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Is "Can I let you know if I am free" always a date rejection?


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Posted
The person saying it doesnt know it?! I think they know what they are doing mate

 

 

I don't. I think they think they are just exercising their options.

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Posted

Some women don't like confrontation, and pacify the situation by giving vague answers like, "maybe", "let me check my schedule", "I'll get back to you later", "I having been real busy with work" blah blah blah. I know this because I did this in my teenage years. And it wasn't because I was keeping my options open, maybe saving them for later, I didn't want to date them at all. I was bashed for being honest so I clammed up and went the passive route so I could get away from them.

 

When I started working at the bar, I got used to saying no real fast. And even then that didn't always work. Some dorks were relentless.

 

Like I said, if there isn't a firm "YES" or "OK" with some excitement/smiling involved, then it's a no or at least take it as not that interested and move on....

 

My god we have had so many of these threads...when are some of these guys going to figure it out? Hats off for them trying and asking the ladies out, but don't beat a dead horse to death here.

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Posted (edited)
The person saying it doesnt know it?! I think they know what they are doing mate

 

They don't know they are rejecting you. Because it's a maybe not a no. They're keeping you around in the rare event that they are bored and lonely and no one else on the planet finds them desirable in that moment because all of their better options ghosted them at the same time. But it's not no

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Posted
how hard can it be to tell someone there was no chemistry and therefore there should be no date

In the real world it's not easy to just tell someone no, and for women it's even more so. I remember when I worked in LA, I picked up that it's a town where NOBODY ever says "no". Does that mean that everything is always a yes? Of course not. Instead of no they just say "maybe some other time" or similar, but it does actually mean no and people know to take the hint.

 

Surely you're smart enough to know there are many ways to reject someone without being direct (at least the woman saying it to you thinks so :D). If a girl gave you the wrong number do you ever think that maybe she made a mistake? :lmao:

 

 

When I started working at the bar, I got used to saying no real fast. And even then that didn't always work. Some dorks were relentless.

 

I think too many guys have such fragile egos that they refuse to accept a no (and not because they think there are the ****) and love dwelling on the what ifs. The OP is definitely one of them, he even said that perhaps the girl "saying it just doesn't know it". Haha!

Posted

In dating I'd say so but in a relationship no as my girlfriend sometimes does this. Then again, I girl I once dated did that but her work schedule was on a weekly basis.

Posted

It's pretty much a no. The only time it isn't I find, is if they make a little extra effort. Like, "I'm sick today and maybe can't do this weekend, I can let you know. If I'm not feeling better by then, my Tuesday nights are free".

 

 

Women are aware of how saying, "Maybe" or "Can I let you know?" very likely will come across as a soft rejection. I have found the ones interested will try to make it clear that their "Maybe" is not a soft rejection.

 

 

I have gotten to the point if I am told, "Let me get back to you", the best thing I can do is assume it is a no. If I have to press them and they do not get back to me on their own, I feel we wouldn't be very compatible anyway. I like confident and responsible women. The type of woman I get along best with are the ones that do what they say, take responsibility in dating and respect me enough to follow through when the ball is in their court. If I assume incorrectly, guess what, she'll let me know and offer another day. Can't lose unless she is running a sh*t test to see if you prove your interest by chasing.

 

 

If she more or less pushes you off and later you reach out and she agrees to go out again, I bet 99% of the time you will get the last minute cancel or unenthusiastic date where the day of she tells you something like she has to get up early the next morning and the sitter can't be there until 7pm so she can meet between 7:30 and 9:00pm, etc. I have had that a few times and every time it ends up being me spending $150 or so on dinner and being home by 9:30, disappointed I spent more than $15.

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