Olivia89 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 I am 28 year old female and not a virgin. I lost my virginity when I was 18 and I've slep with 5 guys. But I'm currently single and have been for a long time. An old co worker who I briefly dated about 3 years ago recently got in contact with me. He is 30 and still virgin. He was waiting for marriage when I knew him years ago. But now he is ready to lose his virginity and doesn't want a relationship. I always really liked him and I want more then just a friend with benefits, which is what he asked me for. Do you think if I have sex with him he will get attached to me and want more of a relationship? Or do you think he will just want to go have sex with other women since he finally knows what he is doing? I think maybe he just can't see past trying to lose his virginity right now and that's why he doesn't want a relationship. How do older men virgins react when they finally have sex?
basil67 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 You want more than a FWB but he doesn't want a relationship. Sounds to me like you're incompatible. If a person tells you they don't want a relationship, believe them. 4
coolheadal Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 I am 28 year old female and not a virgin. I lost my virginity when I was 18 and I've slep with 5 guys. But I'm currently single and have been for a long time. An old co worker who I briefly dated about 3 years ago recently got in contact with me. He is 30 and still virgin. He was waiting for marriage when I knew him years ago. But now he is ready to lose his virginity and doesn't want a relationship. I always really liked him and I want more then just a friend with benefits, which is what he asked me for. Do you think if I have sex with him he will get attached to me and want more of a relationship? Or do you think he will just want to go have sex with other women since he finally knows what he is doing? I think maybe he just can't see past trying to lose his virginity right now and that's why he doesn't want a relationship. How do older men virgins react when they finally have sex? My dear you have to listen to what he saying your not listening.. You want him but he doesn't want a relationship with you just sex and that's it. Do not give in to his needs and your needs and wants are not met! He's not interested in you more than sex he's just using you for sex release since as you say he never had sex so he's pure but how do you know really he's telling you the truth. Anyone can say they're pure but I feel he's lying to you just for you to drop your panties and give me sex! Watch your step with this one OP your not going to be happy in the end!
Author Olivia89 Posted September 19, 2017 Author Posted September 19, 2017 I know you are right about believing someone when they tell you want they want. It's just unclear about what would happen after we have sex. I told him FWB gets confusing and asked him if we would just continue in that state of limbo until one of us found someone we want an actual relationship with and then we move on. Or if the FWB would turn into a relationship. And he said in all likely hood it would turn into a relationship but he thinks in a lot of ways it is unpredictable. He said maybe I am right for him, maybe not. So he wasn't completely closed off to the idea that it might turn into something more. Just at this time, he just got out of a relationship that ended badly and he wants to hold off on a relationship for a short time, he doesn't have a time frame.
coolheadal Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 I know you are right about believing someone when they tell you want they want. It's just unclear about what would happen after we have sex. I told him FWB gets confusing and asked him if we would just continue in that state of limbo until one of us found someone we want an actual relationship with and then we move on. Or if the FWB would turn into a relationship. And he said in all likely hood it would turn into a relationship but he thinks in a lot of ways it is unpredictable. He said maybe I am right for him, maybe not. So he wasn't completely closed off to the idea that it might turn into something more. Just at this time, he just got out of a relationship that ended badly and he wants to hold off on a relationship for a short time, he doesn't have a time frame. Then you have your answer he told you what and why he doesn't want a relationship with you now. If I was you don't drop your panties for him. I say that bluntly because you need to get a grip on yourself. You want this man yet he doesn't want more. He's emotionally unstable for anything more than you want from him. Just wants sex with you out of love from the other ex gf. Don't give into his needs. Your needs are not met here. Do you understand and if you do it that's on you! Because who win in the end he does he got something from you for free without anything to give you in return. You get hurt, because of no love from him where he's emotionally unstable with anything else. He just got out of a relationship you don't want to be rebound do you? Ask yourself that one! 1
kortz Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 For someone who has never had sex before he sure is acting like a bit of a tool about it You should stay clear, virgin or not he's already warmed you up to the fact it's not anything more than sex. So don't expect him to change his mind, and if you accept his offer he has a get out of jail free card he can play at anytime and you'll be the one left high and dry. 4
bpb2017 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 If a person tells you they don't want a relationship, believe them. I disagree. If it was true then why even bring it up? Do you think if I have sex with him he will get attached to me and want more of a relationship? YES.
RecentChange Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 No no no no. Using sex to try to hook a man into a relationship usually results in the woman getting hurt. For most men, sex does not equal love like it does for some women. Only do this if you are prepared for him to have sex with you.... And possibly never call you again. You wouldn't be the first woman this has happened to and you won't be the last. Heh, I have had fwb, and I have taken the virginity of a man or two.... And no, it didn't make them want a relationship with me (and I didn't want that either, we were honest with each other). You are thinking like a woman, and assuming a man will think like a woman as well. 2
BaileyB Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 Tell him honestly, "I like you and I want more than sex." If he really does not want a relationship, believe him. In that case, you are not compatable and you will only be hurt if you have sex... Hoping that he will someday want more. But, why not tell him how you feel and that you would like to go out on a "date." What do you have to loose?
preraph Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 He'll finally have sex and then want to go have sex with everyone. Do not be with this guy.
hgriffin17 Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 He told you his intentions & that's bold. None of us can really tell what might happen but please, if all you really want is a relationship, you're going to be waiting for him to make up his mind and stuff and in the end you'll be disappointed. I think all of us really don't want you to get hurt. This all comes down to what you want vs what you deserve & you deserve someone who is gonna go all the way.
umirano Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 He has told you loud and clear what he wants and what his situation is. I would listen. I also think you should be aware that some people lie to get what they want. If he senses that you're on the fence about sleeping with him, but you might be convinced by some fairy tale about how he will probably fall in love with you, he might just end up telling you what you want to hear. This guy just got broken up with (what else does a relationship that ended badly mean?). He's in no shape to enter a new relationship any time soon. 1
SammySammy Posted September 19, 2017 Posted September 19, 2017 Sleeping with a man hoping he catches feelings is not a good way to start a relationship. Virgin or not. Let him lose his virginity elsewhere. Although he probably will catch feelings. That's my guess. It's just not a good foundation for a relationship.
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