Lishy Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 (edited) Hi guys Please look at my last thread for the back story ... basically I have not spoken to my sister for a month due to her behaviour after her affair ... she knows I. Am furious with her after she brought the guy into the pub infront of her daughter and me but my niece knew nothing about him It was awful and I told her I couldn't believe she did that and she told me if I didn't like it to leave ... which I did (after giving the other man a mouthful) So since then she went on holiday with him and her daughter guessed so she told her she is with a guy but to keep it a secret from her dad .... more secrets to keep ... awful So she knows I am mad at her, knows why and doesn't confront it with me as she won't like what she hears My issue now is that today she posted on Facebook how she is ill with tonsillitis!!! I now feel bad, which I believe is the reason she posted as she wants to not confront the problem but make me feel sorry for her Am I bad ignoring her illness?? Baring in mind that if the OM was down she wouldn't have posted that Edited September 20, 2017 by Lishy
amaysngrace Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 She probably got it from kissing that guy. It's highly contagious. If you want to be a good sister send her a box of salt. 2
basil67 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I can't see why she'd confront you. You know how she feels. She knows how you feel. A confrontation would just be a waste of breath on both your parts. And it sounds like you've done your fair share of having a say anyway. As you feel so strongly about her choices, just continue as you are. Out of curiosity, if she stays with him long term, will you just write her off?
Author Lishy Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 I know when I have been very ill I am not posting it on Facebook In my heart I know it’s for attention but I still feel guilty for some reason
MJJean Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 You didn't pass along a contagious illness to her and she has her AP to take care of her, so you have no need to feel guilty.
Author Lishy Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 He has gone back to where he lives and not back until Friday so she is by herself ... her daughter and I are not talking to her
MJJean Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 He has gone back to where he lives and not back until Friday so she is by herself ... her daughter and I are not talking to her Ah, well. Welcome to adult life as a separated woman then. Millions of people every day contract minor illnesses and deal with it all on their own. She can, too.
Author Lishy Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 Wow she has actually deleted me from WhatsApp and Facebook
Author Lishy Posted September 24, 2017 Author Posted September 24, 2017 We are still not talking .... she really believes it is me who is in the wrong but her treatment of me was disgusting
Miss Clavel Posted September 27, 2017 Posted September 27, 2017 i have a lot of sisters. we fight. our mother's gossip and fight so we come by it genetically. even in the midst of large, "i'm never speaking to her again" fights, we always declare an cease fire during an illness. as in, "i detest you, i'm not speaking to you but on the off chance you might die, i want you to know that i hope you get better". which is what you should have done, imo. if only on FB(in public). that way you get the cred for being the bigger person. good luck
Author Lishy Posted September 27, 2017 Author Posted September 27, 2017 i have a lot of sisters. we fight. our mother's gossip and fight so we come by it genetically. even in the midst of large, "i'm never speaking to her again" fights, we always declare an cease fire during an illness. as in, "i detest you, i'm not speaking to you but on the off chance you might die, i want you to know that i hope you get better". which is what you should have done, imo. if only on FB(in public). that way you get the cred for being the bigger person. good luck I totally hear what you are saying ... and normally I would do that but I think she made the announcement on Facebook as a passive aggressive way to get me to forget how she has treated me and I have had enough of feeling manipulated by her and had to make a stand In saying this I feel awful about the whole thing but she is doing exactly what she wants to with no care for anyone but herself
CupCakess Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 We are still not talking .... she really believes it is me who is in the wrong but her treatment of me was disgusting Her daughter is not talking to her. You re not talking to her. Her posting in facebook is just seeking attention. Simple math reveals that the negative variable in this equation is your sister, not you or her daughter.
darkmoon Posted October 8, 2017 Posted October 8, 2017 you say you are not talking to her, as a triumph for you but you have not really walked away, or you would not be here asking LS I see those soppy wall-hangings about sisters being special friends
Author Lishy Posted October 8, 2017 Author Posted October 8, 2017 I am upset we are not talking .... it’s not a good thing but she wants me to collude ... I am not down for that
sam light Posted October 9, 2017 Posted October 9, 2017 Perhaps divorce court will cure her tonsillitis.
Author Lishy Posted October 28, 2017 Author Posted October 28, 2017 It is now 2 months of no talking .... this whole situation stinks
Miss Clavel Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 It is now 2 months of no talking .... this whole situation stinks then, start talking. " i love you but i can't condone shady behavior and i hope you're not stupid enough to believe i will." "until you get a divorce and live your life above board you can't be part of my life." "i can't have people thinking that we share the same values and i can't have your behavior reflecting on my reputation or on your daughters''. '' have you even thought about the position you've put her in??" "no, you only think of yourself". " so just think of yourself as an only child till you come out of this fog you're in''. "yes, it's called a fog, look it up''. love, your sister
Author Lishy Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 then, start talking. " i love you but i can't condone shady behavior and i hope you're not stupid enough to believe i will." "until you get a divorce and live your life above board you can't be part of my life." "i can't have people thinking that we share the same values and i can't have your behavior reflecting on my reputation or on your daughters''. '' have you even thought about the position you've put her in??" "no, you only think of yourself". " so just think of yourself as an only child till you come out of this fog you're in''. "yes, it's called a fog, look it up''. love, your sister I really do love my sister and I have said all of the above before our fall out ... she did not want to address anything she just wanted to be passive aggressive
stillafool Posted October 30, 2017 Posted October 30, 2017 So I am not wrong??? Unless you are a medical doctor you are not wrong. There's nothing you can do. She needs a doc.
Author Lishy Posted October 30, 2017 Author Posted October 30, 2017 Unless you are a medical doctor you are not wrong. There's nothing you can do. She needs a doc. That ship has sailed lol
Miss Clavel Posted October 31, 2017 Posted October 31, 2017 I really do love my sister and I have said all of the above before our fall out ... she did not want to address anything she just wanted to be passive aggressive can you write her a letter and mail it? the only other thing that comes to mind, in that case is..."leave them alone and they'll come home". sorry you have to go thru this.
Author Lishy Posted October 31, 2017 Author Posted October 31, 2017 can you write her a letter and mail it? the only other thing that comes to mind, in that case is..."leave them alone and they'll come home". sorry you have to go thru this. I am of the idea that I have to leave her to get on with her life, her choices but it still hurts as she is posting Memes on Facebook saying things like ... When you go through the worst storms you see the true colours of the people who say they care for you It’s not easy as she is so passive aggressive and takes no blame
Miss Clavel Posted November 13, 2017 Posted November 13, 2017 sometimes bad things(storms) happen to good people, it's called karma.
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