smile Posted August 14, 2005 Posted August 14, 2005 Ok I have some advice to ask here. My ex and I split our phone bill and I have been having such a fun time being single. Sure I miss him once in a while but as long as we have NC I am getting on with my life. Moments come when I miss him like crazy but they seem less and less urgent everyday. Well I get the phone bill this month and we are still on the same plan. That means I have to call him or contact him somehow to get his half of the bill. I don't want to see him or talk to him. I know I am making progress but one conversation or meeting with him could take me back to square one. How do I do this? I dont want to see him, I dont want to talk to him.. I dont want anything. Just the half of the bill. Most of you know how he has been lately and there is no way a call or meeting would be ok. He is just so wacky about why cant I be his friend and so pushy on wanting me to know what is going on in his life. Yeh I am seeing some guys but I dont want to talk to him about that. And I dont want to hear about the girls he is seeing... or not seeing or whatever. How can I do this? Help.
ButtonPusher Posted August 14, 2005 Posted August 14, 2005 In my experience talking to an ex after a decent period of no contact will not put you back to square one. Yes it will probably affect you, but not to the extent of sending you back to the pain you might have felt when you initially broke up. So just have some balls (figuratively speaking), get the bill sorted and get on a plan where you dont share the bill.
upsetnhurt Posted August 14, 2005 Posted August 14, 2005 Pay his part of the bill for the last time and get his name off the plan for good. This has gone on for too long and it appears you both like to have that "phone cord" between yourselves.........if it cost money to deactivate him...pay it cause the hurt will cost more in the end. Stop playing games and lose the hope once and for all.
Author smile Posted August 14, 2005 Author Posted August 14, 2005 I have lost the hope. I called and had the financial responsibility for his phone changed to his name. His only job was to call back and accept it. I was under the impression that he did. I am getting on with my life, I am dating and am attracted to other boys.. finally. I can see what went wrong in our relationship and I know what I want and what I dont want. He is the one who calls. Five days in a row.. then on the last day he acted like he needed to talk so bad, left a so sad msg. So I call just to see how he is and he said it was nothing he fixed it but how am I. WTF? These last two weeks have been awesome. I have met nice guys and I am getting my confidence back. I think I am begining to remember how to flirt again. Then, as I am feeling so happy and ready ... excited even for my new life, he txted me last night. Around 11pm on saturday night I get this sad txt that just says "Hi." I have already told him I am not ready to be his friend and I dont want to talk. I have no unreal expectations and I am not playing games. I want him to be gone.. I want him to leave me alone. I didnt answer. This just sucks bc all of my new life outlook and such just seems so shakey after finding out I have to talk to him about the phone. After this last year of not being together but being together I am more mad than anything. I am tired of him wanting me when he wants me and not being there when I want him. That is not even friendship. He used me this last year and I just can't even look at him anymore. I dont know who he is anymore and I dont like this guy. If I am playing games I certainly dont mean to. Not with him anyway. Why is this happening now?
whichwayisup Posted August 14, 2005 Posted August 14, 2005 I guess I don't understand the reasonings of the phone bill connected to the two of you even though you aren't together. Why was that not changed when you guys broke up? Just curious. Seems it has just caused more problems and heartaches. Hang in there and keep seeing those other guys. Don't try to figure out your ex, what he feels/thinks of you. You know you're not playing games and you seem very upfront and honest. If he knows you well enough, he'll know that about you, so try not to worry.
amberlily Posted August 14, 2005 Posted August 14, 2005 Sorry I don't know your history or how long you 2 have been broken up. How long? I take it you 2 lived together. So the actual bill was in BOTH of your names? If not, whose name is the phone bill/account in? I'm guessing your breakup was recent and you feel you owe half of the bill because this bill covered time/charges for when you were still together - is that correct ? Can you better explain the situation?
Author smile Posted August 14, 2005 Author Posted August 14, 2005 Actually we didnt live together. The funny thing is after 3 years of being together we decided to get a joint plan for our cell phones bc it was going to be cheaper for us to talk to eachother that way when he went on tour with his band. I guess that was too much commitment for him bc less than a month later he called me from the road wacked out of his mind on mushrooms and decided I was the antichrist. I kept the phone the same until he came home. He said he was mixed up so I waited. Whenever we tried to split the bill we only halfway tried. I thought that was great bc he still wanted me in his life and I thought if we were connected he would realize how much he loved me... HAH Anyway after a year of sleeping together but being broken up and doing just about everything else a couple does I was tired of waiting. He said he didnt want me and I walked away. He wants me to be his friend but that has ended in too much confusing cuddling and sex. So we cant be friends. But he calls and messages me as if nothing was wrong. And seems to get mad when I dont answer. I am not answering his calls and I made the full moves to split the phones. All he had to do was call and say "I accept financial responsibility for the phone". I thought he did it but there is no record of that conversation. He is too confusing and manipulative for me to be around. And it hurts that someone who I believe loved me so much could treat me like this. Use me for his needs and not care about what I need. That hurts to see or be around. When I see him now he is sad and just seems unhappy. But he choose what he choose and I am happy. Why try to make me feel guilty for letting go after HE broke up with me? What the heck is that about? And I dont want to see him bc I know I still love him.... but I need to move on. He is in no place to have a relationship with me and I cant take this bs that has been going on for the last year.
westernxer Posted August 14, 2005 Posted August 14, 2005 Why would anyone want to share a phone plan with an ex?
dgiirl Posted August 14, 2005 Posted August 14, 2005 Explain the situation to the phone company. They should be able to give you advice. Tell them you want your name off the plan and you want to open a new account. Sure it might cost you a little bit, but they should help you. I had to call the phone company here. The lady was nuts. She wanted me to get my stbxh and I on the phone at the same time so he can authorize the transfer. I said "I am facing a divorce and there is no way i'm getting my husband back in my home, are you nutz?" She came up with an alternative situation. At the end of the day they just want their money. They shouldnt jeopardize your welfare to get it.
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