Lianna Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 I have been emailing with an amazing man for some time now. It has gradually shifted from friendship to something subtly more romantic. For a while, we emailed each other almost daily. Then, suddenly, I got this really intimate email where he straight out said that he can see himself in a relationship with me. He also wrote some pretty direct stuff about what he values in a sexual relationship. I've just come out of a long relationship a few months ago, and suddenly everything felt a bit overwhelming. I needed to think if I was truly ready to commit to this new man. So I managed to use 6(!) full days to respond. And when I wrote to him, I openly admitted to having feelings for him too. But now, I have this fear that I might have ruined everything, by waiting so long. Maybe he got offended and has written me off. I feel horrible! What do you think, could I potentially spoil it by waiting this long to reply to him? Or do I over analyze the whole thing? Please help, and thanks for your thoughts!
fred123 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 I have been emailing with an amazing man for some time now. It has gradually shifted from friendship to something subtly more romantic. For a while, we emailed each other almost daily. Then, suddenly, I got this really intimate email where he straight out said that he can see himself in a relationship with me. He also wrote some pretty direct stuff about what he values in a sexual relationship. I've just come out of a long relationship a few months ago, and suddenly everything felt a bit overwhelming. I needed to think if I was truly ready to commit to this new man. So I managed to use 6(!) full days to respond. And when I wrote to him, I openly admitted to having feelings for him too. But now, I have this fear that I might have ruined everything, by waiting so long. Maybe he got offended and has written me off. I feel horrible! What do you think, could I potentially spoil it by waiting this long to reply to him? Or do I over analyze the whole thing? Please help, and thanks for your thoughts! How would you feel for example if you propose to a man and he responds 6 days later with yes?
coolheadal Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 I have been emailing with an amazing man for some time now. It has gradually shifted from friendship to something subtly more romantic. For a while, we emailed each other almost daily. Then, suddenly, I got this really intimate email where he straight out said that he can see himself in a relationship with me. He also wrote some pretty direct stuff about what he values in a sexual relationship. I've just come out of a long relationship a few months ago, and suddenly everything felt a bit overwhelming. I needed to think if I was truly ready to commit to this new man. So I managed to use 6(!) full days to respond. And when I wrote to him, I openly admitted to having feelings for him too. But now, I have this fear that I might have ruined everything, by waiting so long. Maybe he got offended and has written me off. I feel horrible! What do you think, could I potentially spoil it by waiting this long to reply to him? Or do I over analyze the whole thing? Please help, and thanks for your thoughts! How did you meet this guy? Online dating app/site? Where does he live in your state or out of the country? Sounds like a scammer can quickly shift from friends to really in love with you so fast. Have you ever met him in person or strictly online email chat. Any video chat like skype, hangouts, facebook video chat, facebook voice chat, whatsup video or voice chat?
Gaeta Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 he straight out said that he can see himself in a relationship with me. He also wrote some pretty direct stuff about what he values in a sexual relationship. Why women always worry if they have done something wrong instead of looking at what the guy did wrong. You didn't blow it, he did. If you care about a woman and are wishing to meet her then you don't suddenly out of the blue email her some pretty direct stuff about your sexual preferences. It's tactless, tasteless, any man with some common sense would have known it would have come across as fishy behavior. 4
smackie9 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 This guy is looking for something other than romance. You dodged a bullet. 2
Redhead14 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 I have been emailing with an amazing man for some time now. It has gradually shifted from friendship to something subtly more romantic. For a while, we emailed each other almost daily. Then, suddenly, I got this really intimate email where he straight out said that he can see himself in a relationship with me. He also wrote some pretty direct stuff about what he values in a sexual relationship. I've just come out of a long relationship a few months ago, and suddenly everything felt a bit overwhelming. I needed to think if I was truly ready to commit to this new man. So I managed to use 6(!) full days to respond. And when I wrote to him, I openly admitted to having feelings for him too. But now, I have this fear that I might have ruined everything, by waiting so long. Maybe he got offended and has written me off. I feel horrible! What do you think, could I potentially spoil it by waiting this long to reply to him? Or do I over analyze the whole thing? Please help, and thanks for your thoughts! An email from a man you've never met in person to say that he could see himself in a relationship with a you and is peppered with mention of sex is always a huge red flag! The relationship he could see himself in with you is a sexual one and probably a one-night stand. You need to get a better "bs" meter that's for sure. 5
Author Lianna Posted September 19, 2017 Author Posted September 19, 2017 Thanks for all replies guys! I can totally see how I made it sound like we've never met in person. I have met this guy briefly in person at a job conference. We had a great conversation and then he asked for my email. He has never been sleazy or disrespectful. We've mostly discussed innocent topics like shared interests and life goals.
bpb2017 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) Just explain to him what you wrote, no big deal I'm sure he'd get it. Yes he would have been offended, but you could turn it around and you can appear more serious. Edited September 19, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator off topic ~T
Bastile Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) Not contacting him for that length at such a significant/pivotal moment is very poor form. But crap happens in relationships. If we all nexted each other over every little thing, nobody would get anywhere. Would have been better if you explained that you needed to sort through your feelings or whatever, but there you are. If he doesn't respond, then double text, explain, and invest a little. You give someone a big push, then you have to pull them back. Can't expect others to sincerely invest and not do so yourself. You'll probably be fine Save Edited September 19, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator off topic ~T
Redhead14 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 Thanks for all replies guys! I can totally see how I made it sound like we've never met in person. I have met this guy briefly in person at a job conference. We had a great conversation and then he asked for my email. He has never been sleazy or disrespectful. We've mostly discussed innocent topics like shared interests and life goals. I have met this guy briefly -- that doesn't count. No man who barely knows you should be advancing sexual references in the same sentence with wanting to explore the possibility of a relationship with you let alone even suggesting that he wants a relationship with you when he hasn't spent any quality time with you. He has never been sleazy or disrespectful. - Until you got that email . . . 3
Redhead14 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) Just explain to him what you wrote, no big deal I'm sure he'd get it. Yes he would have been offended, but you could turn it around and you can appear more serious. Just explain to him what you wrote, -- She didn't write anything. He wrote her an email that included sexual references, etc. She's only met him once very briefly at a conference. They've never spent any real time together. She didn't reply for 6 days because she says she was feeling overwhelmed. I'm betting she didn't answer for 6 days because her radar was up/her gut was telling her something. Edited September 19, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator off topic ~T 1
bpb2017 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) I'm betting she didn't answer for 6 days because her radar was up/her gut was telling her something. She said she just got out of a LTR, which is why she didn't answer for 6 days. My advice was to just tell him that. She's the one that didn't respond for 6 days, how rude. If it was a guy that did that you'd be telling him that he should apologize. Edited September 19, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator off topic ~T 1
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