Kyx24 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 So I'm doing long distance with my BF of a little over 1.5 years. He's an aspiring actor living in New York and I'm living in Boston. The other day he told me that he was hanging out with some of his acting friends and they decided to do a spin the bottle type game. He said that he had to kiss a girl (who had previously been his scene partner before and that he had already kissed), and another girl and then two guys kissed him. Idk if I'm being crazy but I feel upset about this. I played it relatively cool when he told me but I really don't feel comfortable. What do you all think? I'd love some input...
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 Hmmm? Did you say he was kissed by men as well as women? Is he bi-sexual man? How did you two meet? Online or in person. NYC and Boston couple of hours away. But you have to consider is your new bf really gay or is he really bi-sexual. How doe it make you feel i was kissed by other men. Beside the women he's a actor but yet he allowed guys to kiss him on the lips or on the cheek. You have right to have concern about this. You can end this now by just making no contact with him. The choice is already made you have to go with your gut. Or just brush this off and move on to get to know him, but I would be cautions knowing the fact he kissed other men or they just kissed him because of the game ore really it could me something else. Just don't know today! Does he have feelings for men or not?
Author Kyx24 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 I don't think he's bisexual or gay...I mean he's an emotional guy whos pretty in tune with his feelings but he told me before these guys kissed him he was hesitant because he thought it was kind of gay. But then I guess he Let it happen anyways. Also all the kisses were on the lips.
Author Kyx24 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 Also we met in person and dated for about 7 or 8 months before we had to do long distance
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I don't think he's bisexual or gay...I mean he's an emotional guy whos pretty in tune with his feelings but he told me before these guys kissed him he was hesitant because he thought it was kind of gay. But then I guess he Let it happen anyways. Also all the kisses were on the lips. What did you just say? Kisses on the lips oh my really.. That's good, yet he's actor you say. He just didn't let this happen.. You know that's just excuse right there.
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 Also we met in person and dated for about 7 or 8 months before we had to do long distance My question for you how did you two finally meet in person? By chance or by some other means?
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 What did you just say? Kisses on the lips oh my really.. That's good, yet he's actor you say. He just didn't let this happen.. You know that's just excuse right there. I meant that's not good... Your not okay with this I see.. So you have to make the choice now before it gets out of hand. He did tell you he was kissed by other men from his acting group of friends. Men just don't kiss other men on the lips you know..
Author Kyx24 Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 We met through a friend. Yeah I'm conflicted because he's an actor and he has to probably kiss other people in the future for his job. I guess I'm upset also because he's always been really good to me and I never doubted his fidelity towards me. But then a few weeks ago he told me that two weeks into us dating (we were not officially together) he had sex with another girl. Him telling me that really threw me off and I feel like my trust has been a little shaky with him after that.
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 (edited) We met through a friend. Yeah I'm conflicted because he's an actor and he has to probably kiss other people in the future for his job. I guess I'm upset also because he's always been really good to me and I never doubted his fidelity towards me. But then a few weeks ago he told me that two weeks into us dating (we were not officially together) he had sex with another girl. Him telling me that really threw me off and I feel like my trust has been a little shaky with him after that. Listen he told your not officially together, then he tells you he had sex with another girl and now allowed other guys to kissed him on the lips for a truth and dare of spin the bottle. This guy you don't need in your life you don't have him either way. Just a friend.. You don't want just a friend you want someone who is serious for you and this guy is not. Break off all communications. You don't need this jerk, you can do better than him. Don't settle don't give in. Not serious about you the way you want, plus he had sex with another woman. Edited September 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
The Urbanyst Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 Why are you worried about stuff that happened over a year ago? Seems you are just trying to create drama in an otherwise smooth relationship lol.
Erik30 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I think he just said that about the other guys in an attempt to downplay the fact he kissed this girl, like "see, it's not a big deal at all." My guess is something more is going on there... Sure, he has to kiss people for his job, but as your boyfriend he should've skipped the game
PegNosePete Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 he's an actor and he has to probably kiss other people in the future for his job That is true but kissing for work is different than kissing other people for fun in his spare time. People who are in a couple, should not act like single people. That includes not playing stupid games that ALWAYS involve kissing other people (or more). He is acting like a single person. I suggest you make him a single person, then he is free to play whatever stupid games he likes and to kiss whoever he likes. 3
Bastile Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 How old is he? 14? Smack his backside, and tell him not to do it again. You are taking him too serious. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 If he's an actor there will always be love scenes with others. If you are not comfortable with that, then perhaps he's not the guy for you. As he achieves more success & the groupies / fans start things will get worse. If he previously told you that you two are not official & he did disclose this game to you, I think his ethics are in tact but still you may be hoping for more then he's prepared to give (exclusivity).
Redhead14 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 So I'm doing long distance with my BF of a little over 1.5 years. He's an aspiring actor living in New York and I'm living in Boston. The other day he told me that he was hanging out with some of his acting friends and they decided to do a spin the bottle type game. He said that he had to kiss a girl (who had previously been his scene partner before and that he had already kissed), and another girl and then two guys kissed him. Idk if I'm being crazy but I feel upset about this. I played it relatively cool when he told me but I really don't feel comfortable. What do you all think? I'd love some input... I kinda gave up those games after around 15 years old . . . find yourself a grown up to date. 3
Gaeta Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I played it relatively cool AAhhh why?? I would have had a fit he'd remember for the rest of his life!! Long distance - inspiring actor - emotionally immature, good luck with that! Game or not, kissing someone else when in a relationship is cheating.
d0nnivain Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 The combo is disturbing: him having sex with somebody else 1.5 years ago, the distance, his choice of profession & the kissing game. I'd be hurt by the disclosure too. I'd wonder why he chose to disclose it now. Given his choice of kissing games & the distance I'd probably throw in the towel & just end the relationship. 1
kendahke Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 So how exactly did he feel about doing that? When he told you, was he feeling remorseful, was he bragging or was he matter of fact? Does he feel that he stepped over the line with this or not? How often does he bother to come see you or you go to see him? Him having sex before you two became exclusive but knew one another is really neither here nor there. He wasn't obligated to be faithful to you at that point and he was living a life before you came along. Would it have been nice? Without a doubt; clearly he didn't see it that way. I think rather than what we all think, what do you think? But since you asked: I think you need to figure out if you can stomach being with someone who does this kind of stuff when you're not around. He told you this time--next time, he might not tell you and go with "what she doesn't know won't hurt her". Is this enough to launch you off into snooping his phone, creeping on his social media, etc.? If so, will you be happy with who you have to become in order to be with this man? He's not got a good record of esteeming his relationship with you very highly so far... I realize that the holidays are coming up soon and no one likes being alone for them and will therefore put up with a lousy partner because of that, but seriously? You need to put some real hard thought into whether or not this type of man is who you really need in your life. Is the kind of pain he brings your definition of love? If not, then you know what you need to do. Some people cannot do LDR's--they need attention and company and will go seek it out. Your guy seems to be one of those.
kendahke Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I'd wonder why he chose to disclose it now. To put her on notice that the seriousness of this relationship is in her head and not his. 3
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