whale12 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 Hello so this is a pretty complicated situation ... me and this girl met (her friend has known her since she was 6 years old. She is 24 and I am 23. She has been dating this guy for 3 years now. However ever since she met me she texts me everyday and calls me 2 or 3 times a day. And we Facetime every night (except on weekends we dont really talk because she is with her bf) So we became really close me and her.. I told her friend (shes also my friend) and te girl thinks no one knows. The friend tells me she has NEVER done this and was always loyal to her bfs even her ex's have said it. Anyway so we talk for a couple of months and meet up sometimes and just talk a lot and she enjoys having me around. She has flirted with me a lot as well. And even said she has a really great time and says she feels she can really relate to me and just feels so comfortable with me. She even said I make her happy. Anyway down the line she ended up getting engaged and she did not tell me. I found out from her sister 2 days later ! When I confronted her she told me she was going to tell me and that she doesnt want to marry him. I told her you said yes to him. She told me I couldnt just say no on the spot.. it would destroy him. I told her I was not gonna talk to her no more out of repsect for him and that I was happy for her and wish her the best of luck. The couple of days my friend tells me she was crying and just always sad. We finally met up me and her.. and she told me she has feelings for me and that she is stuck because she doesnt know if she should stay with him or go with me. She told me sometimes she really thinks she would be happier with me. Anyway after that day she went cold on me and said she needed time to think. We sidnt talk for about 2 weeks and than she randomly texts me "I miss you a lot" I wrote back I miss her. A month later she calls me randomly to tell me she broke up with her bf.. (she tells me the next morning) after that I decided to give her tome because she was still cold.. but kept little contact with me. (Its normal she just got out of a 3 year relationship) Now I found a single girl and we really hit it off.. so I went out with her and me her lost contact.. when I started seeing another girl.. she went back with hee bf. However she claimed to her friend "I dont love him anymore I feel" After me and this girl broke up 2 months later.. she starts texting me again.. it started slowly.. a text her and there every couple of days. Than she started calling here and there.. than we facetimed once. Now we are 3 months here.. she is with her bf (not engaged) and she is texting me everyday sometimes a get a good morning text from as well (she always initiates contact with me everyday) she calls me abour 2 or 3 times a day and talks about her day.. she tells me when she is feeling down and talks to me when she is not feeling well.. she calls on her lunch and breaks. And we facetime everynight.. for about 1 hour or 2. She always laughs with me. However the question here I have is why is she back.. why did she go back with him but refuse to get engaged.. I mean she called it off for me and told me im more important than it and she needs me in her life. Why does she text and call me everyday.. and facetime me(video chat) Only difference now is she is a little more cooled off than she was before.. she still flirts (just last week she called me hot and said im really cute) thats another thing she always says "your so cute" or "stop being cute" she does make sexual jokes with me. And talks to me about everything. Her friend thinks she really likes me and just honestly is in love with me because its so out of character for her to be doing al this. What do you guys think. I really need help.
Redhead14 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 (edited) her friend has known her since she was 6 years old. -- She hasn't matured much beyond that . . . Tell her to give you a ring sometime when she grows up and knows what she wants and has the maturity to end a current relationship before she starts stringing another guy along. She's been doing that for a long time now. Frankly, I'd say she's playing both of you. out of character -- Her character isn't fully developed, but it is beginning to show its ugly head . . . Edited September 15, 2017 by Redhead14 1
Author whale12 Posted September 15, 2017 Author Posted September 15, 2017 So than what are you saying here? She does not like me and is faking it :/
BaileyB Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 I think, if she really wanted to be with you, she would be with you. At this point, all we really know is that this girl is quite immature and has little or no respect for boundaries. Proceed with her at your own risk.
Redhead14 Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 So than what are you saying here? She does not like me and is faking it :/ Not necessarily. She's just likes the attention because she might be having issues with her real boyfriend but she doesn't have the stones to do the right thing by ending it with him. She may very well like you, but she isn't treating you with respect, that's for sure. I think she's setting herself up to monkey-branch and you are the tree . . . and you'll likely end up actually being a rebound because she didn't give herself the proper time and take proper steps to get over the other relationship. Again, she might be using both of you guys. Even if she loves you, it's still bullsh*t to be doing what she's doing to you.
Author whale12 Posted September 16, 2017 Author Posted September 16, 2017 I notice when I do not speak with her like just dont answer the phone or text her for the day.. I will missed texts in a row and sometimes phone calls with her asking if Im alright and if Im mad at her.. than she will be sad.
Redhead14 Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 I notice when I do not speak with her like just dont answer the phone or text her for the day.. I will missed texts in a row and sometimes phone calls with her asking if Im alright and if Im mad at her.. than she will be sad. So what? She's just trying to keep her grip on you. Don't string yourself along waiting for her. Even if she does leave him for you, you aren't going to have a quality opportunity for developing a relationship with her. Don't be a scavenger circling around a dying relationship ready to pick up the scraps. You'll end up being her emotional tampon until she gets over him and then she'll move on to someone else. Rebounds rarely work out. And, if she's getting her panties in a wad just because you didn't reach out for one day, she's very needy and clingy. If she's unhappy in her relationship, it's probably because she smothered the living heck out of the guy and he's retreating. Tell her you're moving on and then block and delete her.
BaileyB Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 I notice when I do not speak with her like just dont answer the phone or text her for the day.. I will missed texts in a row and sometimes phone calls with her asking if Im alright and if Im mad at her.. than she will be sad. Let's be honest here... You like the attention too. You like the fact that she is calling you, texting you, making sexual comments to you - even though she has a boyfriend. But remember, she has a boyfriend. Which means what she is doing is not right. How would you feel if she was dating you, but texting and making sexual comments with another man. Would you be alright with that? Tell this girl that you can't talk with her anymore. Tell her that you like her and that she should contact you if/when she is single. And then, let it go... 2
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2017 Posted September 16, 2017 She's in a holding pattern. I think she is waiting for you to step up and make your intentions very clear, because right now you two are just pussy footing around here. Tell her you are in love with he or like her, and always have been, and you want to be together. This is where you draw the line now. You tell her if she doesn't end things with her BF to be with you, then she needs to stop contacting you. Don't even try because you will no longer respond. You don't want to be wasting anymore of your time on her. 1
Author whale12 Posted October 3, 2017 Author Posted October 3, 2017 Well i have cooled off towards her and been going on dates with other woman.. she found out about this.. she has been calling me non stop , texting me if “im okay?” “Are you mad at me” and a bunch of sad emojis and stuff. I just find it a bit annoying that she chases after me. Why are you with your boyfriend? Like all she does is flirt with me but doesnt break up with the dam guy.
kendahke Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 I notice when I do not speak with her like just dont answer the phone or text her for the day.. I will missed texts in a row and sometimes phone calls with her asking if Im alright and if Im mad at her.. than she will be sad. That's called "manipulating you". Let her be sad. She's got a boyfriend that she isn't getting rid of to be with you. Girls who want to be with you act like it--meaning: they don't stay in their 3 year relationships, they don't seek out attention by texting and call you---they leave their relationship, they tell you that they are free and clear to be with you. However, understand this: all this stuff she's doing with you right now behind her boyfriend's back? She'll do it to you behind your back when someone whose attention she'd rather have comes along. Don't be "that" guy.
kendahke Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 Well i have cooled off towards her and been going on dates with other woman.. she found out about this.. she has been calling me non stop , texting me if “im okay?” “Are you mad at me” and a bunch of sad emojis and stuff. I just find it a bit annoying that she chases after me. Why are you with your boyfriend? Like all she does is flirt with me but doesnt break up with the dam guy. And yet, you haven't blocked her. All you need to do is say "I'm not mad at you, but I'm also not going to let you use me as a distraction or to disrespect your boyfriend. Once you are done and out of that relationship, let me know. If I'm not with anyone, we can talk about things". Then put her on block.
smackie9 Posted October 4, 2017 Posted October 4, 2017 Well i have cooled off towards her and been going on dates with other woman.. she found out about this.. she has been calling me non stop , texting me if “im okay?” “Are you mad at me” and a bunch of sad emojis and stuff. I just find it a bit annoying that she chases after me. Why are you with your boyfriend? Like all she does is flirt with me but doesnt break up with the dam guy. Dude I told you......you need to tell her to stop contacting you if she doesn't want you as her BF. Make it clear. It will either get things rolling or she will back off. If you don't say anything this will continue.
Author whale12 Posted October 11, 2017 Author Posted October 11, 2017 Dude I told you......you need to tell her to stop contacting you if she doesn't want you as her BF. Make it clear. It will either get things rolling or she will back off. If you don't say anything this will continue. Well I did what you told me to do.. its been about a week I told her that I have feelings for you. She had called me to tell me that she is looking for a condo with her boyfriend. And I told her im happy for you. She than said why are you being so quiet with me.. I keep calling you and you dont seem into it anymore. I finally said what needed to be said, I told her I still have feelings for you, and that I am putting them aside and cooling off towards her and pulling away because its out of respect for her boyfriend. I told her that I will no longer really talk to her. She is now begging and I got so many texts from her saying why are leaving, you cant leave my life, I need you, I want you in my life. I just gave one last text saying “if you want me than dump him” its been a couple of days now and she is texting me all day and I have 10 missed calls from her. She is writing all sad quotes on her media wall. Will doing this make her make a decision ?
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