Need on .....

[Kal95]

It's not about folding your tail and running away. It's about being *humble* and recognize she needs something else than a man fighting a sex addiction. It's recognizing you have a problem that is bigger than you and you need help, it's about telling her you have a problem and that right now you cannot be the man she needs you to be.

 

I can't argue with this...i think your right...but what about me?...dnt I deserve happiness?....looking at it frm another perspective...my life was pretty meaningless before now....i almost always had someone in bed but i was always kinda of lonely...but now i have someone that makes me happy....gives my life meaning.....am really trying...just made up my mind to tell her so that we can work on it together...ps: the only time i remember lying to her was when she asked me how many people i had been with...i just made up a number because i honestly couldnt remember

[Gaeta]

I can't argue with this...i think your right...but what about me?...dnt I deserve happiness?....looking at it frm another perspective...my life was pretty meaningless before now....i almost always had someone in bed but i was always kinda of lonely...but now i have someone that makes me happy....gives my life meaning.....am really trying...just made up my mind to tell her so that we can work on it together...ps: the only time i remember lying to her was when she asked me how many people i had been with...i just made up a number because i honestly couldnt remember

 

Of course you deserve happiness. But can you find happiness with this temptation haunting you? It's intefering now and it will interfere with your next gf as well if you don't look into it.

 

Do you recogize yourself in the following? If yes how about speaking to a therapist first.

 

 

• Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
  
• Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
  
• Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.
  
• Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites.
  
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.
  
• Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.
  
• Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.
  
• Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.
  

[LivingWaterPlease]

Kal95, I commend you on facing this about yourself. Next step is to deal with it.

I think it's unusual for someone of your age to admit this and I'd think that would bode well for a good outcome. Imo, most young men would just ignore it, cheat on the lady, and end up messing up the relationship and their life afterwards. You sound like a really good guy!

 

As you follow through with treatment it may be that you can help other guys and girls at some point with your story and with your testimony of how you overcame and went on to live a full life.

 

You should journal as you work your way through this. In fact, you could use your posts on LS to begin your journal and possibly end up putting it into book form.

 

There are thousands of young people who could identify with and benefit from your experience.

 

Please keep posting. I really admire that you want to treat this lady right. You seem to be a really great guy!

Edited September 16, 2017 by LivingWaterPlease

[Kal95]

Of course you deserve happiness. But can you find happiness with this temptation haunting you? It's intefering now and it will interfere with your next gf as well if you don't look into it.

 

Do you recogize yourself in the following? If yes how about speaking to a therapist first.

 

 

• Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
  
• Being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex; wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity.
  
• Thinking of sex to the detriment of other activities or continually engaging in excessive sexual practices despite a desire to stop.
  
• Spending considerable time in activities related to sex, such as cruising for partners or spending hours online visiting pornographic Web sites.
  
• Neglecting obligations such as work, school or family in pursuit of sex.
  
• Continually engaging in the sexual behavior despite negative consequences, such as broken relationships or potential health risks.
  
• Escalating scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect, such as more frequent visits to prostitutes or more sex partners.
  
• Feeling irritable when unable to engage in the desired behavior.
  

 

I have been doing a lot of reading online...i admit that i am plagued with some of the characteristics you've listed....i have been searching for the tight way to go about it....i have found a sex addict anonymous meeting....but i dont know any therapist....i plan on going to my schools clinic to talk to a health care professional or something..

[Kal95]

Kal95, I commend you on facing this about yourself. Next step is to deal with it.

I think it's unusual for someone of your age to admit this and I'd think that would bode well for a good outcome. Imo, most young men would just ignore it, cheat on the lady, and end up messing up the relationship and their life afterwards. You sound like a really good guy!

 

As you follow through with treatment it may be that you can help other guys and girls at some point with your story and with your testimony of how you overcame and went on to live a full life.

 

You should journal as you work your way through this. In fact, you could use your posts on LS to begin your journal and possibly end up putting it into book form.

 

There are thousands of young people who could identify with and benefit from your experience.

 

Please keep posting. I really admire that you want to treat this lady right. You seem to be a really great guy!

 

Thank you....am really flattered....the old me wouldn't have given a rats ass about putting someone else before my desires....this is what makes me certain that i need her in my life...I don't want to loose her....she makes me want to be a better man...she awakens a fire in me that i never knew existed....i think i would take you advice about starting a journal and i will definitely continue posting....I believe that with motivation, hardwork and your continued support i can beat this

[basil67]

.the problem now is we are in a long distance relationship due to schooling...weve been apart for two weeks now and i miss her like crazy...but i have never gone this long without sex since instarted having it....and since i have been back in school there have been temptations from old **** buddies..

 

And this is why I'd never consider long distance. Too many local temptations.

 

Love is only part of the equation. Compatibility and having one's needs met are also important if it's to go the distance.

[Kal95]

We talked yesterday at length....and i admitted that i may be a sex addict...she got angry and asked if i wanted to break up with her....i told her no....and i tried to explain the problem to her....but i dont think she seemed to get it....she thinks that it because she has not had sex with me and am trying to guilt trip her or something....she said something along this lines....that if i loved her that i would not pressure her for sex and that i should do anything i wanted to do...she then hung up and has refused to take my calls or reply to my text since yesterday.....i dont know how to make her understand

[smackie9]

Did you not tell her you are going to seek help? That this is a condition?