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Kal95

By Kal95
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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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Well let me keep this brief and short....i am a guy, 22 years of age....i can say i have been sexually promiscuous...never wanting to date just one person....actually i have never had a girlfriend..i have always enjoyed variety but that all changed about two months ago....i met this 18 year old girl...and i can honestly say i fell in love...i was literally her first in almost everything...first kiss...first in almost everything...well except sex...she said she's not ready for sex....we do almost everything imaginable sex act except penetration...the problem now is we are in a long distance relationship due to schooling...weve been apart for two weeks now and i miss her like crazy...but i have never gone this long without sex since instarted having it....and since i have been back in school there have been temptations from old **** buddies...i have resisted so far...but don't know how long i can keep it up....ps: i have a very sexual appetite but i dont want to cheat on my girlfriend...but its becoming more difficult everyday.....am seriously in need of some advive

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Masturbation seems to work for most.....watch some porn to mix it up.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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You are not ready to be in a relationship. Let the girl go and live your youth to the fullest.

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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Masturbation seems to work for most.....watch some porn to mix it up.

 

Did i mention that she believes in saving her self till marriage....and when i mentioned that i wasnt sure i could be celibate for long...she said that i could have sex with whomever i want...but i shouldnt tell her...then the night before inwas to leave for school she broke down telling me that she didnt mean it....nd that she was trying to be strong and that i shouldnt cheat on her...nd that she regretted saying that....and that i should be patient with her...penetration scares her...she has even put her own fingers in her pussy...dnt knw if i can wait that long...it could be years and masturbatn nd porn begin to loose their appeal after a while

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Then you two are on very different planets and should just end it.

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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You are not ready to be in a relationship. Let the girl go and live your youth to the fullest.

 

Am actualli in love with this girl...hell prior to meeting her I probably didnt believe in love...and am tryin...dont think am not...I literally had to leave my room to shack up somewhere else because my roomates invited some girls over...i was used to a certain lifestyle before i met her...and i am trying to change...but it so ****ing difficult...i wouldn't actually call my self a sex addict...but am way up the scale....so this is so ****ing difficult for me but am trying

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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You can fall in love again. You will realize this when you get older. Timing isn't right......

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Am actualli in love with this girl...hell prior to meeting her I probably didnt believe in love...and am tryin...dont think am not...I literally had to leave my room to shack up somewhere else because my roomates invited some girls over...i was used to a certain lifestyle before i met her...and i am trying to change...but it so ****ing difficult...i wouldn't actually call my self a sex addict...but am way up the scale....so this is so ****ing difficult for me but am trying

 

Again, if you love her, let her go. You won't be able to give her the commitment she is looking for and it's not your fault. You are a young man with a high sex drive and you know ahead you won't be able to be faithfull so why would you want to pursue this and break her heart down the road? She's a virgin and you want her first experience at love be with a man that can't keep it in his pants?

 

You and her are not compatible. You may love her all you want it won't work if you have different views of the world.

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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You can fall in love again. You will realize this when you get older. Timing isn't right......

 

So the only solution would be to end it?....that would devaste me...not to talk of how devastating it would be to her....am emotionally invested in this relationship....shes an orphan...lost her parents when she was young...stays with relatives....shes been lonely all her life....am like her muse...i have already made a promise to be in her life...but this damned body wishes to betray me...i really dont want to do anything to hurt her but i fear i might slip.....a bad habbit is difficult to stop

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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Again, if you love her, let her go. You won't be able to give her the commitment she is looking for and it's not your fault. You are a young man with a high sex drive and you know ahead you won't be able to be faithfull so why would you want to pursue this and break her heart down the road? She's a virgin and you want her first experience at love be with a man that can't keep it in his pants?

 

You and her are not compatible. You may love her all you want it won't work if you have different views of the world.

 

I wouldn't say we aren't compatible.....when we were together i had no problems with being fathful as we spent almost everyday together...the problem stems from the long distance stuff...she knows who i am, my past and accepts me for who i am....i am actually changing because of her.....and i have not set out to cheat on her...but temptations have been coming my way...and i fear that one day i might not be able to resist....we talk and text everyday..and i try to think of her constantly...but when she is not on my mind...all i can think of is sex....its actually frustrating

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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So the only solution would be to end it?....that would devaste me...not to talk of how devastating it would be to her....am emotionally invested in this relationship....shes an orphan...lost her parents when she was young...stays with relatives....shes been lonely all her life....am like her muse...i have already made a promise to be in her life...but this damned body wishes to betray me...i really dont want to do anything to hurt her but i fear i might slip.....a bad habbit is difficult to stop

Just think how devastating it would be when you wake up one morning next to a stranger.

 

Just stay friends, and when the timing is right, you can reconnect.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I wouldn't say we aren't compatible.....when we were together i had no problems with being fathful as we spent almost everyday together...the problem stems from the long distance stuff...she knows who i am, my past and accepts me for who i am....i am actually changing because of her.....and i have not set out to cheat on her...but temptations have been coming my way...and i fear that one day i might not be able to resist....we talk and text everyday..and i try to think of her constantly...but when she is not on my mind...all i can think of is sex....its actually frustrating

 

School has just started and you are already fighting back temptation. What will it be in one month? 2 months? 22 year old men should not be in long distance relationships, and 21 year old women should not either.

 

You're here worrying about temptation and she is over there worrying about if you can remain faithful, how long you think that will last?

 

Also, is she just starting University? does that mean you have 3 years of this ahead of you?

 

This girl may have come into your life to teach you something but it doesn't mean she was meant to remain in your life.

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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Just think how devastating it would be when you wake up one morning next to a stranger.

 

Just stay friends, and when the timing is right, you can reconnect.

 

I actually considered it...break up with her and stay friends...remain in her life...but i dont know how she would take it....she may think i dont love her...she may never want to speak to me again....i love her too much to loose her....also love her to much to hurt her...i really don't know how to deal with this dilemma

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Gaeta is right. You are not ready for a relationship. If you were so truly in love, there would be no temptation at all.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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I actually considered it...break up with her and stay friends...remain in her life...but i dont know how she would take it....she may think i dont love her...she may never want to speak to me again....i love her too much to loose her....also love her to much to hurt her...i really don't know how to deal with this dilemma

She will be upset, but she will understand. She even said to have at it. I think she pulled back because out of fear that she would lose you to someone else. I think if you reassure her this won't be the case, it will make the blow a little softer.

 

She already knows the days are numbered here.

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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School has just started and you are already fighting back temptation. What will it be in one month? 2 months? 22 year old men should not be in long distance relationships, and 21 year old women should not either.

 

You're here worrying about temptation and she is over there worrying about if you can remain faithful, how long you think that will last?

 

Also, is she just starting University? does that mean you have 3 years of this ahead of you?

 

This girl may have come into your life to teach you something but it doesn't mean she was meant to remain in your life.

 

Shes in her first year....and am in my finals....were in different states...hundreds of kilometers apart....already have plans to visit since am financially more mature and stable.....and I believe that shes in my life to change me...to make me a better version of myself...if i werent invested in the relationship i wouldnt be on this site asking for advice...i know that theres a problem and i am looking for a solution to that problem...i cannot just fold my tails in between my legs and run away

Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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The point is if you really were ready, in love, and sure she was the one to change you for the better, you would not need to be on the site asking how to stop slooting.

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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Gaeta is right. You are not ready for a relationship. If you were so truly in love, there would be no temptation at all.

 

I dont agree with this....if i werent in love with her i would already have cheated...i wuldnt be going through all this trouble of asking strangers for advice....at the end were all human....made up of flesh and blood....the temptation will always be there....your human you should know this...am putting in a lot of effort...but my previous lifestyle and alleged sex addiction makes it difficult.....i have even thought of going to a sex addict anonymous meeting...just so you know how much i am trying

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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She will be upset, but she will understand. She even said to have at it. I think she pulled back because out of fear that she would lose you to someone else. I think if you reassure her this won't be the case, it will make the blow a little softer.

 

She already knows the days are numbered here.

 

I highly doubt she would take it well....shes a little fragile emotionally....she hardly lets anyone in....and i wouldn't want to do anything that would destroy her prospects at forming relationships in the future

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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The point is if you really were ready, in love, and sure she was the one to change you for the better, you would not need to be on the site asking how to stop slooting.

 

Contrary to popular belief...love doesn't solve all of life's problems...believe me i wished it did...then I wouldn't be in this dilemma....

LivingWaterPlease Established Member

LivingWaterPlease

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Then do so. Go to a sex addict anonymous meeting or go to a counselor or a pastor to get help whether or not you stay with this lady. It does sound to me as if you have a sexual addiction problem since the issue of sex is interfering with what you want for your life longterm.

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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Then do so. Go to a sex addict anonymous meeting or go to a counselor or a pastor to get help whether or not you stay with this lady. It does sound to me as if you have a sexual addiction problem since the issue of sex is interfering with what you want for your life longterm.

 

I have been in denial for some time...but writing on this site has made me to consider the possibility that i may be an addict....your right....why else would i consider the possibility of a meaningless roll in the sack to destroy something i really hold dear....i would try and seek professional help

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Yeah, if you have a sexual addiction problem you have bigger fish to fry. That will impact your entire life and destroy it like any other addiction. Get help for that first and foremost. You don't want to become like Charlie Sheen do you. Best of luck

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Kal95 Member

Kal95

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Yeah, if you have a sexual addiction problem you have bigger fish to fry. That will impact your entire life and destroy it like any other addiction. Get help for that first and foremost. You don't want to become like Charlie Sheen do you. Best of luck

 

I never use to see it as an addiction...i was single...in college....could hook up with someone almost anytime......after all that was what almost everone was doing...but now am in a relationship where am supposed to be faithful...i find myself almost constantly missing that lifestyle in as much as i value my current relationship....its like an itch waiting to be scratched...just cant shake the feeling

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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...i know that theres a problem and i am looking for a solution to that problem...i cannot just fold my tails in between my legs and run away

 

It's not about folding your tail and running away. It's about being *humble* and recognize she needs something else than a man fighting a sex addiction. It's recognizing you have a problem that is bigger than you and you need help, it's about telling her you have a problem and that right now you cannot be the man she needs you to be.

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