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She wants me to fight for her?

letmein

By letmein
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letmein Member

letmein

Posted
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So this girl I've been hanging out with for a few months brought up she's sleeping with her co-worker. We've been going on dates so I was a bit taken aback. I hadn't kissed her yet, so I feel like this was her saying "it's your last chance". I brought up that I've tried to make moves on her, but she rejected them. To that she said "my rejection is just teasing, you know that right?"

 

I told her I wasn't going to sleep with her if she's already seeing someone. Then she said "it's very casual. He's not my boyfriend". Then she said "if you had made a move on me earlier, you probably would've won against him". She said I was being nice and that most guys would "fight to get her" after she said she was sleeping with someone else. She then called my attitude "bitter" and "****ty" because I wasn't in the best mood after she told me this.

 

She again brought up hooking up, and I said "don't you think that guy wouldn't like it?" She said "it would be her decision anyway" and if anything happened, she'd just tell him and it would be cool. She also said he doesn't kiss well sometimes, and that she doesn't shave her legs anymore because "she has no one to care about". Well that night ended in us making out, but I left it at that.

 

Why is this girl telling me about the guy she's hooking up with and then still trying to sleep with me?

Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

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She's not relationship material because she'll do the same thing to you.

 

Why waste your time on this?

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I am surprised you are not completely turned off by now.

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coolheadal Established Member

coolheadal

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What I don't get is why in the world would you put up with this sort of person in the first place. Can't you see what's going on. Wake-up!

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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What is even slightly appealing about this??? How much scarcity for this drama to be remotely worth it?

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Space Ritual Established Member

Space Ritual

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Why is this girl telling me about the guy she's hooking up with and then still trying to sleep with me?

 

Because she is a HOOWAH! What the hell are you thinking?

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
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probably would have won? MEans that even if you had made a move it still would have been a competition ....my feelings are you should opt out of any and all competition...and go for someone who truly cares for you and only you........best wishes...deb

Methodical Established Member

Methodical

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I'm guessing she is young because a real woman wouldn't play silly games. It's girls like this that cause guys to second-guess if no really means no. (Btw, no always mean no. Good job.) Never assume someone is teasing. In her case, I think she's insecure and thrives on attention. Not a person I'd waste my time on.

  • Like 3
Bastile Established Member

Bastile

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Such a wonderful story that i nearly mistook it for that of antony and cleopatra.

 

(English sarcasm. She's a wrong'un, to be kept at a distance.)

  • Like 1
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letmein Member

letmein

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Thank you guys for the advice. I think I knew this situation was a little ****ed up, but it's good to see people agree with that.

 

I do see her every couple weeks for work, so I decided to reach out to her just now and clear the air. And we haven't talked since that night.

 

I texted that I didn't think it was a good idea to hang out anymore. That I liked her, but I wasn't interested in dealing with someone else in the picture.

 

She texted me back within the same minute asking if we could be friends at least.

 

I texted back I'm not looking for just a friendship with her.

 

So hopefully this sets me on the right path.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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She texted me back within the same minute asking if we could be friends at least.

 

I texted back I'm not looking for just a friendship with her.

 

So hopefully this sets me on the right path.

 

Why would you want to date someone this unstable? She is not going to change, not for you, not for anyone. Dating her won't be different then what you see now. Move on...

bpb2017 Established Member

bpb2017

Posted
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this girl I've been hanging out with for a few months brought up she's sleeping with her co-worker.

 

I stopped reading after that. Bro she ain't into you.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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Never fight for anyone who is having sex with someone else, no matter what their supposed reason. She will do the same to you.

 

In fact, never fight for anyone, period. You shouldn't have to fight for someone to be with you. That is stupid, childish game playing and I"m hoping you're an adult and are past playing games with silly girls.

  • Like 2
kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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I texted back I'm not looking for just a friendship with her.

 

So hopefully this sets me on the right path.

 

No, what that is going to do is cause her to turn up the manipulation since you said "just a friendship". That means you want her to be your woman and quite frankly, I see nothing remotely attractive about someone who carries themselves like she does. Girls are that thin on the ground where you are or something?

 

The correct answer to her question was "no thanks. We can leave it as work colleagues and that's it."

Edited by kendahke
  • Like 1
SammySammy Established Member

SammySammy

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It sounds like you would be with her if she wasn't having sex with someone else.

 

You're already dating her when she's with someone else.

 

Can you tell me what draws you to her? What is it about her that makes you want to be in a relationship with her?

 

I'm just curious ....

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letmein Member

letmein

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Well I didn't know she was seeing someone else while I was dating her. If I had to put it into words, I guess she's the first person I've been really attracted to in a long time. The first person I've had feelings for in a really long time. I don't know why.. I'm still trying to figure that part out.

 

But after the last time we hung out, I'm starting to see her in a different light. Hopefully with some space I'll be able to shake these feelings and move on. I really should've shut out any possibility of being with her in the future with that text too. If she's willing to cheat on him, she'd do the same to me

  • Like 2
fred123 Established Member

fred123

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Well I didn't know she was seeing someone else while I was dating her. If I had to put it into words, I guess she's the first person I've been really attracted to in a long time. The first person I've had feelings for in a really long time. I don't know why.. I'm still trying to figure that part out.

 

But after the last time we hung out, I'm starting to see her in a different light. Hopefully with some space I'll be able to shake these feelings and move on. I really should've shut out any possibility of being with her in the future with that text too. If she's willing to cheat on him, she'd do the same to me

 

Shes doing nothing wrong if you guys arent exclusive

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

Posted
Posted
Well I didn't know she was seeing someone else while I was dating her. If I had to put it into words, I guess she's the first person I've been really attracted to in a long time. The first person I've had feelings for in a really long time. I don't know why.. I'm still trying to figure that part out.

 

But after the last time we hung out, I'm starting to see her in a different light. Hopefully with some space I'll be able to shake these feelings and move on. I really should've shut out any possibility of being with her in the future with that text too. If she's willing to cheat on him, she'd do the same to me

 

You can start now by blocking her number so she can't send you insipid texts and keeping your interaction with her strictly job related.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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Shes doing nothing wrong if you guys arent exclusive

 

I wonder if the guy she's having sex with sees it the same way...

 

OP only has her word that nothing serious is going on between her and the guy she's currently having sex with. She's trying to turn OP into "that" guy. If she didn't want to be with the guy she's having sex with, she wouldn't be with him. Every human understands the meaning of the word "no" by the age of 18 months.

 

Aside from the messy fact of sloppy seconds...

  • Like 2
ChatroomHero Established Member

ChatroomHero

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I wouldn't want to date a person like that and I would tell her that who she is doesn't align with what I am looking for. It sounds like you would live a life of constant testing from her.

 

 

I'd probably wish her luck with her 2nd choice and move on. I would not have much doubt at some point she would see me as disposable and be telling some other guy that she'll dump you on a whim if she felt like it that day.

 

 

It's like she is telling you that you should prove to her how valuable she is to you but doesn't realize her actions make her no real prize to 'fight' for.

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