapped me pregnant and before we got married I broke out in full hives all over my body. I never had it before then and I haven't had it since. 2
CptInsano Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 Never happened to me. I will count my blessings and be grateful.
BaileyB Posted September 21, 2017 Posted September 21, 2017 It sounds like physical symptoms of anxiety. Have you ever tried a cognitive behavioral counsellor.
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