Aveenolover Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I'll keep it short and to the point. Guy I'm interested in says he likes me but doesn't have much time, let alone to himself. "Lets just hang out and see where it goes" I kind of feel like it's a sneaky way of saying let's just bang. Or am I just overanalyzing it too much?
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 (edited) Correct it could mean that, or it could mean just want to hook-up with you or hangout with you. He just beating around the brush should have said you'll be my booty call. He's not serious or doesn't want to take things serious so he can see other women beside you. OR He likes you but doesn't have to much time? Excuse to say hey listen I like you but I can't be with you 100%, I have other important things to do like dating other women, but let's see where this goes first okay. Sex wise.. Edited September 20, 2017 by coolheadal
Author Aveenolover Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 Hmm. That's kinda what I figured.
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 Hmm. That's kinda what I figured. Sorry before you get dupe it's better you know the truth now then later.. Don't drop those panties yet for any jerk like him.. He's just toying with your head. Puts in you the friend-zone so he can seem interested but really wants to keep his options open for other dates..
Author Aveenolover Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 Ya I know. I figured as much and told him cool--but no sex unless we decide to date. We'll see if he still wants to hang out and get to know me, lol 1
coolheadal Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 Ya I know. I figured as much and told him cool--but no sex unless we decide to date. We'll see if he still wants to hang out and get to know me, lol Just be careful okay my dear.. Good one! Now you understand the game... 1
joseb Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I'll keep it short and to the point. Guy I'm interested in says he likes me but doesn't have much time, let alone to himself. "Lets just hang out and see where it goes" I kind of feel like it's a sneaky way of saying let's just bang. Or am I just overanalyzing it too much? I'd say you are analyzing it correctly. 2
CptInsano Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 He may not even want to hang, and you are 2nd or 3rd in line to bang. Sorry, but he is very forward in saying that you are not a priority in his life. 1
Redhead14 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 I'll keep it short and to the point. Guy I'm interested in says he likes me but doesn't have much time, let alone to himself. "Lets just hang out and see where it goes" I kind of feel like it's a sneaky way of saying let's just bang. Or am I just overanalyzing it too much? says he likes me but If there is a but in a sentence regarding a dating scenario, it's usually a 'disclaimer'.
d0nnivain Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 It's a pop psychology book but read He's Just Not That Into You. He's willing to spend time with you if you make it really easy for him (e.g. show up for a booty call) and don't put any demands on him (no exclusivity) Beyond that, he doesn't think you are worth the effort. When I met my husband he had a FT job, a PT job & was going to college PT. We still met for dinner multiple times per week. It's all about priorities. 1
fred123 Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 It's a pop psychology book but read He's Just Not That Into You. He's willing to spend time with you if you make it really easy for him (e.g. show up for a booty call) and don't put any demands on him (no exclusivity) Beyond that, he doesn't think you are worth the effort. When I met my husband he had a FT job, a PT job & was going to college PT. We still met for dinner multiple times per week. It's all about priorities. How do you meet someone like this?
d0nnivain Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 How do you meet someone like this? I met my husband in a bar during a business card exchange net working event. We were both there to drum up business for our companies but ended up talking to each other. At the time I owned a start-up business that I began about 2 years earlier, I had 2 part time teaching jobs & I served on 3 boards of trustees, plus I was active in 2 more civic organizations. I was also the primary care giver for my aging & ailing parents. To say he & I were both busy is an understatement. Looking back I wonder how I fit it all in. OP it really is about priorities. People make time for what is important to them. 1
Miss Spider Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 There are no absolutes. He could mean you are not priority or he could mean dating is not a priority. Believe it or not, there are people who are in a stage of their life where they do not want the expectations a serious relationship brings, regardless of how much they like the person. I'm at this stage of my life. My independence and alone time is much more valuable to me than anything I can get out of a relationship with any man, so "let's hang out and see where it goes" is pretty much the most honest thing I can tell someone. Consider if you want to get attached by dating someone like that. Maybe he will never be(unlikely) and maybe not with you when he is(likely), Probably will lead to heartbreak and wasted time/energy.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 There are no absolutes. He could mean you are not priority or he could mean dating is not a priority. Believe it or not, there are people who are in a stage of their life where they do not want the expectations a serious relationship brings, regardless of how much they like the person. I'm at this stage of my life. My independence and alone time is much more valuable to me than anything I can get out of a relationship with any man, so "let's hang out and see where it goes" is pretty much the most honest thing I can tell someone. Consider if you want to get attached by dating someone like that. Maybe he will never be(unlikely) and maybe not with you when he is(likely), Probably will lead to heartbreak and wasted time/energy. I agree with this. I don't have time to invest in dating right now, because building a relationship takes a lot of time and energy. Maybe the man in question is the same. OP, how'd you meet him?
d0nnivain Posted September 20, 2017 Posted September 20, 2017 Whether the guy is lukewarm about the OP or really not in a position to date, the outcome is identical -- he won't give OP what she wants. The why doesn't matter so much. She wants more time & effort then he has or is willing to give. 2
Author Aveenolover Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 I agree with this. I don't have time to invest in dating right now, because building a relationship takes a lot of time and energy. Maybe the man in question is the same. OP, how'd you meet him? I met him ages ago in school. We both moved to the opposite side of the country and got together to meet up and catch up. This was a year ago and we got together a couple times, hooked up and that was it. I told him that wasn't me and I'm a relationship person and he apologized for hurting me. We ended up hanging out this past Sunday and I met his roomy and he knew like everything about me, so the guy had talked about me. Later in the evening he confessed he really did like me and he's not used to a pretty girl like me giving him attention and being interested in him. He says also since I had just moved out there he wasn't sure I actually wanted to settle down yet or just enjoy life. He said he was also scared cuz he works 70+ hrs a week and didn't think I would be happy spending limited time together. I told him it was fine to me and he pulled me towards him and said I would love to try a relationship with you. I really like you. He was drunk. I told him tell me all this when you're sober. So I text him yesterday and ask if he really meant everything he said or if that's just how he is when he's drunk and he said, "Well not gonna lie I don't remember exactly what was said but I'd like to get to know ya and hang out and see where it goes cause I do like you and think you're pretty cool"
Author Aveenolover Posted September 20, 2017 Author Posted September 20, 2017 Well, we were supposed to see a movie today and he cancelled, "I'm so bummed but I can't make it tonight cuz I'm not feeling so well" I said alright and he said, "it's just that I gotta be at work really early and I think I'm just gonna chill" I said k. Deleted his text, deleted his number and gonna move on. Ty good sir, lesson learned.
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