Jump to content

Issues with Dating


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Hi, I’m a 40 year old male and have struggled for the last 5 years on the dating scene. I wanted to see if you have suggestions on how I can turn this around. I am very interested in getting into a long-term relationship with my ideal woman that leads to a happy marriage and family.

 

I’ve dated hundreds of women over the past 5 years and all the women I’ve been interested have turned me down or have shown little-to-no-interest. It still boggles my mind how many women I’ve met and how none of them have turned into anything. I have gotten some interest from a small number of women and I’ve tried to be open-minded but they’ve been completely not my type so I didn’t pursue it.

 

I’d love to find out why so many women are showing little-to-no-interest and why I’m getting so much rejection and then put in a plan to change. I’d love to be able to attract the women I’m interested in and be able to turn the one I choose to be my girlfriend.

 

Some background on me. I’m tall (6’2”), well-educated (have two Ivy league degrees), successful (I have a great, well-paying job and starting my own passion business on the side), fit (I love fitness and have a lean, athletic body), well-groomed (have a full head of hair and no gray hair), fashionable, social (I had tons of friends when I was living in the city), likable (I get along with almost anyone), and fun (I love new trying new things and new adventures). I have no problem approaching women and, if I see signs of interest, asking them out. And I’ve had lots of experience dating women in the past and have been in a handful of relationships and love to plan fun dates together. While I’m getting up there, I do think I’m physically attractive for my age. And personally, I think I’m a catch :)

 

That said, on the dating scene, I sometimes feel like the most unattractive person in the world. The women I’m interested in show little-to-no interest, are flaky and unresponsive in their messages, are constantly busy, and seem to put little-to-no effort to get to know me. And then after a date or two they’ll suddenly disappear or turn me down. Yet meanwhile they say they’re looking for a relationship and their friends will say they are looking for someone just like me. But they put so little effort to get to know me and constantly are putting up blocks.

 

For example, the last six girls I dated turned me down one after another. One turned me down after four dates because she wasn’t feeling it when she kissed me. Another went on three dates and said she felt no chemistry. Another said she didn’t feel it after our first date. Another turned me down before we met because she said I didn’t show enough interest in her (even though I was the one who initiated all the texts and planned everything. Another said I showed too much interest and just decided one day she wasn’t interested.

 

Most of my issues seem to be related to chemistry or attraction and I’m not sure how to fix that. And all the issues feel like something out of my control. I actually enjoyed many of my dates and, in may cases, was starting to feel something with the girl and was looking to get to know her better. Meanwhile, she didn’t want to see me again.

 

One time, I called seven women who I dated in the past and asked them why it didn’t work out and they all gave vague reasons for why they weren’t interested. Two had forgot why and were open to going out again and so I asked them out. After a couple of dates they disappeared on me again.

 

I understand that not all dates, particularly first dates, work out. But I’ve been experiencing 5 years of dating hell where things keep falling apart and the only thing that’s the same is me so I’d love to find out what is causing this pattern.

 

Over the last 5 years, I’ve met with about five different dating coaches to help diagnose and resolve the issue. Their usual reaction when they see me is they say I’m really good looking and likable and they are surprised that I’m having issues and not in a relationship. They then say that a couple of tweaks will solve all my issues. They are usually able to increase my confidence and I usually start to get more dates and phone numbers. But then the rejections start pouring in and one by one as women start turning me down. And the coaches can never explain it. I follow what they say word for word and the same pattern repeats itself.

 

Also, my female friends, guy friends, and family don’t understand why I’m single and can’t understand why I keep getting turned down by women.

 

My lack of dating success has reaked havoc on my personal life. Most of my friends are now married and having kids and I’m single and on my. My sister is happily married and has three kids and my parents moved to be closer to her and I’m on my own own on the opposite side of the country and feel like I get treated like a second class citizen. Also, I don’t enjoy parties and social events with couples because I feel like the odd person out. Plus, I’m starting to feel like I’ll be single my whole life and never have kids.

 

Outside of dating, my life is pretty awesome. I love my job, am in amazing shape, have a great set of friends, have a loving family (my parents are still very loving and supportive even though they really want me to be married), and have the money and time to do whatever I want.

 

Over the last 3 months, I took a break from dating to focus on myself and have been traveling, going on outdoor adventures, working out like crazy, volunteering, taking classes to learn new skills, and doing a bunch of activites I’ve always wanted to try.

 

But now, I would love to have a companion and am thinking about going back onto the dating apps. But I really don’t want to repeat the constant dating rejections that I’ve experienced before.

 

Do you know why women I’m interested in are constantly turning me down and are uninterested? Also do you know how I can fix it? I’d be happy share any details that would help diagnose the issue.

 

Thank you, in advance, for any help you can provide and sorry for the long post!

Posted

You are going to have to ask for the truth. Maybe ask a close female friend. From here no one can really tell you what to do.

 

Even tho you have everything in place, doesn't mean you have it in the bag. Maybe you come of as stale or boring, too stiff or stuffy, they don't get your sense of humor.

Posted (edited)

My guess is that you don't seem natural on your dates and women are picking up on this. Your actions and moves can seem very artificial and just create a certain feeling about you that is not attractive. Women will just sense as a lack of chemistry. You are probably wearing your anxiety about past dating failures on your sleeve and don't even realize it. Your friends and dating coaches will never be able to pick up on this because you are not dating them. You are simplyAdmiral8 in their eyes.

 

Let me give you an example, I was on a date with a woman a few days ago sitting at a restaurant with date. She pointed over to a couple seated at a table across form us. She said the woman was going to go home with the man who appeared to be a bit older. I told her that man would never be able to take the woman home he was sitting with. I pointed out that the man did not appear comfortable around the woman. He was rocking his feet back and forth nervously while talking to her and sort of twisting his arms around each other giving off the vibe that he was not relaxed although he was talking in a fluent manner. He was also sort of hunched over in a sort of submissive way. His body language told me he was not comfortable around this nice looking woman at all. She had a very low interest look on her face. She will sense it as a lack of chemistry and he will wonder why he would not be getting another date with her.

 

Absolutely embrace your failures. Know that you will continue to rack them up in large quantities and really become comfortable with this idea. It is fine. All you need is that one success if you are looking for that one person for a long term relationship.

 

You need momentum from a string of dating successes. My advise to you is to start multi-dating and don't stop your focus on multi-dating interests until you have completely exhausted the experience. By this I mean you must keep the dates coming in large numbers and keep doing it even when you start to get complaints from your dates. Be honest about it if they ask if you are dating others. You will begin to feel much more comfortable during your dates and become less concerned with your failures which will still be racking up but your successes will also rack up and this will boost your ego tremendously. You will eventually begin to feel more attractive and you become more attractive.

 

It is great you have a nice career and I hope you have a decent amount of money in the bank because this will be expensive but worth every penny, in my opinion. You will be giving yourself an invaluable makeover. Also, you will be extremely exhausted but you should really push yourself. I cannot emphasize this enough. You will be absolutely fatigued but should press on. I think a realistic goal will be to have 3 new dates per week. Ideally, you should run this for at least a few months. Don't even focus on finding Mrs. Right in this process. Just go.

 

Good luck, man.

Edited by Mike B.
  • Like 2
Posted

Mike gave you great advice. I would just add that rather than just stick to only online dating and apps that with all these activities you do, try to make some GIRLfriends and the ones you find attractive be flirting with....over time. I'm guessing that you don't exude much sexual chemistry. On paper you sound good and seem outgoing enough & taking your word on the looks (though even just average guys don't have that many problems getting a gf if they've been out with as many people as you have). I think you need something that is going to be simmering for a little while where you have a chance to flirt over time and a real friendship in place. OLD is dismissive and harsh and people are fickle. You'd have to come out swinging & even then you might still not succeed for reasons not related to you. All of this builds on the deep thing you are carrying around with you that you are a dating failure. That needs to change. It can make you act stiff and trying too hard on a date I think. And there inherently might be some of that going on without he that thought being so strong in your head. You need to work on flirting and charm--that works even for some really not good looking guys/guys who have very little going on career wise etc. Good luck

Posted

Your problems are no different than many of ours. You like the women who don't like you. And the women like you who you don't like. This is very common.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

Thanks so much for the replies. Just a couple of comments on your suggestions.

 

You are going to have to ask for the truth. Maybe ask a close female friend. From here no one can really tell you what to do.

 

Believe me - I've been trying to find the truth. That's why I called up 7 women who I dated in the past and asked them why it didn't work out and if there was anything I could do to improve. That was pretty painful and they gave me nothing.

 

I do have a close female friend who is friends with many of the girls I dated and at first she didn't understand why I was getting so many rejections. Then she talked to the girls and she said I came across as too eager to have sex with them. According to her, my inviting them to come up to my place for a drink after the 3rd date was too fast. So I decided to put her advice in action and went slower with a girl I had just recently started dating. That girl then lost interest because she didn't feel any sexual chemistry.

 

Maybe you come of as stale or boring, too stiff or stuffy, they don't get your sense of humor.

 

Yea, that could be it. I personally felt like our conversations were fun and lively and we spent time balanced between talking about them and me. That said, I definitely think the issue could be not being flirty enough. I'm planning to work on being more flirty and fun.

 

My guess is that you don't seem natural on your dates and women are picking up on this. Your actions and moves can seem very artificial and just create a certain feeling about you that is not attractive. Women will just sense as a lack of chemistry. You are probably wearing your anxiety about past dating failures on your sleeve and don't even realize it. Your friends and dating coaches will never be able to pick up on this because you are not dating them. You are simplyAdmiral8 in their eyes.

 

Yes, I do think I'm re-thinking my dating failures over and over in my head and it's causing me to feel down and to repeat those failures in a self-fulfilling prophesy.

 

One of the big changes I'm planning to make is to start doing a month-long series of visualizations where I visualize myself as successful with women and have a fun, flirty, charming, carefree personality and women flock to me. I want to root out all my past failures from my mind and replace it with a new, more attractive me.

 

My advise to you is to start multi-dating and don't stop your focus on multi-dating interests until you have completely exhausted the experience.

 

Haha, believe me, I have done a ton of multi-dating. To rack up hundreds of dates in 5 years requires dating lots of girls at once. Before I took a break from dating, I had six days in a row with six dates with six different girls. Quite exhausting and expensive. And each of them turned me down lol.

 

I know dating is a numbers game, but I want to improve myself first before I start dating again so I maximize my chances of things going the way I want.

 

You need to work on flirting and charm

 

Yup, I'm planning to work on these areas.

 

Your problems are no different than many of ours. You like the women who don't like you. And the women like you who you don't like. This is very common.

 

Yes, that's the core of my issue. Good to hear that I'm not alone. But there are men who don't have this issue and are able to attract the women they want. I want to do everything in my power to get to that state.

Posted

Maybe you are a bad kisser? I say that because I have a couple of times ended things with men because they kiss badly. It is a big turn off.

 

Maybe something to think about? as you said one woman ended it after you kissed and a few because of a lack of chemistry after a few dates. It really may be as simple as that.

Posted

 

I do have a close female friend who is friends with many of the girls I dated and at first she didn't understand why I was getting so many rejections. Then she talked to the girls and she said I came across as too eager to have sex with them. According to her, my inviting them to come up to my place for a drink after the 3rd date was too fast. So I decided to put her advice in action and went slower with a girl I had just recently started dating. That girl then lost interest because she didn't feel any sexual chemistry.

 

 

 

My guess is that you don't seem natural on your dates and women are picking up on this. Your actions and moves can seem very artificial and just create a certain feeling about you that is not attractive. Women will just sense as a lack of chemistry. You are probably wearing your anxiety about past dating failures on your sleeve and don't even realize it. Your friends and dating coaches will never be able to pick up on this because you are not dating them. You are simplyAdmiral8 in their eyes.

 

Yes, I do think I'm re-thinking my dating failures over and over in my head and it's causing me to feel down and to repeat those failures in a self-fulfilling prophesy.

 

One of the big changes I'm planning to make is to start doing a month-long series of visualizations where I visualize myself as successful with women and have a fun, flirty, charming, carefree personality and women flock to me. I want to root out all my past failures from my mind and replace it with a new, more attractive me.

 

My advise to you is to start multi-dating and don't stop your focus on multi-dating interests until you have completely exhausted the experience.

 

Haha, believe me, I have done a ton of multi-dating. To rack up hundreds of dates in 5 years requires dating lots of girls at once. Before I took a break from dating, I had six days in a row with six dates with six different girls. Quite exhausting and expensive. And each of them turned me down lol.

 

I know dating is a numbers game, but I want to improve myself first before I start dating again so I maximize my chances of things going the way I want.

 

You need to work on flirting and charm

 

 

If you have racked up hundreds of dates in 5 years and still have issues, there is something seriously wrong here that likely has its roots outside of dating itself. Professional counseling may be of benefit to you.

 

After dating a few women at most, someone should catch your eye and she catches yours and something like a long term relationship should develop. Furthermore, just by chance...Just by chance you should click with someone after dating more than 10 women unless you are picking your dates up from a women's prison. Certainly dating hundreds of women in such a short amount of time should have produced a wife or at least an engagement at your age.

 

I would seek professional counseling. I am not sure dating coaches will help you.

Posted

Objectively, what do you think your personality is like? You mention a lot in your original post, but nothing really about your personality. All of these ladies have had the benefit of meeting you in person, so outside of your physique, education, it is certainly something about your personality, mannerism that is turning them off. What does your family, sister say about you? Oftentimes, people are very hesitant about critiquing someone else and will either tell you there is 'nothing' or unnecessarily compliment w/o the critical answers you seek regarding what is perhaps not so great about you.

Posted
Objectively, what do you think your personality is like? You mention a lot in your original post, but nothing really about your personality. All of these ladies have had the benefit of meeting you in person, so outside of your physique, education, it is certainly something about your personality, mannerism that is turning them off. What does your family, sister say about you? Oftentimes, people are very hesitant about critiquing someone else and will either tell you there is 'nothing' or unnecessarily compliment w/o the critical answers you seek regarding what is perhaps not so great about you.

 

 

That is what I forgot to mention. It is really a waste of time going back and asking your dates what was wrong that turned them off. Often times, they cannot put the finger on it themselves and it just a feeling they get about you or they simply do not care enough to create negativity with you by telling you negative things about yourself. What's in it for them when they tell you negative things about yourself that turned them off? They won't receive pleasure from it and who knows how you would react.

 

If anything, asking women what turned them off will further feed into your anxiety and further turn them off by your insecurities. I think it is a no win situation.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Dating can be brutal. Kudos on continuing to try rather than throwing your hands up and giving up.

 

A few thoughts:

 

#1

There's a mismatch between what you want and what you can get. By your own admission, there are women who are definitely interested in you. The problem is you aren't interested in them and are unwilling to give them a chance beyond an initial trial date or two. Instead you really want a relationship with one of the women who isn't interested in you and won't give you a chance beyond a few initial dates. Given the number of women you've dated, you need to reevaluate your criteria. Not what you want to hear, but from your results, you're way overestimating your value on the relationship market.

 

What is it about the women who are interested in you that you find so unattractive that you won't consider a relationship with them?

 

#2

You mentioned you have female friends who are surprised that you're having dating difficulties because they think you're such a great catch. Why aren't they interested in dating you? With all due respect, if you're such a great catch in their eyes, then they would be falling all over themselves to date you. Talk is cheap. (No doubt you've seen an unattractive woman post a new photo of herself on Facebook, and many of her friends then gush "stunning," "beautiful," "gorgeous," etc.) If your female friends won't date you, then they most likely aren't stumped about why you're single. They just don't want to hurt your feelings.

 

Or is it that you're not interested in them? Why not?

 

#3

My guess is part of the issue is the intangibles, such as interpersonal skills--

  • How you treat your dates and others
  • How you interact with others
  • Etc.

For example, while you're focused on your full head of hair and flat abs (both of which may disappear with age), they may be focused on whether you would be a thoughtful and kind relationship partner (characteristics that last a lifetime).

 

#4

Asking women who went on a date with you why they won't date you again is an exercise in futility. There are tons of downsides and absolutely no upside to sharing that from their perspective. You'll never get the real reason out of them even though their friends will get a detailed laundry list of your issues. Women are socialized not to hurt someone's feelings. Add to that you have some stranger barraging you after you said you weren't interested. You've closed the door and they keep bugging you anyway. Not to mention, guys get downright nasty and mean when they hear things about themselves they don't like. Who needs that when the person will never be in your life again? Also who wants someone trying to convince you they'll "fix" their deal breakers when you have zero interest in ever seeing them again?

 

Expect that if they do respond to the request for feedback, the response will be vague, wishy washy palaver that suggests something palatable rather than the real reason that turned them off.

 

Your best bet is to work with a good, reputable coach or therapist, and to reevaluate your criteria.

Edited by angel.eyes
  • Author
Posted

Thanks again for the suggestions and follow-ups. I'm putting together an action plan with many of your suggestions and hopefully will be able to resolve my issue in the future.

 

Here are my comments.

 

Maybe you are a bad kisser? I say that because I have a couple of times ended things with men because they kiss badly. It is a big turn off.

 

I definitely could be a bad kisser. One of the last women I dated said that she didn't feel anything when she kissed me and I have gotten rejected many times after a first kiss. That said, I've been turned down quite a bit before even getting to that stage so I think it's more than that. Plus, the last girl I kissed told me she really liked it and was very interested in meeting again. Unfortunately, there were other reasons it wasn't going to work.

 

That said, I'm going to look up online how to be a better kisser and try out any exercises they provide. If you have any suggestions on how to improve do let me know.

 

Certainly dating hundreds of women in such a short amount of time should have produced a wife or at least an engagement at your age.

 

I would seek professional counseling. I am not sure dating coaches will help you.'

 

I totally agree and am baffled why so many dates in my past never worked out. Looking back, I put in my best and had honest intentions and got pain back in return.

 

Dealing with so many back-to-back rejections can naturally cause frustration, anger, and dejection in a person which is why I took a 3 month break from dating and feel so much better.

 

Specifically, what kind of professional counseling would you recommend? And how would it help me fix my issue?

 

Objectively, what do you think your personality is like?... What does your family, sister say about you?

 

I personally think I have a very likable personality. I recently moved to the suburbs about 6 months back but when I was living in the city, I had tons of friends and had a good set of both guy and female friends. I've always made friends easily and am able to make conversation with almost anyone. And if a girl catches my fancy, I do become more flirtatious and love to tease her and play around.

 

Both my mom and my sister cannot understand why things are not working with me. My mom is an angel and she listens to all my dating horror stories and can't understand why women keep turning me down.

 

There's a mismatch between what you want and what you can get.

 

I've lowered my standards recently but I still do have some standards and am not going to date and marry any girl off the street.

 

Honestly, the women I'm trying to date are pretty average. Most are just normal looking girls who look and act similar to my female friends, sister, female cousins, and female friends, and the wives/girlfriends of my best guy friends.

 

The ones I'm not interested in are usually older than me, have kids, smoke, or I'm completely not attracted to.

 

#2

You mentioned you have female friends who are surprised that you're having dating difficulties because they think you're such a great catch.

 

I don't have any interest in dating most of them or even think of them that way. Honestly, for me, when I go into a friend zone with a girl, I don't even think of them in a romantic way. And I think the same is true for them.

 

They've tried to set me up with their female friends but many of them won't go out with me. When I ask my female friend why she usually just says I'm not their type.

 

#3

My guess is part of the issue is the intangibles, such as interpersonal skills--

 

For example, while you're focused on your full head of hair and flat abs (both of which may disappear with age), they may be focused on whether you would be a thoughtful and kind relationship partner (characteristics that last a lifetime).

 

Believe me, I'm not so superficial that I care that much about my hair or abs. I just gave that as background.

 

I do value personality greatly and think I have a lot to offer in that area. I'm think I'm super thoughtful and caring in relationships. I've had three relationships in my lifetime and I've treated the girls so well. And on the dates, I feel like I'm kind, polite, courteous, and caring. And in turn I usually get run all over.

 

Recently, the main feedback I get from women when they turn me down is that they don't feel chemistry or attraction towards me. I'm not sure if that means I'm doing something wrong or if there's nothing I can do to make them like me. If you have any suggestions on how to improve my chemistry and attraction please do let me know.

 

#4 Your best bet is to work with a good, reputable coach or therapist, and to reevaluate your criteria.

 

I have worked with 5 different coaches in the past. I specifically asked them if I needed to lower my criteria and all of them pushed back and said I should actually raise my standards and that I should be able to easily get what I want. They said I just needed small changes and I'd be married in no time. Four of the coaches specifically said I was 'good looking' and had a very likable personality and one said I was a 9 out of 10. And believe me, I wasn't trying to fish for compliments. I specifically told them to be as honest and candid as possible since I was looking to get in a relationship with the right person. I followed their advice to the 'T' and kept getting the same pattern of rejection.

 

I'm reaching out to another coach to see if they can help.

 

Honestly, I know this sounds weird, but it feels like there's a larger force that wants me to be single. I feel like every time I meet a girl I'm interested, things get foiled. And meanwhile, the only women who treat me normally are the ones I have absolutely no romantic interest in.

 

I've read a number of self-help books that say your thoughts create your reality. There's no doubt all these rejections keep playing over and over in my mind and could be causing things to repeat themselves. Also feeling like a force is causing you to be single is probably not the best mindset.

 

To change this, I'm planning to do a month-long series of visualizations where I imagine myself as an attractive, flirtatious man who's an amazing kisser and generates lots of attraction and chemistry and women flock to him and he's able to get the girl he wants in the end. We'll see if this helps.

Posted

Just out of curiosity, how did you feel about the women who you dated, what was your emotional or physical response to them?

Posted

Damn, man, I wish I could help you. You sound like the second coming of Christ on paper but I am just as stomped as your mom, sister, friends and dating coaches. I'm sure you don't have anything obviously out of place like a 3-pronged pitchfork tattooed on your forehead since your dating coaches would have criticized that by now. I assume your mannerisms are masculine.

 

 

I suggest starting with a relationship therapist with the thought that they will probably find something not directly related to dating that is a roadblock for you.

Posted

Three close friends, 2 males and 1 female, about your age or more, had a lot of success with paid online dating sites. All three met their spouses there and have had long and good marriages. Only the girl was good looking. It is not always looks but sometimes your personality. You may even be attracted to the type of girls who are not going to be attracted to you. Another friend had that problem. He wanted Playboy model type girls with a girl next door personality. Problem was that those kind of women would never be attracted to him The problem was not his looks or money. The problem was that he was so set in his ways that he scared off all of his dates. He finally got a woman to live with him until one day he started yelling at her for not putting the milk back on the right shelf in his refrigerator. Plus she tried to be friends with girls he met to avoid rejection.

 

He actually had my wife and I join him on a date to see what we thought the problem was. It was his third date with the girl. The problem was obvious. He never made a move to be intimate. He would not dance any slow dances, touch her while talking to her. He never put his arm around her or tried to kiss her. He treated her like he would do a female friend and avoided all intimacy. He never even told her that she is pretty or he likes her. He did not have "game" which is why he heard the girls say that they loved him as a brother and not the other way.

 

You have to look deep inside you or have a friend or ex girlfriend tell you what the problem was. Looks are not at the top of most woman's list. Number one is sense of humor and then after that you may find, having a good job, intelligence, etc. Not too long ago I overheard a group of single middle aged women talking about what they wanted in a guy. Number one was sense of humor. They wanted a man who could make them laugh a lot. They said that looks fade.

 

Find out what is wrong with you and fix it. I have had beastly hairy short crude friends find good looking girlfriends. Guys missing arms and legs get married as do some in prison. It is not all about looks.

Posted

I really don't think he was trying to flaunt his looks. I took it as that the OP was simply trying to provide his profile for us to better help him. One of his attributes that he listed was that he is thought to have good looks. Looks do really matter a lot of times when it comes to dating or those photos wouldn't be such a huge deal on the dating sites and apps. I agree that it is not everything but looks are important to most people or else we would just be reading faceless profiles on dating apps. Of course, other things are important. No one wants a handsome, rich prick.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks again for the replies. I think I have enough suggestions to go off of so I'm probably going to take a break from this forum. But I do appreciate all of you taking the time to respond.

 

Here are my final comments:

 

Just out of curiosity, how did you feel about the women who you dated, what was your emotional or physical response to them?

 

With many of them, I was starting to really like them and develop feeling for them. It was still early of course but I was looking forward to getting to know them more. So, it was emotionally painful when they turned me down. And it's been especially painful when it's happened so many times.

 

From a physical standpoint, if I was interested, I was escalating whenever possible. It depended upon the girl and whether she was open and interested in advancing.

 

I am just as stomped as your mom, sister, friends and dating coaches.

 

Haha welcome to my world. It's so frustrating not knowing why this is occurring. I'm pretty much guessing in the dark on what to do and so far, none of it has worked.

 

That said, sometimes you can't explain everything in life. Many of these suggestions make me a better person overall so I'm happy to do them for me. And maybe one day things will work on the dating/romance front. In the meantime, I can only accept the life I've been given and be the best I can be.

 

Find out what is wrong with you and fix it.

 

LOL, if I knew what was wrong with me or how to find out what's wrong with me I would have done that a long time ago and fixed it and my problems would be solved. My issue is I don't know what exactly is causing this and a lot of people have sometimes conflicting opinions on the root cause and so far nothing's been able to help.

 

I really don't think he was trying to flaunt his looks.

 

Yes, exactly. I don't know if I'm good looking or if I'm an ugly bastard. To me, I'm just me and I definitely don't try to come across as a prick. I do value having a fun, likable personality and value a likable personality in others. I was just repeating what others have told me in the past - and whether they are truthful or lying to me, I really don't know.

 

Special thanks to Mike B for your thoughtful responses and reading through all my long posts :)

×
×
  • Create New...